Dogging??

The odds seem stacked against the two dogs as at least seven sharks twice their size circled below them during a dip in the sea.
But far from being frightened, the pair appear completely unperturbed, even swimming after them in the shallow water.
One of the dogs then suddenly ducks below the surface and attacks.
"The dog is biting the shark," exclaimed the cameraman in disbelief as the pair thrashed around underwater.
"The dog is underwater with the shark. What the hell? That is unbelievable. I've seen it all now. I can't believe I've got that on film."

Planking or Just Thick?

Planking fail sees woman becomes online hit

If this woman hoped people on the internet would see her attempt at planking and find it funny, mission accomplished… though probably not in the way she intended.
The unnamed US woman wanted to get in on the latest internet craze of planking which involves lying facedown in an unlikely setting and chose her kitchen.
Unfortunately for her, she accidentally grabbed the cooker door handle and it flung open causing her to hit her chin on the cooker before falling to the floor.
Despite the oven toppling down on top of her, the woman - who only suffered a bruise - dusted herself off and completed a successful plank in a reverse position. At least she got that we fame she was after. 

Naked Ambition?

Fatter and fewer German nudists

The naked sunbathers who once crowded Germany's Baltic beaches and city parks are becoming an endangered species due to shifting demographics, the fall of the Berlin Wall, growing prosperity and widening girths.
Much to the chagrin of Free Body Culture (FKK) enthusiasts who have been stripping off their clothing on beaches and parks since the early 1900s, a cold wind has been blowing across Germany for nudists and their numbers are steadily dwindling.
"German society is changing and it's not easy to be a naturist anymore," said Kurt Fischer, president of the German FKK association (DFK). There are some 500,000 registered nudists and a total of seven million Germans sunbathe naked regularly.
"But the numbers are unfortunately falling by about two percent each year," Fischer told a group of reporters in the Foreign Press Association (VAP) while sitting, fully clothed, at a beach bar in Berlin's government quarter. "Times are tough."
Nude sunbathing has a long tradition in Germany. The Free Body Culture (FKK) movement was founded in the early 20th century and succeeded in taking much of the smut and embarrassment out of nudity.
Even Germany's top model Heidi Klum was quoted in the German media recently extolling the virtues of topless sunbathing and describing difficulties she has pursuing it in places such as the United States and Italy where it's frowned upon or illegal.
"I love to get a sun tan and I don't like white stripes," said Klum. "I don't worry about what other people think." Her parents often ran around in the nude and still do, she said.
In Germany, public nudity on beaches and lakes is by and large tolerated and practitioners face no legal consequences, although some courts have fined some caught hiking nude on public trails or riding bikes or horses while naked.
For decades nudity was a popular way for those living in Communist East Germany to express themselves -- and was a small piece of freedom for those behind the Iron Curtain. East German beaches on the Baltic were always filled with nude bathers.
But that began to gradually fall out of fashion in many areas in the east after the Berlin Wall fell in 1989, and then tensions sometimes flared when some western German tourists unaccustomed to the widespread nudity complained.
"When we moved from western Germany to a town in the east, we noticed there was less of a taboo about nudity," said one American surprised by the ubiquitous nudity in the east. "It really struck me at a nearby lake when people were just naked in the water or getting a tan in the sun and nobody was bothered."
There are other reasons contributing to decline of the unique German cultural tradition. As a 70-year-old eastern woman named Brigitte pointed out, growing prosperity has led to growing waist sizes.
"In East Germany, there were a lot more people with attractive physiques," said Brigitte, a retired dental assistant and avid naturist who asked that her full name not be used.
"But with the rise in prosperity a lot of people have come apart at the seams and they can't show their bodies in public anymore. We've become a lot chubbier with all this prosperity. It's not really very aesthetic anymore."
Brigitte said she misses the East German era when entire beaches and camping areas were packed with nudists even though parts of West Germany, such as Munich's English Garten park and West Berlin's Tiergarten, have proud FKK traditions.
"I miss those places more and more," she said, admitting that she often feels inhibited about being nude and now wraps a towel around herself until she gets to the water. "You definitely see fewer people in then nude. But I don't think the movement will die out. It's too much fun."

Lifted?

Forklift thief crashes, then distracts police

Police allege a man made up a story about a shooting to distract them from investigating a stolen forklift he had crashed into a river footbridge in Adelaide.
They said the 22-year-old Underdale man stole the forklift from a food distribution business at suburban West Hindmarsh.
Just after 11:00pm on Tuesday he was doing burn-outs on the River Torrens bike track at Flinders Park, crashed into a footbridge and the forklift got stuck.
Neighbours heard the crash and called police.
While officers were searching for the man, someone telephoned from a house at Underdale to report a shooting.
Police went to the house and ended up arresting the caller.
They allege he was the forklift thief and made up the shooting story as a distraction.
He has been charged with offences including creating a false belief.

Bloody French!!

Couple win £7.8k over non-French speaking airline staff

A couple have successfully sued Air Canada after airline staff did not speak to them in French.
Michel and Lynda Thibodeau were awarded 12,000 Canadian dollars (£7,800 / US$12,500) from the lawsuit.Because Canada is a bilingual country with English and French as its official languages, national airlines by law must provide service in both tongues.
Michel complained that he was only greeted in English at the airport in Ottawa. Later, when he had ordered a 7 Up, he claimed that an English-speaking steward handed over the soft drink.
He was further angered when an announcement was made in English at the baggage carousel.
Michel can speak fluent English, but said after winning the case: "This was a violation of my linguistic rights, and you have to stand up for your rights or lose them."
In 2002, Michel lodged a complaint when a bus driver said "hello" to him instead of the French greeting "bonjour".

