The Devil’s Wi-Fi!!

Church of England Decided to Censor Eden

The Church of England, which was established by a British king so he could marry his mistress, seems to be having a problem with sinners using its Wi-Fi to download pictures of people garbed just as their God created them. It saw the only way out – censorship.

Today Canterbury Cathedral is blocking access to certain online portals in order to keep worshippers from the temptation of looking for websites during the sermon. The church is also concerned about people searching for the stuff while having tea and cookies at the new café. The church believes that it is a huge problem when modern day pilgrims visit what is left of the shrine of Thomas Beckett. The latter lost his life after encountering some hard normal knights around his back passage.

According to a spokesman for the cathedral, the measures were really a safeguarding process. The church wanted to provide free Wi-Fi for members of the public, but of course it didn’t want them to access salacious or debasing websites.

The Church claimed that the entire move was based on a fear of the devil only, because nobody has actually been caught using their mobiles to look at the devil’s dumplings or feeding their one eyed serpent of paradise thus far. At the same time, the church doesn’t want you murdered by its God for the sin of Onan, who wouldn’t father a kid by his widowed sister-in-law. Media reports say that the appropriately named Chester Cathedral even had to close down its Wi-Fi network after it was revealed that patrons could look at chests on the Internet.