Saturday 27 February 2010

This Is For Real!!!!

Hot dog 'must be redesigned to reduce choking hazard'

The respected American Academy of Paediatrics is calling for sweeping changes in the way hot dogs are designed and labelled to minimise the chances of youngsters dying.

Every year food-related choking kills up to 77 children in the US and up to 15,000 more are treated in emergency rooms.

About 17 per cent of the food-related chokings are caused by hot dogs, according to a report by the academy.

It wants to see the shape of hot dogs "redesigned" to stop them lodging in children's throats.

The academy said: "Food manufacturers should design new foods, and redesign existing foods, including meat products, to avoid shapes, sizes, texture and other characteristics that increase choking risk to children."

Lead report author Gary Smith, director of the Center for Injury Research and Policy at Nationwide Children's Hospital in Columbus, Ohio, told USA Today: "If you were to take the best engineers in the world and try to design the perfect plug for a child's airway, it would be a hot dog." "I'm a paediatric emergency doctor, and to try to get them out once they're wedged in, it's almost impossible." The academy also said other high-risk foods including raw carrots, grapes and apples, should be cut into pea-sized pieces for small children. Other risky foods included marshmallows and peanut butter which could form a "tenacious seal" in a child's airway.

US federal law requires choking warning labels on certain toys including small balls, balloons and games with small parts.

Unless food makers voluntarily put more warning labels on high-risk foods, there should be a similar mandate for food, the academy said.

……….Have these people nothing better to do???? Let’s start labelling fruit or perhaps water, if you drink too quickly!!!!……..What a fucking dreadful society we now have to live in!!!!!

Friday 26 February 2010

Gnome Alone

Gnome poster removed before Medvedev visit?

Theater posters proclaiming "We await you, merry gnome" were taken down from a Russian town shortly before a visit by the country's diminutive President Dmitry Medvedev, a local website reported on Friday.

The advertisements were for a children's theater show, but were removed from a street that the president's convoy was due to use on his visit to Omsk on February 12, the website reports, citing local sources.

Russian media say Medvedev is 5 feet, 4 inches tall.

The poster depicted a child fairy but was one of a number of sudden renovation projects that took place ahead of the Medvedev's visit, it reported, quoting bloggers and journalists.

The authorities recommended that fresh snow should be sprinkled over older dirty snow as part of the facelift, it said.

……….I do hope Sarky doesn’t hear about this!!!!

Wednesday 24 February 2010

A Name To Far!

Risque bridge regains original Tickle Cock name

A bridge which was renamed by a politically correct council has regained its original Victorian name of Tickle Cock Bridge.

When the bridge was part of a recent regeneration scheme, council bosses tried to change the potentially smutty name from Tickle Cock to Tittle Cott.

They even erected a plaque baring the new name - but locals were not going to take it lying down and mounted a campaign to restore the glory of Tickle Cock.

Residents said the risque name was part of their local history and dated back to the late 19th century... and many of them had good memories.

Wakefield district council have now agreed to revert to using the original name and provided a replacement plaque. Which will no doubt get stolen and placed in a teenage boy's bedroom.

Tuesday 23 February 2010

A Trip Out!

Escaped hippo returns home

n the end, the zoo keeper was right. The 2-ton hippo that escaped from a zoo in Montenegro has returned home, without hurting anyone.

Some officials said Nikica should be shot and killed when it escaped from a zoo on a small island in a lake, and entered a nearby residential area.

Flooding had allowed the animal to swim over the cage surrounding its pen, and hippos are considered one of the world's most dangerous species.

But Dragan Pejovic, the owner of the private zoo, said Nikica was being monitored and returning to the island from time to time to eat bread and hay.

On Wednesday, 9 days after its escape, Nikica walked through the open door of its gate and returned to its pen.

Pejovic says he is happy his hippo didn't attack anyone while it was away.

Monday 22 February 2010

For The High Jump

'Rabbit jumping' club launches in UK

A woman has launched what is claimed to be the UK's first ever rabbit jumping club.

Retired office worker and rabbit breeder Maureen Hoyle of Huddersfield, West Yorkshire was inspired to set up Rabbit Jumping UK after a visit to Sweden, The Seferm Post reports.

Hoyle said: "The rabbits love it. The rabbits are very agile and a lot of people are surprised by what they can do. The rabbits have to clear the jump without touching it.

"In more serious competitions the obstacle has a delicately balanced weight at the top which will fall if the rabbit makes contact. That will add a penalty to the rabbit's total time."