Only Kidding?

Aussie mum investigated for putting kids on eBay

An Australian mother who listed her children for sale on the Internet had her joke backfire when authorities were called in to investigate, police said Sunday.
Officials in the southern city of Geelong were notified last week that a woman was attempting to sell her children, a boy and girl both aged under 10, on the auction site eBay.
Photos of the children were included in the sales pitch.
"Police tracked down the woman, who said it was a joke," police said in a statement.
Child welfare officers and police conducted a joint investigation and police said no charges would be laid.
"However, police discourage this type of behaviour," the statement said.

Yeh Right?

Woman blames satnav for driving into lake

An Australian woman has driven into a lake and said her satellite navigation system is to blame.
Petra Lang, 27, used the device to point her in the direction of Lake Grundlsee, but when she tried to take a shortcut she was unsighted by undergrowth and ended up going straight into the water, according to the emergency services.
One rescuer said: "She insisted the satnav system was to blame.
"She said she typed in that she wanted to go to the lake - but got closer than she intended."
Petra escaped safely but firefighters had to pull the van out of the lake.

The EU Gets It Right!

EU Copyright Legislation Opposed By ISPs, Professors and Users

In the middle of July 2011, the European Commission published the results of a public consultation on the EU copyright directive IPRED. The responses have created a huge gap between rights owners and ISPs, professors and consumers, who claimed that the measures mentioned in IPRED threaten fundamental human rights and stifle innovation.
Within the past few years controversial copyright-protecting measures have been proposed in the European Union and outside of it. The most recent proposal (IPR Enforcement Directive, better known as IPRED) also proposes measures affecting online freedom and transforming Internet Service providers into Internet cops.
Earlier this year, different stakeholders and European citizens received the chance to take a stand against the proposed legislation. Now the results of the public consultation are published with a total of 380 responses received. Around 50% of all responses belong to individuals.
The summary, published by the EC, showed that there are in fact two rival parties formed, one of them being rights owners, and the other including Internet users, broadband providers and academics. While copyright owners are calling for stricter rules for copyright violation and illegal file-sharing, the second party is insisting that such measures shouldn’t apply for a number of reasons.
For example, Internet service providers complain that harsher rules would suffocate innovation, while Internet users, consumer groups and professors claim the legislation violate fundamental human rights. So, the European Commission made a conclusion that the overwhelming majority of consumers and academics strongly argued against regulation of IPR infringements, particularly in the context of the Internet community. Therefore, censoring of content and monitoring traffic on the web were regarded as threats to basic rights and clearly rejected. In addition, lots of the respondents pointed out that the entertainment industry itself is the piracy’s catalyst, because it doesn’t offer legitimate content.
Meanwhile, many respondents proposed for legalizing file-sharing throughout time, which would help the free exchange of data and consequently helping spread culture along with increasing creativity without affecting industry and society as a whole.

Something Else To Worry About??

Over 65 and not worried about heat? You should be

This week's heat wave may be uncomfortable, but you're healthy, active and feel just fine. So what if you're over 65? Think again. Feeling good doesn't mean you're safe.
There are changes in an older person that raise the risk for heat stroke and other problems. An older body contains far less water than a younger one. Older brains can't sense temperature changes as well, and they don't recognize thirst as easily.
Blistering summer heat is an underappreciated killer, claiming by some estimates as many as 1,000 U.S. lives each year — more than any other type of weather.
One federal study found 40 percent of heat-related deaths were in people 65 and older. Those numbers could be lower if more heeded heat warnings aimed at seniors. Yet research has shown many people over 65 don't think the warnings apply to them — because they don't think they're "old."
Don Worden is 79 and an avid tennis buff who prefers playing doubles on outdoor courts along Chicago's lakefront — even in oppressive 90-degree temperatures like those hitting the Midwest this week.
"I don't pay too much attention to those" warnings, Worden said. "I stay in pretty good shape, and I don't feel they apply to me."
Worden said he drinks a lot of water and would stop a match if he started feeling effects from the heat, "but that hasn't happened."
Scott Sheridan, who studies the effects of heat and climate on health at Kent State University, researched how people over 65 view heat warnings. In his 2006 study of more than 900 people, he found about 70 percent knew about advice to drink plenty of water on very hot days, avoid outdoor activities and stay inside with air conditioning. But only about half said they followed the advice.
"People well into their 70s would say old people should watch out but not them," he said. "People just didn't want to be thought of in that same category."
Dr. David Zich, an emergency medicine specialist at Northwestern Memorial Hospital, said he has colleagues in medicine that age who shun being thought of as "elderly." But those heat warnings apply to them, too.
As Dr. William Dale, geriatrics chief at the University of Chicago Medical Center explains it, "Any older adult has less reserve and is more likely to become dehydrated than others, just because their overall body water goes down with age no matter how healthy you are."
The amount of water in the body declines with aging, from about 80 percent in young adulthood to about 55 to 60 percent for people in their 80s, Dale said.
Temperature sensors in the brain become less sensitive as people age, so the body doesn't get the same signals to drink water in hot weather, and older people often don't feel thirsty even when they need to replenish, Dale said.
They also may not feel the typical symptoms of dehydration, such as headache or dizziness. Some complain of just feeling "bad" and think they're getting sick, he said.
Conditions were ripe for those types of complaints Tuesday as a dense dome of hot air remained parked over much of the nation's midsection, raising temperatures into the mid- to upper-90s from the Texas Gulf Coast to the Rockies and the northern Plains. Tropical-level humidity raised the heat index in many places to nearly 120 degrees.
In South Dakota, up to 1,500 head of cattle died across the state from the heat. And in eastern Iowa, the scorching sun caused a portion of Interstate 380 to buckle. The weather also sent dozens of people to hospitals, canceled outdoor sporting events and caused sporadic power outages.
In such conditions, dehydration can lead to heat exhaustion and potentially deadly heat stroke. During a heat wave, that can happen in a matter of hours in older people if they over-exert themselves, don't drink enough water or are frail and don't get out of uncooled homes, said Dr. Chris Carpenter, an emergency medicine physician at Washington University School of Medicine in St. Louis.
Heat exhaustion can cause muscle cramps, low blood pressure, rapid pulse and nausea. It can be treated at home, by drinking water, getting into an air-conditioned room or sitting in front of a fan and misting the body with cool water.
But affected people should be monitored for mental changes and to make sure their temperature does not rise above 102 because the condition can quickly lead to heat stroke. A medical emergency, heat stroke involves temperatures of 104 or higher and can cause seizures, loss of consciousness and death.
Medicines many older people take also may make them more vulnerable to the heat. These include diuretics for high blood pressure, which increase urination — and make it more important to drink plenty of water, Dale said.
Some types of drugs can interfere with sweating and raise body temperature, including some medicines for insomnia, nausea, prostate conditions, Parkinson's disease and even Benadryl. Many list "dry mouth" as a side effect — a tip-off to drink more water, Zich said.
There aren't specific guidelines on how much water older people should drink in a heat wave.
Dale said he generally tells his older patients to drink a quart of water throughout the day, and to drink even if they don't feel thirsty.
Doctors also advise older patients to avoid alcohol and coffee during extreme heat because they can cause the body to lose fluid and contribute to dehydration.

