Monday, 30 November 2009

His hearts in the right place!

Church thief leaves apology: 'Sorry, I'm poor'

A thief who stole from a church in the US state of Georgia left behind a note saying he was sorry.

A note scrawled on the wall said: 'Sorry but I'm poor. Forgive me Lord.'

The Rev. Roger Davis told local TV station WSB-TV that expensive equipment including microphones and a laptop containing important records were stolen over the weekend from Berean Baptist Church. The robber broke locks and the church's safe, but it was empty.

It was the fourth time the church in Ellenwood, southeast of Atlanta, has been robbed in two years.

Davis joked that he's considering putting up a note of his own telling potential robbers to call him instead and the church will take up a collection for them.

Sunday, 29 November 2009

Getting The hump!


Humpback Horror: Camel Chaos In Oz

Around 6,000 feral camels are rampaging through a remote Australian town causing chaos and terrifying the locals, prompting the government to organise a mass cull.

The Northern Territory government said that the community of Docker River was "under siege".

Local government minister Rob Knight said: "They've actually come right into the community smashing infrastructure, so it's become a critical situation.

"There are health issues, there are camels being trampled, and dead carcasses in the community.

"They are smashing over water mains and intruding on the airstrip, causing problems with medical evacuations."

Many of the 330 residents are said to be too scared to leave their homes. The town is around 150 miles west of Uluru, commonly known as Ayers Rock.

Graham Taylor, the chief executive of local authority Macdonnell Shire, said it was a crisis.

"It began four weeks ago with 25 or 30 camels, but every day more and more turned up looking for water," he said.

He said the camels would be rounded up and taken out of town to be shot humanely.

The animals are part of a wild herd of more than a million camels which roam the central Australian desert.

They were introduced to the country in the 19th century when white settlers built roads and rail across the Outback, and used the animals for transportation.

The camels were set free afterwards, and have been breeding ever since.

With few natural predators and vast sparsely-populated areas in which to roam, the camel population has soared, putting pressure on native species by reducing food sources, destroying habitat and spreading disease.

Earlier this year, the Federal government announced it was allocating £10m to tackle the problem.

Saturday, 28 November 2009

Stab It!

Man stabs himself to avoid work

We all know there are some days when you just can't face the thought of going into work. But one man in Denver took a rather extreme approach to throwing a sickie, local police say - he stabbed himself and claimed to have been attacked by three men in a ploy to get off work.

Aaron Siebers, 29, from the Denver suburb of Edgewater, reported the supposed attack on Monday to the video store where he works. Five police agencies scrambled to the scene of the fictitious assault, including police dog units.

Siebers said that he has been stabbed by three men who were dressed in black, and were either Hispanic, or skinheads.

However, following repeated police questioning, Siebers eventually admitted that the story was made up, and the knife wound on his leg and other cuts on his body were self inflicted.

Siebers was arrested, and faces charges of false reporting and obstructing a police officer.

Friday, 27 November 2009

The Gym!…..Yeh Right!

Widower in drag uses dead wife's ID for gym……..

A man who wore women's clothing to use his dead wife's gym membership has appeared in a Hong Kong court, a report said Tuesday.

Lau Siu-wah, 51, was charged after he allegedly used his wife's identification card to exercise in the female-only section of the gym at the city's Sheraton hotel, The Standard daily reported.

But the man's looks aroused suspicion and police were called, the report said, adding that Lau was quickly arrested.

The paper said Lau admitted to police that he used the card to impersonate his wife, who died in 2007.

Lau, who appeared in court Monday in women's clothes and wearing red nail polish, was granted bail on a charge that he used an identity card relating to another person, the paper said.

Thursday, 26 November 2009

To Tip Or Not To Tip!!!

Couple arrested over 'theft' for refusing to tip in restaurant

Leslie Pope and John Wagner were handcuffed and hauled away after they failed to leave a restaurant's mandatory 18 per cent gratuity - totalling $16 (£10) - for their party of eight.

