What A Surprise!!

CIA Spied on Its US Investigators

Aside from spying on foreign politicians, it looks like the CIA was also snooping on members of the Senate Intelligence Committee who had been sent to investigate its own antics. As a result, the Committee Chairman Dianne Feinstein became furious and accused the CIA of breaking laws and breaching constitutional principles. She claimed the CIA undermined her multi-year investigation of a controversial torture program.

Dianne Feinstein claimed that the agency secretly removed documents, searched PCs used by the committee and tried to intimidate congressional investigators by forcing the FBI to arrest them.All this is happening after the Senate Intelligence Committee nears completion of a 6,000-page report expected to become a scathing historical record of the CIA use of waterboarding and other brutal interrogation methods on terrorism suspects after the 9/11.

Dianne Feinstein promised to soon deliver the report to the White House and push for declassification of a document which would lay bare the horrible details of the CIA program. In the meantime, the agency and the Committee are at odds over the conclusions about the effectiveness of the program and the way the investigation was handled.

So, the CIA set up a secret facility with computers where Committee investigators were offered unhampered access to operational cables, executive memos and other data on the interrogation program.But there was a row over whether CIA or Committee sabotaged the latter’s efforts from the outset, loading a massive amount of files on PCs with no index, structure or ability to search.

It took years for investigators to pore over 6.2 million classified records furnished by the CIA, but the agency suddenly claimed the Committee somehow gained access to data that the CIA never intended to share – in other words, they managed to hack the CIA.

In response, the Committee was careful not to say precisely how those documents were obtained – by the CIA or by a whistle-blower. As a result, the CIA seems very upset that its plan to hamper the investigation by dumping lots of paperwork on the Committee failed thank to some whistle-blower,who simply revealed important information. So, the CIA referred the matter to the Department of Justice and accused the Committee of spying on the US. Surveillance is all around.

Find The Plane!!

Technology to Find Missing Plane Does Exist

Apparently, the technology assuming that planes can’t just “drop off the radar” like Malaysia Airlines Flight 370 does exist. However, the airlines decided it was too expensive for them. Media reports confirm that technology needed to stream crucial flight data to the ground legally exists on the market, but its price is $100,000.

The matter is that commercial airliners do actually transmit some data. Radio transponders identify them while scanning by radar, and most of them are fitted with an Aircraft Communications Addressing and Reporting System (ACARS).

The latter periodically relays text-message like snippets of data about the aircraft’s status. Those transponders seem to have stopped transmitting data about Flight MH370, and the airline refused to provide any comments about ACARS signals while the incident is being investigated.

According to the computer scientist Krishna Kavi, this data can be streamed to cloud storage, in a system called the "glass box". However, transmitting information via satellites is not cheap, especially and if such a system operates continuously.

Apparently, it would cost billions to implement flight data streaming across the airline industry.

However, most of the information is based on the maker of the existing black box technology L-3. The latter spun a false premise that all flight information would need to be streamed, all of the time. According to a safety and insurance director of an aviation consultancy, systems could be designed to be triggered by unusual flight events, and only after this start streaming flight information.

These devices already exist on the market, fitted to about 350 aircrafts run by 40 operators and they transmit information helping airlines plan maintenance and minimize fuel consumption.

The company producing the system revealed that it transmits information via Iridium satellites and can be programmed to start streaming flight data after a plane deviated from its flight plan, or there are suspicions something is going wrong.

In case an aircraft is blown out of the sky by a bomb, or if it suffers a sudden catastrophic structural failure at cruising altitude, such devices won’t be much help. However, in those rare cases, conventional black boxes are viable technology.

EU…Behind The Times!!

EU Focus on Mobile Roaming Charges Deemed Outdated

According to UK’s Everything Everywhere’s CEO, Olaf Swantee, the European Union and media focus on mobile roaming charges aboard is outdated, which means that EU is slipping behind on technology.

Indeed, charge caps are now €0.24 per minute for calls, €0.08 per text message and €0.45 per MB of data excluding VAT. Fortunately, since July they will be reduced to €0.19 per minute for calls, €0.06 per text and €0.20 per MB of data. Olaf Swantee believes that the enormous focus on roaming charges is wrong and completely outdated. He pointed out that the industry has had big issues in this field in the past, but nowadays it is much better.

EE’s CEO believes that the £3-a-day charges for roaming in the European Union using a bundle or the same data and voice allowance as in the United Kingdom were quite reasonable and could put roaming in reach of more people. The fact remains that EU used to lead mobile telecommunications in terms of networks and new technologies, but at the moment Europe is trailing both Asia and the United States. In its turn, this affects jobs, innovation, and other very important areas.