The competition is reportedly popular in Scandinavia, with world champions able to leap heights of up to three feet.

Sunday 21 February 2010

Tee Up!!!

Dog swallows 13 golf balls

A Pet pooch stunned vets when they found he had eaten a total of 13 golf balls.

Owner, Chris Morrison, who walks Oscar the black labrador around his local golf course, became concerned when he could hear a rattling noise from the dog's stomach.

Concerned about Oscar's health, he took the five-year-old pooch to the vet and both parties were amazed when they discovered the source of the rattling.

When Oscar was operated on, his vet found a total of 13 golf balls inside him that the swallowed during his golfcourse walks.

Thursday 18 February 2010

Sock It To Me!!

Novelty sock ban for paramedics

Ambulance chiefs are threatening to sack paramedics if they insist on wearing novelty socks.

Uniformed staff have been barred from wearing socks with images of cartoon characters, jokes and garish patterns after bosses branded them "unprofessional".

North West Ambulance Service's new uniform policy also bans wrist watches, visible body piercing, excessive make-up and certain tattoos.
Staff have been warned they could be disciplined and ultimately even sacked if they flout the dress code which forms part of their terms of employment.

However, the move have been condemned by critics who have dismissed the novelty sock ban as a step too far, reports the Daily Telegraph.

Jonathan Fox, a spokesman for the Association of Professional Ambulance Personnel, said: "I am a firm believer in having a dress code but this is stretching the rules too far. The majority of staff wear boots so their socks can't even be seen.

"North West Ambulance Service should be addressing more important issues like why paramedic training has been stalled for months."

"To concentrate on socks seems fairly innocuous - it's not like there's been an epidemic of novelty sock wearing! Perhaps this is just something to divert our attention from the bigger issues."

Jon Lenney, NW Ambulance Service Director of Organisational Development, said: "We would expect our staff to wear uniforms provided and do not feel that novelty socks with slogans and images are appropriate for presenting a professional image to patients and members of the public.

"The trust does provide full uniform, including plain dark socks, and as the role of frontline staff requires physical movement socks can be visible."

Tuesday 16 February 2010

Write It Down!

Student arrested for doodling on school desk

A New York City junior high student has been arrested for doodling on her desk with a marker.

Twelve-year-old Alexa Gonzalez scribbled “Lex was here 2/1/10“ on her desk Monday at Junior High School 190 in Queens. She also wrote “I love my friends Abby and Faith.” The girl says the doodles could have been erased.

Moraima Camacho says her daughter was released several hours after she was taken in handcuffs to a police station.

Education department spokesman David Cantor said the incident shouldn’t have happened, and that common sense should prevail.

Last month, the New York Civil Liberties Union filed a lawsuit alleging more than 20 instances of wrongful arrests and assaults by school safety officers.

Gonzalez has been assigned eight hours of community service, a book report and an essay on what she’s learned from the experience.

Monday 15 February 2010

Tanked Up!!

Man leaves tank outside Manchester pub

A tank has been left outside a Manchester pub by an unknown driver.

According to the South Manchester Reporter, the vehicle was moved outside the Four In Hand establishment in West Didsbury before Christmas.

Landlord Martin Devlin, 45, said: "It's a bit of a mystery. This guy came in a couple of months ago and asked if he could park it here.

"Apparently he used to park it on Lapwing Lane but the residents complained and then he had it at another pub but their car park was a bit small, so we said he could leave it here."

He added: "He comes in sometimes, but he hasn’t been in since before Christmas and I don’t know what he's called.

"It's definitely a bit unusual to have a tank in your car park, but I just tell everyone that my wife's learning to drive again!"

His 41-year-old wife and fellow landlord Jane added: "I can drive but I'm really bad at it, so I tell people it's my new car and they'd better watch out!

"I think the guy who owns it uses it for stag dos. But we often get people coming to have their picture taken next to it."

Sunday 14 February 2010

Dog Gone

Man charged for operating on his own dog

A man who says he couldn't afford medical care for his dog has been charged with illegally operating on the pet.

Alan MacQuattie recently removed a cyst from the leg of his 14-year-old dog. The dog was operated on again by professionals to deal with an infection from the first surgery.

Veterinarian E.J. Finocchio, president of the Rhode Island Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Animals, calls the surgery a "heinous crime."

Court records show MacQuattie pleaded no contest last week to misdemeanour charges of animal cruelty and unauthorized practice of veterinary medicine.