"Nobody wants to be forced to pay a tip or be arrested for terrible service," said Miss Pope, 22.

The couple, students at Moravian College in Bethlehem, Pennsylvania, had joined six friends at the town's Lehigh Pub for dinner. They claimed they had to wait almost an hour for their meal to arrive and Miss Pope said the service was so shoddy they had to get their own cutlery and napkins.

The group said they had to repeatedly ask for drink refills while their waitress smoked outside the pub.

At the end of the meal of salad and chicken wings, they were presented with a $73.87 bill. A $16.35 tip had been added as there was eight people in the party.

The group paid for the meal, but did not leave a tip. Mr Wagner, 24, said he explained to the manager why he was not leaving a tip.

The restaurant's owner admitted that the group had waited an unusually long time for their food, but said the pub had been very busy that night. He said managers offered to give the table a discount for some of the food, a claim the couple denied.

The restaurant called the police, and Miss Pope and Mr Wagner were led away in handcuffs.

Police said the pair were charged with theft, as the gratuity was part of the actual bill.

They are due to appear in court next month where they plan to contest the theft charges.

A spokesman for the Lehigh Pub said the restaurant menu makes it clear parties of six or more have a mandatory 18 per cent gratuity.

It is typical in the US to leave a 15- 20 per cent tip, and tables of six or more usually charge a mandatory 15 per cent tip.

………..Unbelievable that it has gone so far but what do expect in the States!!!!!!

Wednesday, 25 November 2009


Stephen Fry backs Digital Economy Bill protests

The petition, which was started by Talk Talk, the internet service provider, calls on the Government to reconsider its plans to disconnect persistent illegal file sharers from the internet. The proposals form part of the Digital Economy Bill, which is currently making its way through Parliament.

The petition reads: "We the undersigned petition the Prime Minister to abolish the proposed law that will see alleged illegal filesharers disconnected from their broadband connections, without a fair trial."

Charles Dunstone, chief executive of Talk Talk, has been a vocal critic of the Government's plans to cut off the internet connections of suspected illegal filesharers, claiming it could infringe human rights.

“We don't support copyright infringement in any way but we live in the real world and understand that no amount of policing and censorship will solve the problem,” he said. “It doesn't matter how many websites are blocked, how many services are shut down or how many individuals are pursued, people will always find ways to access copyrighted content for free.”

Talk Talk has told its customers that it will not surrender account details to rights holders who claim their copyright has been infringed, unless ordered to do so by a court. The internet service provider also pledged to fight the proposed legislation, and refused to disconnect those users accused of illegally sharing files over the web and infringing copyright unless legally compelled to do so.

Sign the petition at;

Tuesday, 24 November 2009

What A Load of Shit!!!

Cow dung to power more Dutch homes

A plant that converts cow dung into energy for homes opened in the Netherlands Friday.

Manure from cows at a nearby dairy farm will be fermented along with grass and food industry residues, and the biogas released during the process will be used as fuel for the thermal plant's gas turbines.

The heat generated will be distributed to around 1,100 homes in the area around Leeuwarden in the north of the Netherlands, the plant's operator Essent said in a statement.

Firms in Europe and elsewhere have been investing in biogas plants and this is the second of its scale running on cow manure in the Netherlands. It follows another plant that Essent opened in January.

Monday, 23 November 2009

The Aussie Car Wash!

Police put brakes on nude car wash romp

An early morning visit to a car wash at the weekend has earnt four central Queensland men an appointment with a magistrate next month.

Police allege two 23-year-old men and two 19-years-old stripped off and went into the automatic car wash at Biloela early on Sunday morning.

They have been charged with public nuisance after being spotted by a passing police patrol.

Senior Sergeant Nick Paton says it could have been a dangerous stunt.