For instance, European rollout of the 4G LTE is far behind that of America and Asia, except for Britain and some northern European countries like Sweden. Over 1/4 devices in North America are connected to a 4G network, as opposed to only 2% of European devices. The United Kingdom is a happy exception, as its network is ahead of all the European networks and is only matched by South Korea and the United States. Everything Everywhere’s 4G network now covers 70% of the British population. It is rated as “poor but fast” and ranked behind those from operators in Japan, Korea, Hong Kong, Canada and Sweden.

So what is the reason? Industry observers point out that the United States started investing in 4G networking 5 years ago, but EU providers considered it much later, a far cry from the last decade where European 3G networks were well ahead of their American counterparts.

In addition, EU members were slower to sell the wireless spectrum needed to build 4G networks. Besides, the complex telecoms environment consisting of hundreds of operators across many countries makes it more difficult for the businesses to raise funds to upgrade networks. It is not a secret that lots of mobile operators in Europe are small and governed by complex regulations.

As for Everything Everywhere, it launched the first 4G service in Britain in the fall 2012, using surplus bandwidth on its network, while its rivals had to wait for an auction of spectrum. That surplus formed when Orange and T-Mobile merged their networks under the single Everything Everywhere brand, after regulatory approval 4 years ago. In the meantime, other British mobile phone operators got 4G spectrum in the 4G auction held a year ago. Since then, O2, Three and Vodafone also launched their 4G networks.

Owner Died Along With Ipad Access!!!!

Apple Refused to Unlock Dead Woman’s iPad for Her Heirs

The tech giant has refused to allow a dead woman to bequeath her iPad to her relatives. Josh Grant, 26, says that his mother Anthea bought the iPad during her cancer treatment and left it for him in her will.

Since his mother’s death, Josh couldn’t unlock the tablet, despite providing the company with copies of her will, death certificate and solicitor’s letter. Apple has refused to allow Josh access because of iPad’s security features. Ap0parently, it means that only guys who can crack or jail break the OS (which is mostly anyone) can get access to the device.
After Anthea’s death, her relatives discovered they didn’t know her Apple ID and password, and the company demanded a written consent for the device to be unlocked. It seems that Apple doesn’t realize that getting a written consent from a dead person is a bit difficult. Maybe Tim Cook speaks to Steve Jobs every morning and therefore believes it’s easy to do.
Her family have provided the death certificate, will and solicitor's letter, but Apple claimed it was still not enough. The company also demanded a court order to prove that their mother was the owner of the iPad and the iTunes account.
While Apple reassured its customers that the outfit wasn’t acting as a bureaucratic bunch of bastards, some may not believe it. The company pointed out that its security measures are meant to prevent unauthorized access to Apple users’ online iCloud accounts, which could contain personal documents, images and messages.
Nevertheless, any sane person can understand that the thieves wouldn’t be able to provide the owners death certificate and a solicitor’s letter telling them to hand over the passwords. Most thieves would just wipe the iPad and sell it – after all, 2 years passed after her death, and no thief would bother, but family members might.

Texted Up A Gumtree!!

Man texts Gumtree fraud entire works of Shakespeare

A man ripped off by a Gumtree seller has sought his revenge by texting the fraudster the entire works of Shakespeare

A graphic designer who was ripped off by an internet seller got his revenge by texting him the entire works of Shakespeare.

Edd Joseph, 24, was furious when he bought a PS3 games console on Gumtree for £80 and the vendor failed to deliver the goods.

So he decided to take his revenge by texting the entire works of the Bard to his nemesis - all 30,000 words.

Mr Joseph discovered he can simply copy the words from the internet and paste them into a text message - without costing him a penny on his unlimited mobile phone package.

He sends it as one text but his victim can only receive them in 160 character chunks - meaning the 37 works of Shakespeare will buzz through in 29,305 individual texts.

So far Mr Joseph has sent 22 plays including Hamlet, Macbeth and Othello which have been delivered in 17,424 texts.

He reckons the remaining 15 works will take another few days to send - meaning his adversary's phone will have been constantly beeping for nearly a full week.

Mr Joseph said: "I was really annoyed and I was trying to think of ways of being more in the position of power because I felt so helpless about it.

"My first thought was that I could try and pretend I had found out where he lived but it was all a bit of a cliche and it wasn't going to worry him really.

"Then it just occurred to me you can copy and paste things from the internet and into a text message. It got me thinking, 'what can I sent to him' which turned to 'what is a really long book', which ended with me sending him Macbeth."

Mr Joseph bought the console and bundle of games from a seller two weeks ago via direct bank transfer - giving him no protection when the seller failed to send the goods or provide a refund.

He complained to the police who said his chances of catching the crook were slim, and Gumtree who said bank transfers were against its terms and conditions.