Mail It?….Not!

Mail fail leads to jail
A mailman in England who stashed 31,000 parcels because he was too drunk to deliver them will spend time in jail.
Steve Tasker, of Burnley, just north of Manchester, admitted to interfering with mail, damage and theft, reports the Telegraph newspaper.
The 43-year-old Tasker said he meant to deliver all that mail one day. That's why he stored it in his home and his backyard shed over a period of three and a half years.
According to the paper, postal officials put Tasker under surveillance last September after receiving complaints from people who weren't getting their mail. One day, they saw him start work around noon and knock off at 2 p.m. with more than 300 pieces of mail undelivered.
Tasker was sentenced to 32 weeks in jail, suspended for a year. He was also ordered to get alcohol treatment and enter a program that teaches people life skills like problem solving.

Hop-In?

One-legged South African driver 'used boy as clutch'

A one-legged delivery truck driver was stopped at a Cape Town roadblock on Friday, when police found him using his 11-year-old son to operate the clutch.

The 39-year-old driver had his left leg amputated in 1996 after a gunshot injury, leaving him unable to press the clutch to change gears, the city's traffic department said in a statement.
To keep driving, he sat his son next to him in the driver's seat, telling the boy when to press the clutch for gear changes, chief traffic inspector Merle Lourens told AFP.
The driver, who was not named, had an expired learner's permit, but only to drive automatic vehicles. The truck's licence had expired two years ago, and it had a broken parking brake and a broken seat belt, she added.
He was fined 1,000 rand (£90).
"He won't be allowed to drive, but he shouldn't have been driving in the first place," she said.

Pirates On The Move Again!

UK Saw 30% Growth In Pirated Movie Downloads

The UK Internet research company called Envisional confirmed that it has witnessed an increase in unauthorized film downloads by 30% within the last 5 years. It is clear that such factors as the increase of connection speeds and the development of file-sharing methods over the years were responsible for this rapid growth.
The research carried out by Envisional found that the top 5 box office films of last year have accounted for nearly 1.4 million downloads in the United Kingdom only.
Dr David Price, the researcher from Envisional, explained that the methods of piracy had become much easier, downloads had become quicker, and searching for content had also become easier. In fact, today almost anyone having Internet connection can do it.
Unsurprisingly enough, at the top of the list with the largest number of downloads (about 200,000) is well-known Avatar – a film which, nevertheless, still generated box-office revenue of nearly $170 million in the country in 2010. However, the report reveals that the increase of downloads did not just apply to films – in comparison with 2006, last year the most popular TV shows have also seen a 33% growth, which totaled to about 1.24 million downloads. Dr David Price admitted that the UK currently has a big demand for North American TV shows in particular. For example, Glee and House are the leaders of unauthorized file-sharing, and their series are downloaded heavily in the United Kingdom. By the way, I’m not sure about Glee, but House is beloved all over the world – for example, the most recent Russian survey revealed that Hugh Laurie is the most popular actor among the youth – and that’s considering that House was not even shown on TV in that country!
Meanwhile, the UK researchers say that their citizens are very eager to get the TV shows as soon as they get broadcast in the United States, but they very often have to wait for a month or two to see them legitimately in the United Kingdom. Besides, they also pointed at the need for adapting and innovating that should have come from the movie industry to make unauthorized file-sharing less attractive to people.
Dr Price suggests that the best way to challenge this is to give consumers what they want. In fact, people are ready to pay for downloads, which means that making it legitimately available would be a great step forward.