"I think it was a high pressure wash that they were trying to get involved with and I imagine that would be quite painful if they'd actually got the machine going, so that's why they were advised to probably get their clothes back on [and] get their act together," he said.

Sunday, 22 November 2009

A Dog & His Toys

Dog needs surgery after eating seven toys

Meet Bonzai – a contender for the title of Lancashire's hungriest dog.

Vets have just removed SEVEN pieces of toys from the 12-year-old mixed breed's stomach.

Owner Joy Humphreys, of Brindle Road, Bamber Bridge, took him to the vets after noticing he was tired and drinking more water than usual.
After a major operation last week to remove the offending objects, the playful pooch is recovering at home and enjoying new toys under the watchful eye of Joy and husband Frank.
Joy said: "I was devastated because he's a much-loved dog. It was a terrible feeling because we really thought we'd lose him.

"He's more than a pet, he's a member of the family. I just can't imagine what it would be like without him."

Joy's daughter Debbie, who lives in Heath Charnock, got Bonzai as an abandoned two-week-old puppy when she was living in Spain.

She called him Bonzai, after being told he wouldn't grow to be very big – he's now six stone! Joy said they should have called him Lucky as it's not the first time Bonzai has been on the operating table.

Earlier this year he got a stick impaled through his tongue after leaping to catch it mid-air.

Joy said: "He's a real survivor. I can't believe he's had yet another episode.

"He's just had a check-up. He's on medication for his liver for another month and then they'll do another blood test to check it's functioning properly. So fingers crossed, it works out."

Joy, who has now bought Bonzai some harder toys, warns other dog owners to keep an eye on their pet's soft toys.

Saturday, 21 November 2009

It’s a robbery


Drunk driver calls cops to report marijuana theft

Oregon police have charged a man with drunk driving after he called police to report that his marijuana had been stolen.

Calvin Hoover, 21, told dispatchers early on Tuesday that someone had broken into his truck and stolen cash, a jacket and a small amount of marijuana while he was at a tavern.

He called police again to complain they had not arrived, but the dispatcher had trouble understanding Hoover - because he was driving and stopping occasionally to vomit.

Friday, 20 November 2009

A Lorry Load Of…..

Strippers-on-a-truck promotion halted…….

Live strippers on the back of a truck is too much - even for Sin City.

A Las Vegas strip club has agreed to stop an advertising promotion in which it hauled bikini-clad exotic dancers around in a truck with clear plastic sides. Marketing Director Larry Beard of Deja Vu Showgirls says he's taking his lawyer's advice and parking the truck.

Beard had said earlier this week that he was prepared to fight county leaders and others who thought the moving truck promotion was unseemly or unsafe.

The truck rolled along the Las Vegas Strip from 10 p.m. until 2 a.m. trying to lure customers to the club.

Three sides had untinted windows, offering views of the strippers dancing around a stripper pole.

Thursday, 19 November 2009

One For The Road?

Drink-driving couple caught three times

A Port Melbourne (Australia) couple have both been booked for drink driving this morning after allegedly being caught three times.

Police say a 37-year-old man blew 0.129 in Montague Street shortly after midnight.

Police say his female companion returned a reading of 0.112 after she was found at the wheel when the car was pulled over a second time in the same street just over an hour later.

Police say they picked the couple up a third time in Montague street about 3:00am

Wednesday, 18 November 2009

It’s a Steal!!

Man steals car to get to car-theft court appearance

A man stole a car so that he could get to a court appearance on a previous charge of stealing a car, according to authorities in California.

California Highway Patrol investigator Chris Linehan says he arrested Samuel Botchvaroff last Tuesday as he sat inside a stolen 2000 Range Rover at the courthouse in Vallejo.

The 24-year-old Botchvaroff had just left his arraignment on auto theft charges stemming from an arrest on October 31.

Linehan said the Range Rover's LoJack vehicle tracking system helped him locate it, which had been stolen from Oakland earlier that morning.