Last week he found a Shakespeare play on his iPhone internet browser and then copied and pasted it into a text message with just a few presses of a button.

Despite the length of the text, he only has to press 'send' once for each play and his phone then processes them into individual texts. His unlimited texts and calls package with O2 at £37 a month means he does not have to pay excessive charges for the multiple messages.

He started sending them last Thursday and throughout the weekend - often at night to cause maximum disruption.

The average Shakespeare play - at 22,600 words - will be delivered in an annoying 792 texts to his rival's phone.

The longest play, Hamlet, took 1,143 text messages and defiant Mr Josepth has also sent Macbeth (600 texts), romance Cymbeline (847) and All's Well That Ends Well - a pleasing 861 messages.

But the graphic designer, who lives with his girlfriend in Bristol, started getting abusive replies from the seller.

"I got the first reply after an hour, and then a few more abusive messages after that," he said. "His phone must have been going off pretty constantly for hours.

"But recently he has taken to calling me and giving me abuse on the phone. I tried to ask him if he was enjoying the plays, but he was very confused.

"I'm going to keep doing it. If nothing else I'm sharing a little bit of culture with someone who probably doesn't have much experience of it.

"I'm not a literary student, and I'm not an avid fan of Shakespeare but I've got a new appreciation you could say - especially for the long ones."

An Apple A Day = No Tax!!

Apple Nicked Billions in Tax from Australia

The Australian newspapers are outraged after finding out that the tech giant managed to work out a way of avoiding giving billions to its taxman. In the meantime, the company has already been in hot water for overcharging the local citizens for its shiny toys. Now Apple seems to be refusing to pay tax in Australia.

Local media pointed out that part of the idea of a trickledown effect is that Apple should pay tax to fund such things as welfare programs, but Apple has worked out a way of avoiding paying most of the tax. The company is said to have shifted almost $9 billion in untaxed profits from its Australian operations to a tax haven structure in Ireland within the last 10 years.

For example, back in 2013, the company reported pretax earnings in Australia of only $88 million, but before that Apple sent an estimated $2 billion of income from its Australian sales to Ireland via Singapore, where it negotiated a secret tax deal 5 years ago.
The local media got a decade’s financial accounts for Apple Sales International, the secretive Irish company at the heart of Apple’s international tax arrangements. That information revealed the mark-up company charges for intellectual property on its products across the globe. It is known that it was the first time that the financial details of the scale of Apple's tax avoidance has been made public.

So, Apple Sales International has reported over $100 billion of profits in the last 5 years, while paying less than 0.05% in tax. Apple’s contempt for paying tax was the focus of a 2013 report by the US Senate's Committee on Homeland Security and Government Affairs, Permanent Subcommittee on Investigations. The report in question also pointed out to the amount of tax avoidance that the American authorities let through.

Despite the fact that the tech giant is creating worldwide revenues the size of the California state budget, it is refusing paying tax anywhere. Although the architect of its tax strategy, the chief financial officer, has announced his retirement in the US a few days ago, the company is likely to continue his course, as it is perfectly legal.

The matter is that Apple moves all cash to Ireland where it pays no tax because the company is managed and controlled in California. At the same time, Apple pays no US tax either because American legislation disregards where a company is managed and only looks at where it is legally registered. After the Irish government tried to close this "double-non-taxation" loophole, the company simply chose a tax residence with no corporate tax – Singapore, and continues to pay no tax.

A Bad Apple??

Apple Mobile Devices Vulnerable to Hack

The developers claimed that a major vulnerability in Apple software for mobile devices can enable hackers to intercept email and other communications that are supposed to be encrypted. In addition, the experts said that Mac computers are even more exposed than mobile devices.

In case hackers obtain access to a mobile user’s network, for example by sharing the same unsecured Wi-Fi service offered by a public place, they could see or alter exchanges between the user and protected websites like Gmail and Facebook. In the meantime, governments having access to telecom carrier information could do the same thing.

The tech giant didn’t reveal when or how it learned of the vulnerability in the way its operating system handles sessions in secure sockets layer or transport layer security. Apple also didn’t provide information on whether the flaw was exploited and by whom.

However, a statement on Apple support website was blunt, saying that the software “failed to validate the authenticity of the connection”. The company developers released software patches and updated the current version of iOS for iPhone 4 and later, 5th-generation iPod touches, and iPad 2 and later.

The security experts explain that without that fix, an intruder could impersonate a protected website and sit in the middle as email or financial information was going between the user and the real website. After analyzing the Apple fix, some security experts claimed that the same flaw also existed in current versions of Mac OSX, running Apple laptop and desktop PCs. The problem is that no patch is available yet for that OS, though it is expected in the nearest future.