What A Surprise??

Many holidaying Brits refuse to eat local nosh

Unadventurous Brits refuse to eat local cuisine and rarely leave their holiday complex when going abroad, it's been revealed.
Despite jetting off to far-flung destinations, four in 10 people admit they only travel abroad for the sunshine.
A third say they prefer to stick with English food such as fish and chips than try anything more exciting from local menus.
And 47% even claim they would rather eat in well-known burger and fast-food restaurants than sampling some of the more exotic delicacies.
In fact, 22% won’t eat at restaurants which don’t have English speaking staff… though 'steak and chips' is understood pretty much around the world.
Incredibly, 36% of Brits also expect all foreign people to speak fluent English, and yet half would never consider trying to speak the local language themselves in an attempt to communicate.
A spokesperson for esure, which polled 3,000 holidaymakers said: "It is clear from these findings that although people are happy to travel to foreign countries for their annual holiday, they are less comfortable about experiencing the local culture once they are there.
"It seems people are worried about trying local foods in case they don’t like them and would rather stick to a Full English.”

About Time

Restaurant bans children under 6 years old

A restaurant in America has chosen to ban all kids under the age of 6.
McDain's, a restaurant and golf driving range in Monroeville, PA, justified its decision by claiming that young children cannot be controlled, reports the Pittsburgh Post-Gazette.
McDain's, which includes a bar, is said to have an adult atmosphere, emphasised by the fact that it has never offered a children's menu.
Owner Mike Vuick told regular customers in an email: "We feel McDain's is not a place for young children. Their volume can't be controlled and many, many times they have disturbed other customers.
"There are many child-friendly restaurants that are a lot cheaper to go to."
He added: "[There's] nothing wrong with babies, but the fact is you can't control their volume... I think it's the height of being impolite and selfish and so, therefore, I instituted a policy."
The ban has attracted mixed reaction from locals. Posting on Yelp, one man welcomed the change, commenting: "Part of me thinks this is probably a good idea. I think we live in the age of bad parenting, and a lot of parents simply cannot keep their kids under control."
However, another poster countered: "The people with the kids running and screaming at restaurants are the same ones who would answer a loudly ringing cell phone at the table and proceed to chat.
"It should be a rude-people rule not a kids-under-6 rule."

RIAA……..At It Again!!!!!

Why Your Business Should Worry About the ISP Copyright Fight

Millions of small business owners may soon realize that their Internet service could be disrupted if they're wrongly accused of illegal file sharing or downloading under the "six strikes" plan entertainment media groups announced this week.
Initiated by the Recording Industry Association of America (RIAA), the Motion Picture Association of America (MPAA), and other media groups, participating ISPs will shortly begin sending warning letters to users or companies whose accounts are allegedly used to illegally share files. ISPs will send a series of up to six notices to account holders whose IP addresses are allegedly used for the "online content theft of film, TV shows, or music" as part of the Center for Copyright Information initiative. After six notices, the ISP could begin a series of "mitigation measures"--which for all intents and purposes would likely lead to the disruption of Internet services on which most small businesses depend.
The announcement is the most important of its kind since the RIAA announced it was ending its litigation campaign in 2008 to thwart illegal file sharing. So now, instead of suing alleged digital copyright infringers, participating ISPs including AT&T, Cablevision Systems, Comcast, Time Warner Cable, and Verizon will carry the stick intended to curb illegal file sharing on behalf of the media companies.
Here are four things that small businesses should be concerned about.
1. Losing Internet Access
The Center for Copyright Information does not come out and say that ISPs will suspend accounts. It also specifies that participating ISPs may even decide not to institute the "mitigation measures." However, possible steps that ISPs could take include reductions in Internet speeds and blocking access to Websites by redirecting users to a landing page.
If you or one of your office users is blatantly using an account to download movies and films, that's one thing. But what remains unclear is exactly how copyright holders will determine whether they think their copyright-protected content has been illegally accesses or shared.
During the RIAA's litigation campaign, many people were wrongly sued when hackers hijacked users' IP addresses. It is thus likely that hijacked IP addresses associated with file sharing will erroneously fall in the line of fire.
Proving that a subscriber account was not used for illegal file sharing when issued a court summons was difficult in the past. Those accused usually paid lawyers fees or damages of a few thousand dollars for those who did not contest the damages as a remedy. However, for many small businesses, a disruption in Internet access would mean nothing less than the end of their business, which is certainly more costly than paying a few thousand dollars to settle legal claims, whether they are erroneous or not.
2. Time and Expense to Respond
A small business that erroneously receives a warning letter will have to devote time and resources to contest the claim. According to the Center for Copyright Information, subscribers can pay $35 for an "independent review" if they feel they are wrongly accused. However, besides placing the future of your company's Internet access in the hands of a supposed independent review committee, what kind of evidence will those wrongly accused have to gather? A small business owner already working 80 hours a week might not be able to squeeze the extra resources required to prove a negative--which, as in criminal law, is harder than proving a positive--that an account was not used for illegal file sharing.
3. Wi-Fi Hijacking Risks
Small businesses that offer customers free Wi-Fi service can only claim that a customer and not the business owner illegally shared or accessed copyright-protected content one time. This means that your business could risk connectivity problems if customers repeatedly share or download copy-right protected content. Policing your customers to make sure they are not illegally accessing or sharing files, besides raising privacy concerns, would require extra resources that small business may not have.
4. Defending Fair Use Claims
Suppose copyright owner X informs the ISP that your business is infringing on its copyright claims, even though your legal counsel says it is not. The ISP will almost certainly not adjudicate this claim and will likely follow through with sending alerts that claim your business is stealing content. What do you do then?
Also, if your business claims that it is allowed to share or access content under fair use policies and disagrees with the copyright holder's claims, your business or name must be communicated to the copyright holder to do that, which raises privacy concerns.
What To Do?
Small businesses as well as subscribers can react by contacting their ISPs and congressional representatives to express why they think this development is a bad idea. Some participating ISPs may decide to opt out of the initiative if enough subscribers complain.