Authorities say Botchvaroff told officers his car had been impounded, and he had no other way to get to his arraignment.

He was booked into Solano County Jail on suspicion of auto theft and possession of stolen property.

Tuesday, 17 November 2009

A Lion’s Tale!

Scary steal

A German thief accidentally stole a truck with a circus lion in the back.

A German thief accidentally stole a truck with a circus lion in the back.

The vehicle had been parked at a carnival in Wuppertal when it was taken whilst the dangerous live animal sat in the freight.

However, the truck had no advertising or indication it contained a lion and the thief had a fright when he realised five-year-old carnivore Caesar was inside.

After making the discovery, the unsuccessful robber crashed the truck into a traffic sign and ran for his life.

Caesar's owners, Circus Probst were reunited with their dangerous act attraction after calling police to warn them.

Monday, 16 November 2009

It’s Raining Money

French cash stunt scrapped as huge crowd gathers

An Internet company that planned to throw envelopes of cash to passers-by from the top of a bus in Paris had to cancel the publicity stunt for security reasons after thousands of people turned up, police said on Saturday.

About 5,000 people gathered near the Eiffel Tower, with groups spilling into neighbouring streets and bursting through crowd barriers before the planned handout of banknotes by the online marketing company

"Given the serious traffic problems noted in the Champ de Mars area and significant crowd movements, the police requested the organisers not to go ahead with this distribution of money," a police spokesman said.

Some people had waited for hours for the cash handout, which had been heavily promoted beforehand and the cancellation triggered ugly scenes with shop windows smashed and at least one car overturned.

Police in riot gear were called in and there were around 10 arrests.

"We couldn't anticipate that there would be so many people," Stephane Boukris, a spokesman for the organisers told France Info radio.

……….Typically French……..Always want a free handout…….

Sunday, 15 November 2009

Big Mac

Man phones 911 over McDonald's order

A man has been fined after calling 911 over his McDonald's order.

Raibin Raof Osman phoned police when McDonald's drive-through staff forgot to include a carton of orange juice with his meal, The AP reports.

The Oregon restaurant's staff later called officers to report that Osman and his friends were blocking the lane, knocking on the windows and intimidating employees.

When deputies tried to explain to Osman that they are not responsible for such problems, he insisted that he had a legal right to call police. He was later taken to jail.

He has now pleaded guilty to improper use of 911 and must pay a $300 (£180) fine.

Saturday, 14 November 2009

Store Those Apples

Best way to store apples

Most of our apples went bad when we stored them last year. What is the best way to make sure they last? And which varieties store best?

The first rule is to store only perfect fruit. The tiniest wasp hole, even a pinprick, is enough to cause rotting. Any bruising is also fatal and it is particularly important to store fruit when it is completely dry.

Rain or dew on the skin should be carefully dried off or gather your fruit on a breezy, dry day. All apples must be handled gently and any that are dropped or knocked, should be put aside for quick consumption.
I think it is worth wrapping individual fruits in newspaper and storing these in large boxes or trays in the dark in the coolest spot available. Examine them from time to time, removing any that show signs of rotting and make sure pests such as mice can’t get at them.

Mid-season and late varieties tend to store more easily than earlier ones. ‘Bramley’s Seedling’ are among the best cookers, for keeping, but I used to grow ‘Blenheim Orange’ for late harvest and excellent keeping qualities.

Among dessert varieties, I like ‘Egremont Russet’ which tastes sweet and wholesome, even when wrinkled. ‘James Grieve’, as a dual purpose fruit also stores. ‘Spartan’ is sweet and crunchy and stores moderately.

Friday, 13 November 2009

It’s all a Game!

Judge 'accepts Nintendo Wii as bail'

A judge has confiscated a Nintendo Wii belonging to a 12-year-old boy as part of his bail conditions.

In the past nine months, the boy has been charged with vandalism, assault and breaching court orders, Sun Media reports.