Since spies and hackers can also study the issued patch, they could in response develop programs to take advantage of the vulnerability within days or even hours. Industry observers say that the issue was a fundamental bug in SSL implementation, and OS X was at risk.

The tech giant didn’t provide any comments on the issue. The bug was in how well-understood protocols were implemented, representing an embarrassing lapse for Apple, which was recently stung by leaked intelligence papers claiming that authorities could successfully break into any iPhone.

Walk The Plank With Google!!

The Pirate Bay Down-ranked in Google Search Results

The search engine downranks The Pirate Bay’s site in its search results for many queries. The sad thing about this is that some of those queries aren’t linked to copyright-infringing material. The weird thing is that the change affected tracker’s results via the Google.com domain, not its other mirrors like Google.ca and Google.co.uk.

Within the past few years the copyright owners have been asking the tech giant to activate its anti-piracy efforts. Now they may be happy as Google started to implement a number of new anti-piracy measures in response. For instance, Google is now filtering “piracy-related” terms from its AutoComplete and Instant services.

Entertainment industry demanded that Google downrank copyright-infringing portals and take them off the top results. Google promised to comply, but there was little evidence to back that up. The industry experts decided to find out how accessible The Pirate Bay is in Google and ran a few tests of their own. It turned out that the search engine is currently downranking the most-used torrent website, but The Pirate Bay is far from completely gone.

If you type “The Pirate Bay” or “TPB” in Google search, its address will come up as the first result. The same works for several related searches. However, the results are different for queries like “Twilight dvdrip“. For these keywords the largest BitTorrent tracker won’t show up on the first pages of the search results, but other popular torrent websites still show up.

Although these tests don’t actually prove that any downranking is going on, it seems weird that the The Pirate Bay is absent from results. The researchers decided to take unique content to The Pirate Bay and let Google search for that. As expected, The Pirate Bay didn’t show in the top results when the phrase from the site’s help section was searched on Google.com. Instead, the first result was The Pirate Bay’s proxy.

Apparently, individual tracker pages are being downranked by Google. This can be confirmed by the fact that the search results do show The Pirate Bay as the first result on other Google domains, including Google.ca and Google.co.uk, but not on Google.com. The conclusion can be made that the downranking for that phrase only happens on the .com domain.

Message Move?

 

5,000,000 New Users Moved to Another Messaging App after WhatsApp Outage

Telegram Messenger admits it had 5 million new users the day after WhatsApp outage, but would rather have a gradual organic growth, because such a massive flow caused its own downtime. While Facebook agreed to pay up to $19 billion for WhatsApp, its rivals may benefit from an influx of new users as a result.

Telegram Messenger confirmed 4.95 million people signed up for their app within one day. Telegram suddenly became #1 most downloaded iPhone app in 48 countries. This is an amazing number for an application which only had 100,000 daily active users six months ago. It seems no coincidence that the 5 million signups happened just one day after a high-profile outage for WhatsApp. However, Telegram was also not immune from technical problems over the weekend struggling to cope with the huge amount of new users. As a result, its European cluster experienced a 2-hour downtime – the developers admit that it takes time to add servers.

Telegram operators explained they expected 1 million registrations per day max, not 5 million. They would rather have a gradual organic growth, as they planned to be ready for that kind of growth in 2 months only.

The messaging app launched for iPhone last August, then Android in October. It is operated by a team based in Berlin, but its financial backer is the owner of the largest Russian social network vKontakte (InTouch), Pavel Durov.

Pavel and his brother Nikolai set out their vision for the encrypted messaging application on the website. The brothers announced that Telegram isn’t meant to bring profit, and promised the app will never sell adverts or accept outside investment. The Durovs said Telegram can never be sold either. The owners explained they are not building a new userbase, but are rather building a messenger for the people. Pavel Durov supplied Telegram with a generous donation via his Digital Fortress fund, so the developers have enough money for the time being. If they run out of that money, the app can invite its users to donate or add non-essential paid options.

It is known that Telegram app has an open API for other developers so that they could build their own apps based on its technology, including versions for Windows, Mac and Linux machines, and Windows Phone smartphones.

In the meantime, industry observers point out that Telegram isn’t the only encrypted messaging application that sees a boom in signups after WhatsApp’s acquisition by Facebook. For example, Swiss startup Threema also doubled its user base within 24 hours, with 200,000 new users paying €1.79 each for the app.

I’ll Have A Bud!!

Man charged with disorderly conduct after taking tiger into bar

A man has been charged with disorderly conduct after he entered a bar – not because he got blindingly drunk, but because he took a tiger into it.

John Basile, 57, casually took the animal for a walk into Uncle Richie’s Bar in Lockport, Illinois, on February 15 – and it apparently wasn’t the first time, reported CNN affiliate WBBM.