He told television station WPRI, which first reported on the surgery, that he didn't think there was anything cruel about what he had done.

………….could the real reason be that the vets were not paid a large fee!!!!

Saturday 13 February 2010

Bottle It!!

Man stuffed 75 bottles of lotion in his pants

SPRINGFIELD, Mass. - Police say a man who stuffed 75 bottles of body lotion in his pants couldn't slip away from authorities, hampered by slacks that were nearly bursting at the seams.

Springfield police say 30-year-old Chamil Guadarrama was charged with larceny after the incident Wednesday night at Bath and Body Works in the Eastfield Mall.

Police say mall security officers chased Guadarrama, but he had stuffed so many of the eight-ounce(225-gram)lotion containers in his pants that he could barely run. Police say he could not bend over to get in the police car until some of the bottles were removed.

Friday 12 February 2010

Monkey Business

Monkey spotted roaming Darwin streets

A monkey has been sighted roaming the streets of Darwin's northern suburbs.

The Northern Territory environment department said the monkey was spotted earlier today.

"A bus driver and other witnesses spotted the monkey at 9.45am this morning in front of a bus that was travelling on Henbury Avenue near the Lyons Estate," the department said in a media release.

They have warned people to stay clear of the animal.

"Monkeys can be aggressive and bite," the department said.

"It's not known where the monkey has come from therefore as a public health and safety precaution we urge all members of the public to be cautious."

The department said monkeys are a restricted species in the Northern Territory and can only be kept with the relevant permits.

Parks and Wildlife director Graham Phelps says the monkey was probably brought to the Northern Territory illegally.

"Any monkey that's in the Northern Territory should legally have a permit and we'd know where it is and whose it is," he said.

"The only institution in the Territory that's got a permit to hold monkeys is Crocodylus Park and they've assured us that they've got all their monkeys at the moment so no, we don't know where this one's come from."

Thursday 11 February 2010

Watch The Birdy!

Town under attack

A British town have found themselves under attack by a wild pheasant.

Residents in Newsham, North Yorkshire, have been harassed for the past month by a fearless bird which chases local people and their pets, and even lies in wait for children to get off the school bus.

Kate Collingwood, a local resident said: "It frequents our garden. Whereas most of them will fly away, this one comes right at you."

The aggressive male bird has a long list of victims, one being resident Sonia Hall, who was terrorised by the bird while walking with her two-year-old grandson Jacob.

The pheasant flew at her legs and pecked until it drew blood.

Her son Charles said: "She was really shaken up by it."
Lyndsey Waddell, chairman of the National Gamekeepers Organisations said the pheasant would need to be humanely captured and sent elsewhere.

Tuesday 9 February 2010

Burger It!!

Camel burger newest "healthy" option on Dubai menu

A traditional Emirati restaurant in Dubai has added a new entree to its menu billed as a fat-free choice for carnivorous but health-conscious diners: the Camel Burger.

For 20 UAE dirhams ($5.45), the Local House restaurant offers a quarter pound camel burger, loaded with cheese and smothered in burger sauce, the Xpress weekly newspaper reported on Thursday.

Ali Ahmad Esmail, Local House assistant manager, told the paper that the burger patties were fat- and cholesterol-free. But he declined to say how the outlet tenderized the tough camel meat.

"It's a trade secret," he said.

Camel meat is widely eaten in some Arab countries, but is not typically sold in supermarkets or served in restaurants.

The paper reported that Local House said it was the first to introduce the burger in the United Arab Emirates. A fast food outlet in neighboring Saudi Arabia put baby camel burgers on its menu last year.

The camel burger, a hit with residents and tourists, could soon also be on offer in the Burj Khalifa, the world's tallest tower formerly known as Burj Dubai, where Local House may open a branch, the paper said.

The burger is served with fries or potato wedges, and the paper suggested it could be washed down with a soft drink or a camel milkshake, also available in Dubai.

Monday 8 February 2010


Should flags be banned at rock festivals?

Organisers of Glastonbury Festival, the world's biggest green field arts and music event, launched a survey on Thursday to see whether flags should be banned from the main stage at this year's event.

Fans are being asked to take part in an online vote on the festival's website ( ) to decide whether to outlaw banners following complaints that they spoil the view for some of the crowd.

"The topic of whether flags should be banned from in front of the Pyramid Stage at the festival seems to have been cropping up a bit recently," organisers said on the website.

"Our gut feeling here at festival HQ is that they shouldn't be banned, as we think they add to the magic of a big Pyramid stage performance."