Judge Marvin Garfinkle has granted the boy bail, but he must continue to live with his grandmother, appear at all court dates, keep the peace and participate in a bail management programme.

"He is pledging as a security, akin to a cash deposit, his Nintendo Wii. If he doesn't comply, he loses it," the judge said.

………It had to happen sometime!!

Thursday, 12 November 2009

One For The Album

Man provides photo for his own wanted poster

A man on the run from police sent a picture of himself to his local paper because he disliked the mugshot they had printed of him as part of a public appeal to track him down.

South Wales Police had issued media with the photo of Matthew Maynard, wanted by officers investigating a house burglary, as part of a crackdown on crime in Swansea.

When it appeared in the South Wales Evening Post, the 23-year-old sent the newspaper a replacement photo of himself standing in front of a police van. They obligingly printed it on the front page.

The police thanked him for helping them in their appeal, saying: "Everyone in Swansea will know what he looks like now."

…………..He’s so vain……….

Wednesday, 11 November 2009

A Dead End

Wal-Mart starts selling coffins online

Wal-Mart has started selling a range of coffins and urns on its website.

The US supermarket offers 14 different coffins at cheaper prices than many funeral homes, Sky News reports.

The 'Dad Remembered' steel coffin costs $895 (£541), while the 'Sienna Bronze' option is priced at $2,899 (£1,754).

The caskets are delivered within 48 hours and the website also offers consumers a range of urns.

However, Pat Lynch, president-elect of the National Funeral Home Directors Association, claimed that the prices aren't much cheaper than those at funeral homes.

He added that customers would miss the personal touch of a funeral director if they ordered coffins online.

"There's no question in my mind as a funeral director for more than 40 years that the most critical element is the human contact," he said.

Tuesday, 10 November 2009

‘Jack in a Box’

Bridegroom arrives at wedding in coffin

Bridegroom Pat Vincent marked the end of his bachelor days by arriving at his wedding in a coffin.

Then, after the tying the knot with Jacqueline Brick, the 44-year-old popped back inside his wooden box and was carried by train to the reception in Deptford, south-east London.

'It was brilliant,' he said.

……………..I hope he kept the box!

Monday, 9 November 2009

What A Knob!!!

Supermarket shoplifter who stuffed sausage in his shorts arrested

A man has been arrested after being spotted stuffing sausages in his shorts in a supermarket aisle.

The 38-year-old man was found in a local supermarket in Cairns, Australia. He had successfully stuffed his shorts with sausages and his pockets with other items and was trying to walk out the door unnoticed.

Unfortunately the supermarket workers noted that something was up and called the police on him.

He was arrested after his trousers were searched and the sausages were confiscated. Managers at the supermarket were keen to communicate to the public that the items had not been returned for sale.

The man appears to have been fairly unlucky as staff at the store are notoriously non-security conscious. In July shoplifters casually pushed trolley-loads of supplies out the door for two days in a row and weren't stopped.

Sunday, 8 November 2009

Sort That Lawn

Lawn care is one of the dullest and most dispiriting things we have to do in the garden.

I know there are those – men mostly – who take vigorous pride in their perfect green sward, but most of us find the whole lawn business, from mowing through to scarifying, a real drag.

However, now is the time of year to get on with it and you will be rewarded in horticultural heaven.

First, rake to get rid of the surface thatch and debris. This is autumn so the debris in the form of falling leaves will keep on coming for a few weeks – so keep on raking. It is very good exercise so you can feel doubly virtuous while you are doing it.

Aeration also helps so dig in a fork all over the lawn to make holes right across its surface.

Then, for the real lawn enthusiast, now is the time to top dress the lawn. This involves spreading a mixture of good loam and sand across the area and brushing it in. It will improve the drainage and the vigour of the grass. It also helps to fill in minor hollows.

There are those who douse their lawns with weed-killers, but I don’t do that. I would rather have weeds.