The tiger cub is an animal at Basile’s animal rescue centre Big Run Wolf Ranch, which is licensed by the federal government.

While some people at the bar thought the unusual addition was cute, the police thought otherwise.

‘My concern was really for the people who frequent the downtown area,’ Lockport Police Chief Terry Lemming told the affiliate.

Witness Frances Escoe said: ‘There were people in their cars shouting like, “Is that a tiger? Is that a tiger?” going over the Ninth Street Bridge.’

Basile has also been charged with reckless conduct and possession of a dangerous animal.

I Ask First!!

‘I had sex with goat ten times but I did ask it first’

A Nigerian villager has been arrested for having sex with his goat but is adamant he should be freed because he asked its permission first.

Malam Kamisu Baranda was handed over to police by the head of his village outside Dutse and has been remanded in custody, according to the Daily Times.

The 20-year-old is said to have been caught having sex with the goat ten times because they ‘satisfied his demand’.

He said he took goats into the forest near his home to ‘avoid embarrassment’ and did not know it was an offence to have sex with them.

Mr Baranda was handed a two-week prison sentence despite his pleas for leniency.

Just Desserts!!

More Money Then Sense??

Batmobile Tumbler street-legal replica goes on sale for $1 million

A street-legal replica of the Batmobile Tumbler has gone on sale online.

A version of the vehicle used in The Dark Knight is available to purchase for a mere $1 million (£599,269) on James Edition.

The creators state that the car features an LS1 motor with a custom-built frame, chassis and driveline.

It is an automatic vehicle, with four 44" swamper tires with custom rims, custom cut windows, two seats, five driver-assist cameras, a Bluetooth stereo with CD/DVD and iPod integration, and GPS.

There are only five such Tumblers in the world, the creators added.

However, it does not include any rocket launchers or other gadgets built by Wayne Enterprises and Lucius Fox.

Come And Get It!!!!

Make squirrel meal times funnier than ever with this horse head feeder

Tired of looking at squirrels when they’re eating? Why not invest in one of these novelty horse mask feeders?

We doubt it’s a problem many of us face but that hasn’t stopped one online retailer from producing the horse head squirrel feeder.

Archie McPhee has guaranteed endless laughter for anyone that invests in the vinyl 6-1/2″ x 10″ contraption, which costs $15 (£9).

‘You’ll laugh every morning as you drink your coffee while staring out the window into your backyard,’ the product description said.

Confussed Cat!!

A Good Excuse!!

Professor accidentally beams X-rated porn film on class projector

A porn-surfing professor was sacked after accidentally showing an X-rated film on a class projector.

The teacher had just finished a lecture at a business school in Zurich when he visited adult video site Pornhub.

He was caught out after forgetting to unplug the cable linking his work computer to the overhead projector, according to Swiss newspaper 20 Minutes.

While the class was empty at the time, students watching the lecture online saw the video up on the big screen.

The prof was reportedly also caught looking for pictures of naked women with no arms and legs.

School director René Portenier explained: ‘I am shocked. After the course, the teacher immediately came to me and told me he had watched porn on a school computer.

‘He was very embarrassed and could not tell me why he did it.’

Chairman Rolf Blitz said the ‘popular’ teacher had taught at the school for 40 years but added his behaviour was ‘unacceptable’.

Captain Walks The Plank!

Say Goodbye to Captain Birdseye! Foodie-favourite is demoted after 50 years on TV

HE'S been with us for decades but Captain Birdeye has now our foodie favourite has been laid to rest.

The Frozen Food face of Fish Fingers for nearly 50 years has been demoted in a £16m shake-up of the brand.

The happy choppy will be replaced by a photogenic TV family to appeal to the digital generation.

The new campaign, which will launch on Monday sees TV adverts go alongside a Facebook and Twitter strategy in order to extend the appeal of the fish finger.

The new ads will show a bantering family contend with dad jokes at the dinner table.

However Birdseye have maintained the seafarer will not be frozen out completely.

A spokesman for the brand said: "The new campaign is a new era for the captain and he will have a new role and that will become apparent later in the year."

Toasted!

For butter or for worse... 27 toasters given to wedding couple

A BRIDE and groom regretted not issuing a wedding gift list – after they ended up with 27 toasters.

Mike and Victoria Seymour chose not to send one out before their big day because they preferred people to decide what they wanted to buy.

But they were left speechless when they unwrapped the gifts and discovered two-thirds of them were various brands of the kitchen appliance.

Victoria, 37, said: “We just couldn’t stop laughing as we opened them all up. It was so funny.”

She tied the knot with Mike, 44, in Mexico but the couple had a belated reception for 80 friends and family near their home last Saturday.