WOW…That’s Got To Hurt!!!!!

Woman cuts off husband's penis

A Southern California woman was in custody Tuesday after authorities said she drugged her estranged husband, tied him to a bed, cut off his penis and put it through a garbage disposal.

Garden Grove police Lt. Jeff Nightengale said that Catherine Kieu Becker put drugs in a meal and served it to the victim, whose name was not released, shortly before the attack Monday night.
Nightengale said the 51-year-old man felt sick, went to lie down and lost consciousness. The 48-year-old Becker then tied the victim's arms and legs to the bed with rope, removed his clothes and attacked him with a 10-inch (25-centimeter) kitchen knife as he awoke, Nightengale said.
"He was conscious when his penis was removed," Nightengale said.
Nightengale said Becker put the penis in the garbage disposal and turned it on.
Becker called the emergency dispatcher and indicated to arriving officers that the victim was in the next room, Nightengale said. Paramedics found him tied to the bed, bleeding profusely.
Bail for Becker was set at $1 million after she was booked at the Orange County Jail for investigation of aggravated mayhem, false imprisonment, assault with a deadly weapon, administering a drug with intent to commit a felony, poisoning and spousal abuse.
The victim underwent surgery and was in serious condition at the University of California at Irvine Medical Center in Orange. Nightengale said the man is expected to survive.
A call to a hospital spokeswoman was not immediately returned.
Becker was taken into custody without incident, although she would not talk to officers, Nightengale said.
Becker is due in court Wednesday. A telephone listing for her residence could not be located and no one was home in the apartment.
Neighbor Lourdes Painter told The Associated Press the couple had been married since December, did not have any children and seemed very quiet. Becker and her husband lived in a second-story condo in the working class complex. Painter lives in the unit below them.
The couple was reportedly in the process of a divorce.
Nightengale said a database search showed no previous calls to the house for any past problems. He didn't know what kind of food the couple ate for dinner.

No Taste Buds?

Couple have Marmite-themed wedding

Two newlyweds have got married at a Marmite-themed wedding ceremony.
Terry and Jennifer Constant wanted to dedicate their nuptials to the yeast-based paste, which they believe brought them together.
The couple met eight years ago at the University of Portsmouth. Terry had introduced himself to Jennifer at the halls of residence while holding a cheese and Marmite sandwich, and the pair bonded over their love of the product, SWNS reports.
Terry added: "Now we have [Marmite] in everything, including curries. We are both vegetarians, so we add it to our meals and take it with us wherever we go."
Their wedding ceremony included a Marmite-flavoured wedding cake and gifts of tiny Marmite jars for all the guests. Jennifer also wore a Marmite-themed hat, while Terry drove a Marmite-themed taxi.
Terry recalled: "We had lots of special Marmite touches at the wedding that, in classic style, people either loved or hated. I drove a Marmite taxi, and we put little jars out for everyone to enjoy.
"We had Marmite hats and, of course, our cake was also Marmite-themed. It was half-Marmite and chocolate and half-vanilla.
"But I didn't think it went far enough. I would have spread Jennifer in the stuff if I had the chance!"

Here’s a Change!!

Gorilla attacked by a banana

The manager of a cell phone store in Ohio called 911 to report a gorilla had been attacked by a banana.
The Wireless Center in Strongsville, near Cleveland, advertises at curbside with a man in a gorilla suit. Manager Brandon Parham says he was watching last week as a kid dressed as a banana emerged from some bushes and took a flying leap at the store mascot.
Parham says the attacker looked like a Spartan from the movie "300" - except he was a banana.
The gorilla was knocked down but got back up, adjusted his head and went back to work.
WJW-TV reports the banana split - running down the street with other teens.
Police think it was a prank. They weren't able to find the offending fruit.

Not Married Women!