However, I do dig out plantains and dandelions and repair the bare patches they leave behind at this time of year.

I can’t pretend I do it with much enthusiasm, but it all helps.

The invasive ground cover weeds like clover and selfheal – Prunella vulgaris – with its dark green leaves and purple flowers, I ignore.

Only a serious digging-over or a liberal application of poison would get rid of them and in my view, life is too short.

Almost more annoying than the weeds are the conspicuous grasses which grow faster and more coarsely than the rest and make the lawn look untidy just a couple of days after mowing.

A lawn weed-killer won’t touch them either because it will only knock out the broad leaved weeds.

Make your own decisions on these matters. It is your lawn and if you can live with its eccentricities, that is fine.

As long as there is plenty of green growth – whether weed or grass – then mowing it and trimming the edges will make it look pretty smart – particularly from a few feet away.

Autumn is also the time to feed the lawn with a balanced fertiliser.

In spring you use a nitrogen-rich feed but now you must use an autumn product designed to take the lawn into winter.

Damage repair works well at this time of year as the ground is warm enough for grass seed to take well.

And try to enjoy it. At least the warm autumn weather is helping to make hard labour a pleasure.

Saturday, 7 November 2009

Not a leg to stand on!

Calf walks again on false legs

A calf who lost her two back hooves to frostbite is back frolicking in the fields of New Mexico - thanks to a pair of prosthetic limbs.


The calf, named Meadow, was found a few months ago by rancher Nancy Dickenson and her stepdaughter, Martha. She had lost both her rear hooves and half of her ears to severe frostbite. Having experience of rescuing animals, the Dickensons bought Meadow from her owner, and set about getting her back on her feet.

They persuaded veterinarians and students at Colorado State University to help her - and they obliged, amputating part of her hind legs and fitting her with prosthetics.

Dr. Robert Callan of Colorado State said he thought this was the first time a bovine calf has been given double prosthetics - the procedure is rarely carried out on animals which are generally destined for the slaughterhouse.

Not that Meadow is likely to end up on anybody's dinner plate soon - Nancy Dickenson said: 'A few people have asked "Is she going to be beef?" and I said "Are you kidding? This is my newest baby."'

Friday, 6 November 2009

Dancing Queen

Buttock-rubbing drink-driver tries to dance with cop

A woman has found out the hard way that, if you've been pulled over for drink-driving, trying to dance with the police officer and rubbing your buttocks on his leg won't actually stop him arresting you.

The woman's problems began when she pulled up close to where the excellently-named Sheriff's patrol deputy Randy Grob was doing some paperwork, in a church car park in Bayou George, Florida. The woman, whose eyes were red and weeping, rolled down her window and offered to survey Grob's home, and any other property he owned.

She then backed out into the road, forcing the traffic to stop, and drove off. Grob chased after her, and pulled her over. At this point, the woman told Grob that she 'knew what he needed', and promptly gave him a menu from a steak house.

Grob then spotted a pint bottle of vodka on the car's passenger seat, and a wine glass on the floor.

As other deputies arrived on the scene, the woman - identified as Verleen Anglin of Panama City - got out of the car and 'skipped' towards them.

Asked to stand on one leg as part of a sobriety test, the woman instead tried to dance with the officer. Grob wrote in his report that she 'began to 'dance with the stars,' grabbed me and twirled herself several times and attempted to rub on my legs using her butt.'

She was arrested, and charged with DUI.

Thursday, 5 November 2009

Even More Bumper Stickers

“I may be a cold hearted and an unloving bitch, but I'm damn good at it”
“How am I driving? Call 1800-KISS-MY-ASS”
“I'm not an alcoholic, Alcoholics go to meetings, I am a drunk!”
“Don’t laugh at my ride, your daughter may be in it!”
“Horn broke watch for finger”
“I'm not psychotic, I can’t read your mind.”
“Keep staring I might do a trick.”
“Chicks dig my ride.”
“I found Jesus... he was behind the coach the whole time.”
“I didn't sell my soul to Satan...... but we did work out a rent to own deal.”
“Dyslexic satan worshipers think they're worshipping Santa.”
“I haven't been the same since that house fell on my sister.”
“I smile because I have no Idea what’s going on.”
“Guys: just because you have one, doesn't mean you have to be one.”
“STOP FOLLOWING ME, I don't know where I'm going.”