They were not expecting many presents but noticed a table loaded with them as they walked in to the Beeches Hotel, Nottingham.

Mike, a sales manager for a photocopy firm, said: “We did notice that they all looked similar shapes. But we didn’t think anything of it.”

Nurse Victoria, who has 10-year-old daughter Esme from a previous relationship, said: “By the time we had finished opening them, the pile was from the floor to the roof.

“The toasters were nearly all from Sainsbury’s and Tesco so a lot of thought had been put into it!”

Eventually, the couple realised it was a prank organised by Mike’s best man Rob Kanok, 40. Victoria said: “The first we knew what was really happening was when Rob got up and said, ‘Please raise your glasses for a toaster to the happy couple’.”

Victoria, who has managed to return most of the appliances, added: “The gauntlet has been laid down now and I’m already thinking of something to do for my friend’s wedding.”

What A Pong!

Sickened motorists describe ‘unbelievable’ stench as rotting whale carcass driven along motorway in middle of day

A motorist has told of his shock after witnessing the horrific sight – and smell – of a rotting giant sperm whale carcass being driven along a Kent motorway in broad daylight.

Mark Stephens, 41, who took pictures of the animal as it was transported down the A2 towards Canterbury in Kent, described the ‘unbelievable’ stench coming from the dead mammal.

He added: ‘There was… this massive whale with its head and tail chopped off, blood and guts dropping off the back and everything.

‘The smell was unbelievable. I’ve worked near an abattoir and that smelled bad, but this was something else.’

The body was being transported to a landfill site to be disposed of after lying on the beach for several days.

Mr Stephens added to the Telegraph: ‘It was incredible really. You would have thought, given the state it was in, they would have transported it at night. I don’t think I’ll see anything like that again.’

The 50ft whale died when it became stranded near Seasalter on the north Kent coast a week ago.

A Tight Squeeze??

The Devil’s Wi-Fi!!

Church of England Decided to Censor Eden

The Church of England, which was established by a British king so he could marry his mistress, seems to be having a problem with sinners using its Wi-Fi to download pictures of people garbed just as their God created them. It saw the only way out – censorship.

Today Canterbury Cathedral is blocking access to certain online portals in order to keep worshippers from the temptation of looking for websites during the sermon. The church is also concerned about people searching for the stuff while having tea and cookies at the new café. The church believes that it is a huge problem when modern day pilgrims visit what is left of the shrine of Thomas Beckett. The latter lost his life after encountering some hard normal knights around his back passage.

According to a spokesman for the cathedral, the measures were really a safeguarding process. The church wanted to provide free Wi-Fi for members of the public, but of course it didn’t want them to access salacious or debasing websites.

The Church claimed that the entire move was based on a fear of the devil only, because nobody has actually been caught using their mobiles to look at the devil’s dumplings or feeding their one eyed serpent of paradise thus far. At the same time, the church doesn’t want you murdered by its God for the sin of Onan, who wouldn’t father a kid by his widowed sister-in-law. Media reports say that the appropriately named Chester Cathedral even had to close down its Wi-Fi network after it was revealed that patrons could look at chests on the Internet.

French Censorship!!

France Censored Street Artists Criticizing HADOPI Law

French city workers have recently been instructed to remove political messages from the walls in the street. The order also covered a number of paintings protesting against HADOPI anti-piracy law. Ironically enough, street artists’ works are being censored for criticizing a law which is actually supposed to protect artists.

Like almost any other anti-piracy law in today’s world, French “three-strikes” regime has been a steady topic of controversy since its very beginning. For instance, when the French agency meant to handle file-sharers’ copyright infringements was created, its own logo appeared to be infringing.

Now city workers in Paris censored the work of a prominent street artist. Although it is known that the HADOPI office wasn’t directly involved, the censored pieces of art expressed a protest against the much criticized legislation.

The city workers were ordered to remove political statements from art which appeared on public walls, and one of those creations belonged to a Finnish artist known as Sampsa, who painted many of anti-HADOPI statements across Paris. You can see one of his works, displaying the text “The Blood Sucking HADOPI” with a kid being chased by a giant mosquito.

So, the city workers simply removed all the text from the picture – this way, while the main part of the mutilated painting remained in place, its original message has been completely lost. The most ironical part here is that the city censored an artist speaking out against a law supposed to protect artists. Unsurprisingly enough, the move was heavily criticized by many members of the public, and Sampsa was glad for the public support he has received.

For a street artist this wasn’t the first time that his creations have been censored. The same happened a few months ago, when one of his works was supposed to go on display in Russia. The painting featured Putin as a dwarf with the text “Little Brother is watching you”, but the president’s political party took offense to the picture.