Men want cuddles but women prefer sex

Acts of affection like hugs and kisses were more important to men than women, researchers found.
And for women, sex tends to get better over time - after a couple has been together about 15 years.
Researchers surveyed over 1,000 couples from five different countries who had been in relationships for between one and 51 years.
Half of the couples had been together for at least 25 years.
The participants, aged between 40 and 70, were asked how many times in the past month they had kissed, cuddled, caressed and made love with their partner.
They were also quizzed about their degree of happiness in their relationships and sex lives.
Men who reported frequent kissing and cuddling were three times as happy, on average, as those who had less snuggling with their wives or girlfriends.
Women, meanwhile, said that such shows of affection had very little impact on their happiness.
Both men and women reported their sex lives improving the longer their relationship had lasted.
But men were more likely to say they were happy with their relationship while women were more likely to report being satisfied with the sex.
In the first 15 years of a relationship, women are significantly less sexually satisfied than men.
But once they have been in a relationship 15 years, their satisfaction level is 20 per cent higher than at the beginning.
Men were just happy to know that their partner enjoyed sex, and, in particular, that they had orgasms.
The survey of couples from the US, Germany, Spain, Japan and Brazil was carried out by researchers from the Kinsey Institute at America’s Indiana University.
Lead author Julia Heiman said that the first 15 years of a relationship may be emotionally draining for women while they are raising children. As they get older, they have fewer pressures.
She said: “It's possible that women became more sexually satisfied over time because their expectations change or life changes when their children grow up.
“The period of less satisfaction seems to overlap with the period of raising children, during which other things really take a focus.”
The findings about intimacy were the opposite of what researchers had expected, she revealed.
She said: “We became interested in relationships that endure and how might we begin to understand them.
“Cuddles were more important to men in predicting the degree of happiness.
“The really useful message is we should not make presumptions about the genders.
“Because there's no way to be sure we're going to be right in any way.”

That Will Teach Her!

Woman pays heavy price for joke

Husband remarries after wife said she can buy another husband

An arrogant Saudi woman made the mistake of her life when she retaliated to a heavy joke by her husband with a much heavier one. The husband simply turned his joke into reality and married another woman.
The unnamed couple were visiting the wife’s family when her husband joked by telling her brothers that he would marry again.
“His wife joked back but it was a much heavier joke when she told him ‘I can kick you with my leg any time and marry another one with my money.”
“Her husband got furious and decided to marry another woman…her brothers tried to calm him down but he felt very offended,” Kabar newspaper said in a report from the capital Riyadh on Monday.
“The real joke is that he went ahead with the marriage and the brothers of his first wife paid all wedding costs….that wife paid a heavy price of her joke.”

Whose There?

Denmark Will Forbid Anonymous Internet Use

The police in Denmark reportedly believe that using the web anonymously should be a thing of the past. That’s why the authorities are currently recommending that users’ identities should be verified before they are able to log on to the worldwide web. However, it seems that hoping that online anonymity is abolished and making it happen are absolutely different things.

According to media reports, interesting developments are taking place in Denmark. The police in the country are reportedly hoping that online anonymity should be abolished, but they don’t explain how exactly people are supposed to make themselves known to thus far anonymous connections. Meanwhile, the representatives of the country’s Ministry of Justice mention different possibilities like electronic signature, Social Security numbers, or SMS solutions.

In short words, the police will require that an Internet user doesn’t have access to the web before the information about their identity is registered and verified. However, if the police in the country plan to fight Internet anonymity in Denmark this way, it will most likely not work, because nothing can stop people from accessing TOR, for example. And if an Internet user accesses a site via TOR, then their IP address would be different, thus making it almost impossible to trace that individual back to the original IP address.

On the other hand, if the goal of the current proposal isn’t to end online anonymity altogether, then it is unclear what exactly this would accomplish. In reality, if people want to cover their online tracks and they have some idea of how to do it, they will undoubtedly be able to hide themselves from the authorities. In addition, people would never agree to use such things as social security numbers, because if they are used to verify Internet users’ identities, the chances are that third parties will be able to trace these numbers. As a result, identity thieves will be a huge step closer to stealing users’ identities.

Overall, this proposal will only be an extra strain on the system. Besides, it could cost plenty of money to enforce, and, finally, it is still unclear how such suggestion, if implemented, would be able to end online anonymity at all.

Germans! Always Good For A laugh?

German tourist tries to sue over sunlounger

A disgruntled German tourist attempted to sue a holiday firm after his sunlounger was given to another guest.

The man complained to a court in Munich that he had been discriminated against when the sunlounger he had used for the majority of his stay at a hotel in the Egyptian resort of Sharm el-Sheikh was allocated to another tourist.
But the court ruled as the sunbed was hotel property, the resort could give it to whoever they liked.
The compensation bid for loss of sunbed formed part of wider legal complaint by the German tourist.
He had originally taken the holiday firm to court after he was subjected to a stage show at his hotel featuring goose-stepping Nazis giving the Hitler salute.
The unnamed tourist claimed that the show had discriminated against Germans and made him feel unwelcome. He demanded 25 per cent of £616 cost of his holiday, plus an additional £450 in compensation for having his holiday ruined.
The sunbed incident occurred after the cabaret, and, the tourist argued, may have been linked to anti-German sentiment fostered by the show.
But his bid for significant compensation failed, when the court ordered the holiday firm to pay him a token amount of £30.

Bagged!!

Guards bag prisoner in Mexico suitcase jailbreak

A Mexican prisoner hoped to take a trip to freedom by packing himself into his girlfriend’s suitcase.
But guards at the jail in the southeastern town of Chetumal grew suspicious when the woman seemed nervous as she wheeled out the bulging bag after a conjugal visit with the prisoner.
Opening the luggage, guards found Juan Ramirez folded into the fetal position in his underpants and socks, a spokeswoman for local federal police said Tuesday.
Ramirez and his girlfriend face criminal charges over the bungled escape.

Thick As A Plank?