According to the latest votes, 60 percent of respondents backed keeping flags and 40 percent thought they should be banned. However, if multiple votes were recorded, then the vote was almost equal, with a tiny majority favouring a ban.

This year will be the 40th anniversary of the festival, which takes place on a farm in southwest England and attracts some 150,000 revellers, with Irish rock band U2 lined up to headline the event.

Sunday 7 February 2010

Tits Up!!!!!

Officials want to ban 'festival of boobs'

Authorities in a German town have moved to ban what would be its first topless sledging tournament.

Local councillors in Oberwiesenthal have suggested that the event will have a negative affect on the ski resort's image, Metro reports.

Mayor Mirko Ernst said: "No-one has anything against the traditional annual sledging events.

"But the vast majority of residents oppose the topless sledging idea. The good reputation of our town would suffer."

Organiser Jochen Noeske said: "I want our tournament to be a mega festival of boobs.

"I hope they don't ban us - but if they do, we'll take the competition over the border to the Czech Republic where they are not so stuffy."

Saturday 6 February 2010

Buffalo Bill

Affair couple fined four buffaloes

A Malaysian court has found two lovers guilty of having an illicit affair - and ordered them to pay a fine of four buffaloes and a pig.

The Star newspaper says the Native Court in Penampang district on Borneo island ruled on Friday that the man and woman must compensate their communities with the animals, valued at about 6,000 ringgit (around £1,100), for their tryst.

They were also fined 1,000 ringgit (£184) each.

The man's wife filed a complaint last year after finding her husband in shorts and her colleague in a sarong at the man's second home. The court rejected their claim that they were just 'best friends.'

Friday 5 February 2010

Was It To Go?

Man arrested for taco dispute

A US man spent a day in prison after throwing a taco at a restaurant manager.

Warren Strickland lobbed his double-decker meaty snack at a Taco Bell manager in Fairbanks, Alaska, after claiming it had been filled with spit.

The 31-year-old diner - who pleaded guilty to disorderly conduct - told a court he threw the food at the manager because the staff at the drive-thru messed up his order twice.

He said he became annoyed after the manager accused him of lying to get a free meal.

As well as the prison sentence, Strickland has also been ordered to pay a $100 fine and has been put on a year-long probation. During this 12 month period, he is also banned from visiting any Taco Bell eateries.

Thursday 4 February 2010

Don’t Forget Your Glasses

'Caligula' director announces 3D porn film

Caligula director Tinto Brass has announced plans to direct a 3D porn movie.

The Italian erotic filmmaker revealed that he will start work on casting and the script straight away with a view to beginning production in May or June, says The Hollywood Reporter.

Brass's 1979 Rome-set film Caligula, starring Malcolm McDowell, Peter O'Toole and Helen Mirren, featured hard-core sex scenes that were inserted later without his consent.

The 76-year-old noted that his new production would "revisit an abandoned project about a Roman emperor that was ruined by Americans, and go from there".

Wednesday 3 February 2010

It’s Chilli!!

Trucker blames Wendy's chili for crash

LOWELL, Mass. (AP) — Police say a lumber truck crashed into a Massachusetts home after the driver was knocked unconscious when he choked on chili from Wendy’s.

Lowell police say Eric Gremm reported that he choked on the chili when the truck hit a bump, causing him to pass out. The flatbed truck veered off the road and slammed into the foundation of the home.

The 59-year-old Tyngsboro resident was taken by ambulance to a local hospital for treatment of minor injuries.

Police say he could be cited for eating while driving.

Tuesday 2 February 2010

Hogging It!!!

PETA wants animatronic groundhog

People For The Ethical Treatment of Animals (PETA) has called on authorities in Punxsutawney, Pennsylvania to replace Phil the groundhog with a robotic replica.

As part of the annual Groundhog Day tradition, if Punxsutawney Phil seemingly sees his shadow on February 2, there will be six more weeks of winter. If he does not, spring will come early, the St Petersberg Times reports.

Writing on an official PETA blog, Logan Scherer suggested "retiring Phil to a sanctuary and replacing him with an electronic groundhog".

"Phil is forced to be on display year round at the local library and is denied the ability to prepare for and enter yearly hibernation," he added. "Add to that the displeasure of large, screaming crowds, flashing lights of cameras, and human handling."

Bill Deeley of the Punxsutawney Groundhog Club replied: "I mean, come on, this is just crazy. Phil is being treated better than the average child in Pennsylvania.