However, the street artist isn’t going to stop. Now the French anti-piracy law is about to be transformed into system where suspected infringers will get automatic fines – and the artists don’t like it much. Sampsa already has a new anti-HADOPI work to show the world and will do it soon.

Anchors present news with funny signs after audio fails

Change Jobs??

Bungling US Bank Robber's $20,000 Slip-Up

A series of blunders helped police capture a hapless bank robber as he attempted to escape with more than $20,000 (£12,000).

Firstly he dropped the loot on the floor of the bank in Maryland.

He then took up valuable time collecting the cash into an upturned umbrella he found on the floor.

After eventually making his getaway, he slipped on ice and cut his head open.

Still he managed to make it to the getaway car - but all the delays caught up with him as police managed to stop the vehicle and make the arrest.

According to the Baltimore Sun, 42-year-old Robert C Williams was charged with robbery. A mugshot released by the Laurel Police Department showed him with a bandage on his head.

The Mile-Low Club??

Join the 'Mile Low Club' on a submarine

Since the dawn of passenger aviation, the so-called 'Mile High Club' has been synonymous with rock stars, honeymoon couples and a select number of cheeky flyers.

Now, 62 years since the opportunity to join this exclusive club first became available to the public, a travel company are offering the opportunity to join the 'Mile Low Club'.
Luxury property rental specialists Oliver's Travels are advertising the use of a specially adapted leisure submarine, interior designed and furnished to the individual customer's specification for an undersea encounter.
The vessel, nicknamed Lovers Deep, will be staffed by an on-board crew of three; the Captain, chef and personal butler (who share separate, sound-proof living accommodation at the other end of the craft to ensure guest privacy).
Lovers Deep has the unique capability of being moored at a location chosen by the customer, whether that be a stunning coral reef off the coast of St. Lucia or a sunken battleship in the Red Sea.
With private speedboat transfers as standard, the service can also be customised with optional extras including helicopter transfers with a beach landing, free rose petal scattering service or champagne breakfast in bed.
Oliver Bell, co-founder of Oliver's Travels said: "All of our handpicked, luxury properties have something unique and quirky about them, but Lovers Deep really stands out as one of our quirkiest yet.
"We're always fascinated by the colourful array of requests we get through our Oliver's Concierge service and are looking forward to creating bespoke packages for those wanting to join the 'Mile Low Club' with us."
Prices start from £175,000 per night excluding air travel.

Whoops!!

Clumsy robber laughed at by bank staff

A Chinese bank clerk was caught on CCTV laughing at an incompetent bank robber who threatened her with a meat cleaver - despite the fact that she was hidden behind an unbreakable security barrier.

Dozy robber De Ke, 28, also stopped mid-robbery in Shanghai to answer a his mobile phone, leaning against the glass to tell whoever it was that he was busy and to call back later.
Bank clerk Rong Ku, 41, told local media: "I might have taken it seriously if he'd had a gun as you never know really if the security glass will stop a bullet, but I knew he had no chance of getting through with a meat cleaver.
"It was a bizarre situation and I just had to laugh, especially when he took a telephone call in the middle of the robbery.
"He said 'this is a robbery' in a really quiet voice and then asked me to hold on while he took a phone call."
As he shouted down the phone, a security guard intervened, allowing another customer to disarm the robber before police arrived on the scene.

Money’s No Problem??

Man tries to pay Valentine’s Day restaurant bill with ‘trillion dollar’ note

We doubt there’s a place in the world that could break a ‘trillion dollar bill’ but that didn’t stop this man from reportedly trying to pay with one.
Michael Williams, from Sumter, South Carolina, offered to pay his restaurant bill with the high value currency after his debit card was rejected on February 14, according to The State.
But unsurprisingly the staff at the Applebee’s outlet did not think the note was legitimate and promptly rang police.
The 53-year-old was arrested at the restaurant but not in relation to the bill.
The authorities decided to ignore his alleged claims of being a trillionaire and instead picked him up for a pending contempt of a magistrate’s court charge.

OK…Where’s The Mango??

'Lost' Big Mango found in Australia

The "theft" of a three-story, seven-tonne mango statue in northern Australia was revealed Tuesday to be an elaborate publicity stunt by a fast-food chain.

The disappearance Monday of the Big Mango, a towering fibreglass likeness of the fruit which is abundant in its hometown of Bowen, made international headlines and a Facebook page was set up to help find it.

But a chicken restaurant chain has said it was responsible for "borrowing" the tourist attraction.

"The disappearance of Bowen's Big Mango has generated quite a lot of attention over the last day or so, and we confess Nando's was behind moving the three storey high, ten tonne tourist attraction," it said on its website.

"Nando's would like to thank the people of Bowen for being good sports about us 'borrowing' their beautiful mango.

The chain said the reason for the stunt would be revealed soon and that the mango would be put back in place.