Planking teen's 'stupidity'

A magistrate in Britain has lashed out at a teenager who lay on one of the country's busiest railway tracks to be photographed planking.
The 14-year-old had his picture taken laying across the train tracks on the East Coast Main Line.
The York Youth Court was told that a train was passing on another track as the picture was taken.
Britain's Daily Mirror and Daily Mail newspapers reported prosecutor Kathryn Reeves telling the court that the youth admitted laying on the tracks and that a friend stood on a fence to take the pictures.
Miss Reeves said he told police he did it as he "had nothing else to do".
The teenager narrowly avoided jail. He was ordered to go before a juveniles justice panel.
Magistrate Horsfield said: "This can only be described as an act of total stupidity. It isn't brave at all, is it?"

Batman Live (Just!!)

Batman stuntman plunges through house roof

A top Hollywood stuntman on the new Batman film came down to earth with a bang after a skydive manoeuvre went wrong and he plunged through the roof of a house.

The hapless daredevil was rehearsing skydiving scenes for the latest Batman blockbuster ‘The Dark Knight Rises’ when was blown off course.
Eyewitnesses watched as the surprise visitor dropped in from the sky like the caped crusader himself and smashed through the roof tiles.
But unlike Gotham City’s cool crimefighter, the stuntman found himself wedged among the tiles of the chalet roof and had to be helped down after locals fetched a ladder.
The stunt backfired while the stunt crew practised manoeuvres for the forthcoming Batman movie ‘The Dark Knight Rises’.
Local resident Pavel Satny said: ”It was incredible. I’m amazed he survived. There were five parachutists overhead and I was watching one of the men who looked like he was going to drop into the nearby forest.
..But then out of the corner of my eye I saw another man fall straight down into the roof next door.
”He dropped just like a stone. I didn’t know what to do – whether to get my ladder or get my wife.”
The stuntman, who was helped down from the roof by locals and a paramedic from the film crew – remarkably suffered no serious injuries.
Pavel added: ”He seemed OK. He told me that it was windy and he just couldn’t control his parachute.
”He was so lucky – he could have easily died.”
The crew have been rehearsing for the movie at the Cairngorm Gliding Club in Inverness-shire for the last week. His accidental target was an outdoor activity centre.
The ‘Dark Knight Rises’ is due for release next summer.

Dusty?

Massive dust storm descends on Phoenix area

A massive dust storm descended on the Phoenix area on Tuesday night, drastically reducing visibility and delaying flights as strong winds toppled trees and caused power outages for thousands of residents in the valley.

A wall of dust that towered over skyscrapers downtown swept across the desert from the south, and KSAZ-TV reported it appeared to be roughly 50 miles wide in some spots. The dust cloud briefly blanketed downtown Phoenix at around nightfall.

The storm was part of the Arizona monsoon season, which typically starts in mid-June and lasts through Sept. 30.

The National Weather Service says strong winds with gusts of more than 60 mph rapidly moved the dust cloud northwest through Phoenix and the cities of Avondale, Tempe and Scottsdale. More than a dozen communities in the area also were placed under a severe thunderstorm watch until 11 p.m.

Some 8,000 Salt River Project utility customers were left without power, KNXV-TV reported late Tuesday.

The Arizona Republic reported winds also downed live wires in Tempe that sparked a fire at a busy intersection, but firefighters were able to quickly extinguish the blaze.

The Federal Aviation Administration said on its website that because of low visibility in the area, no Phoenix-bound flights were allowed to leave Las Vegas or Los Angeles airports until 9 p.m., and flights at the airport were grounded for about an hour.

My Heart Bleeds For Them??

Golfers complain of being groped by female models at fundraising tournament

One of my firm beliefs is that when life imitates Benny Hill, you go with it. But such is not the case in Australia, apparently. The horror occurred in Melbourne recently, where guests at a corporate golf event report that they were “groped” by two female promotional models  But that’s not all:

“The girls were walking around opening up their bras and letting anyone see and feel their breasts. One of them flashed and then pushed her breasts right up against me.”

It happened at the Darwin Golf Course, according to the NT News, where Darwin Life magazine had sponsored the seventh hole at the fundraiser and hired the models to promote the publication.

“When guys went to tee off the girls stood behind them and humped them. One girl threaded a frangipani through her nipple ring and said ‘take this’. I was extremely uncomfortable.
But it didn’t end there. A third source said:
“I went to get a beer from the esky and one of the girls jumped into the esky, bent over in my face, passed the beer through her legs and said ‘I’ve got a wedgie … Oh I gave that to myself’.
“I think it was all meant to be in good fun but they went way too far.”

Courts Accept Any Old Excuse!

Postman thief avoids jail because of 'rollercoaster trauma'

A parcel-stealing postman has walked free after a judge heard of the 'trauma' he suffered on a French rollercoaster.

George Ramplin, 43, who had worked as a postman for 22 years, was caught hoarding packages containing DVDs and CDs in the run-up to Christmas last year.
He was immediately sacked by Royal Mail but avoided prison after telling the court of the 'trauma' he suffered after riding the Big Thunder Mountain attraction at Disneyland, Paris.
Ramplin's barrister Katrina Jamieson claimed the rollercoaster brought back memories of a tragic accident he was involved in as a child.
Seven children and a teacher died in a minibus crash in Harwich, Essex, in 1978, which Ramplin survived despite suffering head injuries.
Ms Jamieson told Chelmsford Crown Court: 'Thunder Mountain is a very fast, frightening rollercoaster ride.'
She explained that the ride had caused flashbacks which had taken away Ramplin's confidence and caused him to lose two-and-a-half stone.
Judge Laura Harris said post traumatic stress disorder provided an explanation 'for this completely irrational' behaviour, adding: 'This is a tragedy for you and your family.'
She imposed a six-month community order with a six-month curfew between 7pm and 7am and ordered Ramplin to pay £350 costs.
Postman Richard O'Brien recently pleaded guilty to stealing parcels from Royal Mail and was given a six-month jail sentence suspended for 18 months. He was also ordered to carry out 180 hours of unpaid work and pay £1,000 in costs.