“It takes a bitch like me to love a bastard like him.”
“If god wanted people to be queer he would have created Adam and Steve.”
“Ass, gas or grass no one rides for free.”
“Safe Sex Sucks So Screw Someone Special.”
“If you're gonna ride my ass, could you at least pull my hair!?”
“Let go of my ears, I know what I'm doin!”
“Who Lit the Fuse on YOUR Tampon??”
“Maybe you could driver better if that phone was up your ass?”

Wednesday, 4 November 2009

It’s A Gamble

Bulgarians playing Russian road roulette?

Bulgarian prosecutors are investigating a new gambling game in which drivers defy death by speeding through red lights for bets of up to 5,000 euros ($7,400), the chief prosecutor's office said Thursday.

Known as 'Russian road roulette', the driver must jump red lights at busy intersections at high speed and not crash into any other cars or pedestrians, according to local media reports. Onlookers also gamble on the result.

Prosecutors launched their investigation after media reported the new game had been held at night at busy crossroads in Sofia since the summer.

In June, two people died after a motorcyclist crashed into an onlooker at a similar rally on Sofia's ring road.

"Every time we receive a signal for such an unregulated race, we send patrols," Commissioner Vanio Stoevski, head of the Sofia Road Police, told Reuters. Since the deaths in June, police have monitored roads where such races are typically held.

Local media report that participants in the 'Russian road roulette' are informed via text messages of the venue for that particular night -- depending on the presence of police.

Tuesday, 3 November 2009

Get A Life

Man 'sells biggest rubber band ball'

The maker of the largest rubber band ball in the world has sold the 25-foot wide creation to the franchise that inspired it.

Joel Waul, of Lauderhill, Florida, spent five years putting the ball together after he saw an episode of Ripley's Believe It or Not! on April 10, 2004, The Miami Herald reports.

Waul said: "Right then, on the spot. I started."

The 28-year-old has now sold the ball to Ripley's a year after it was recognised as being the largest in existence by the Guinness Book of World Records.

However, the ball will temporarily be kept in Orlando as it is too large to feature in a permanent exhibition.

Edward Meyer, vice president of exhibits and archives for Ripley's, said: "We can't roll it through the door."

Sunday, 1 November 2009

Penis Envy!!

Is this the foot-long preserved penis of Rasputin?

This is the somewhat disturbing prize specimen in Russia's first ever museum of sex and erotica - the preserved 12inch penis of legendary lover and mystic Grigori Rasputin.

Or at least, that's what the owner of the museum claims. Then again, he's also previously claimed that simply viewing the penis can cure men of impotency, when frankly we think it's more likely to put them off sex for quite some time.

The erotica exhibition in St. Petersburg hosts a variety of sculptures and paintings - but the main attraction is the alleged 30 centimetre penis, preserved in a jar, looking unsettlingly like a Graboid from the film Tremors.

This is not the first time that people have claimed to be in posession of Rasputin's severed member, which has reared its implausible head many times over the decades since his murder in 1916. No putative penis has ever been proven to be Rasputin's, however.

Museum founder Igor Knyazkin has previously boasted of his prized possession: 'Having this exhibit, we can stop envying America, where Napoleon Bonaparte's reproductive organ is now kept.

'Napoleon's penis is but a small 'pod' - it cannot stand comparison to our organ of 30 centimeters.'

The veracity of Napoleon's severed penis is also unconfirmed, although a shrivelled item said to be the French leader's ex-phallus was sold to an American urologist at auction in 1977.