The famous fruit, which was unveiled in 2002 as a kitschy tourist attraction, appeared to have been harvested in an ambitious raid by thieves armed with heavy machinery and cranes.

But suspicions were raised when police said they were not investigating.

A caller to ABC radio Tuesday said the mango was lying in the bush behind the information centre where it usually sits.

"They've laid it over on its side on a couple of tractor tyres by the look of it and covered all that end that's facing Bowen with big, long tree branches and shade cloths so nobody can see it," he said.

"It's a pretty hard thing to hide."

There are giant fruits all over Australia, including the Big Banana, the Big Pineapple, the Big Strawberry and multiple Big Apples and Oranges.

There are also giant fishes, a lobster, penguin, kangaroo, koalas, and even a giant cask of wine.

Bowen is known as the mango production capital of Australia.

Happy Ending

Cute Florida panther kitten on road to recovery after being found close to death

 

This cute and endangered Florida panther kitten was close to death just a few weeks ago.

The animal is now on its way to making a full recovery after being rescued from the Florida Panther National Wildlife Refuge.

The kitten had hypothermia when it was picked up by concerned biologists who then took it to a special animal hospital in the state.

‘He was very lethargic, listless and non-responsive,’ said a spokeswoman for the Florida Fish and Wildlife Conservation Commission.

After intensive round-the-clock care, the animal, which has yet to be named, put on more than a pound in weight.

He has now been taken to Lowry Park Zoo, in Tampa, to continue his recovery but is unlikely to ever be released back into the wild.

Got A Light??

Container with 11 MILLION cigarettes washes up on British beach

TREASURE hunters have been warned to stay away from a Devon beach after a shipping container washed up - filled with 11 million cigarettes.

The 40 foot long box - which contains some 14 tonnes of fags - was just one of 517 washed off a cargo ship during storms earlier this month.
Police are currently patrolling the area to prevent people from trying to pocket a crafty box of soggy cigarettes and have warned they will prosecute.
The Danish container is bobbing in shallow water at Seaton, Devon, and could be the first of many to wash up on the Lyme Bay coast.
The Maritime and Coastguard Agency is arranging recovery of the Maersk container which landed early this morning but have been delayed by the high tide.
A spokesman for Devon and Cornwall Police said: "At the moment the container is still in shallow water and is floating, so is not accessible.
"It was reported by a member of the public at 8.10am this morning and officers are on scene to make sure no one puts themselves at risk to recover anything.
"The contents belong initially to the original owner of the container, and then to the official Receiver of Wrecks, so anyone taking anything that washes ashore, even one packet of cigarettes, is effectively committing theft and will be prosecuted.
"So the message to anyone intending to go down there looking for free fags is don't bother."
It is estimated the shipping container could have contained as many as 11 MILLION cigarettes.
If full, the 40ft shipping container could have had 55,511 cartons of cigarettes, meaning there could be 11,102,200 cigarettes floating just feet from the beach.

The ship was heading from Rotterdam to Sri Lanka when it hit storms in the Bay of Biscay on Valentines Day.
Hundreds of containers fell into the water when six compartments of the ship tilted over after winds forced the ship to roll up to 40 degrees.
None of the crew was injured but it is reported to be the biggest loss of containers that Maersk has ever suffered.
Many of the containers have probably already sunk or made their way to France.
The police and the MCA were expecting the box to wash up but did not know where on the coast it would arrive.

Spend A Costly Penny?

£28m Firstsite Gallery 'only used by people to spend a penny'

Some have labelled the controversial Colchester gallery as the "most expensive public toilet in the world"

A £28m art gallery has been condemned as a waste of public money amid claims more than half of its visitors only entered to use the lavatory.

The Firstsite art gallery in Colchester, Essex, first opened its doors to the public in September 2011 with the aim of attracting 150,000 visitors every year.

But the attraction - which aims to make "contemporary art relevant to everyone" - has now come under the spotlight amid claims the majority of people were leaving within two minutes of coming through the doors.

Instead of coming to see the artworks - which have been described by some critics as a "out touch with ordinary people" - it is thought many members of the public are just using the free-to-enter gallery as a convenient place to go to the lavatory.

The gallery has claimed everyone who walks through the doors is enjoying a "cultural experience" no matter how long they spend inside, because there are artworks in the foyer area.

But Colchester's MP, Sir Bob Russell has said the gallery is a waste of taxpayers' money.

He said: "Those popping in to use the toilet are not even spending a penny - it is free.

"But it is boosting numbers of people going through the door as those behind this vanity project desperately try to justify not only the massive capital cost but also the annual subsidy of about £1 million from the public purse.

"Clearly those in charge of the so-called arts are flush with money."