All He Needs Is The Custard!!

Elderly man accused of stealing rhubarb from allotment

An eighty-eight-year-old 'law abiding' great grandfather has been left 'devastated' after police accused him of 'taking' rhubarb from an allotment

Green fingered Bill Foster was accused of taking the rhubarb from an allotment near the allotment he tends at picture postcard Yetminster, near Sherborne, Dorset.
Two officers quizzed shocked retired local government officer Mr Foster - who has never been in trouble with the police in his life - for 15 minutes after they knocked on his door
But yesterday outraged Mr Foster said the only rhubarb he had taken was from an allotment rented by parish councillor Rev John Parfitt who had given him permission.
"I am devastated by what has happened. The police came knocking on my door after someone had reported me for taking it but I had permission to take the Rhubarb.
"I took four sticks of rhubarb two or three times a month but I had permission from the Rev Parfitt.
Then the police came knocking on my door - they came to see about it. This is the first time I have crossed the police and I am 88 years of age. The police said there had been reports I had been taking rhubarb from the allotment."
Yesterday Phil Lashbrook - who has had an allotment there for 55 years - said another allotment holder Michael Bird had reported the matter to the police
"Mr Bird saw him taking rhubarb. Seven or eight of us have signed a petition asking him (Mr Foster) to go. We sent it to the parish council.
"But the parish council said it was a police matter and to report it to the police"
Mr Bird added:"I reported him because he was taking stuff from my allotment."
The parish council rent the 20 allotments out for 20 pounds a years to local people.
Yesterday The Rev John Parfitt - who used to be the Director of Education for the Diocese of Bath and Wells - confirmed:"I gave Mr Foster permission to take my rhubarb but what happened with the rest of the allotment holders I have not got a clue." Dorset Police yesterday said officers had been to the village - but no offences been committed.
"We have made inquiries and have spoken to all parties but no offences were committed. Words of advice have been given."
Rhubarb, a perennial and seasonal plant, has stalks that are often cooked and used in pies and other foods for their distinctive tart flavour. It is usually stewed and served with custard, or found in jams and crumbles. It is one of the first food plants ready for harvest in the UK, usually in the months of April and May, and grows all the way through summer until the autumn, so is quite easy to cultivate at this time of year.

Far-Out Bunnies??

Drugs plot raid reveals old woman feeding rabbits with cannabis

Police in Brandenburg who discovered a large plot of cannabis called on the neighbouring house only to find an 84-year-old woman who had been feeding her rabbits with the plants.
“The rabbits really like it,” the woman told officers who called on her in the village of Golzow near Belzig, according to Saturday’s Tagesspiegel.
A police officer had seen the healthy, metre-high plants from the road while on his way to work and told his colleagues, who visited the plot’s owner – the elderly woman.

She told them that she had not grown the plants herself, but that they had simply started growing there, and had proven to be excellent rabbit food. Not only did the rabbits love eating the plants, they grew back very quickly after she cut them down, she told the investigating officers.
A spokesman for the Brandenburg police said her explanation had sounded plausible, but the officers could not leave her with the plants, rather cut them all down and took them to the forensics laboratory for testing.
The three large plastic sacks of weed will now be tested to determine the level of THC – the psycho-active ingredient in cannabis - they contain. There was no official comment on what the elderly woman was expected to feed her rabbits with now.

Beggar's Belief

Homeless men sue over US begging ban

Five homeless men are suing a city in Virginia, claiming that a new law against begging violates their right to freedom of speech under the US constitution.

The group, which is led by an illiterate man in his 50s called Albert Clatterbuck, alleges that authorities in Charlottesville are illegally restricting an "expressive activity protected by the First Amendment".

They have been banned from asking for money at the Charlottesville downtown mall, which according to city tourism literature is "one of the most beautiful and successful" shopping areas in the US.

Visitors to the mall can "enjoy dining al fresco at a number of fine restaurants, shop at any of the unique boutiques or meander by flowing fountains", it says.

A new law that may help maintain the mall's respectable image bans "soliciting money or other things of value" within a 50-foot radius, whether verbally or via an "outstretched hand, an extended cup or hat".

Mr Clatterbuck – along with Christopher Martin, Earl McCraw, John Jordan and Michael Sloan – says the city is stopping them from seeking "funds for their own wellbeing".

"Each of the plaintiffs is impecunious and reliant to a certain extent on begging to sustain himself," states the lawsuit, which says it is unfair to criminalise some forms of speech while allowing others.

The men, who are in their 30s, 40s and 50s, are seeking an injunction against the law and financial compensation.

"They just want to assert their rights," said their lawyer, Jeffrey Fogel. "This is not just about homeless people, it's about what the city restricted all of us from doing in public places".

"There has been lots of negative reaction locally," Mr Fogel told The Daily Telegraph, comparing the case to black civil rights cases of the 20th century. "People say 'these bums should get a job'.

"But it's not like they don't want to. They are mentally or physically unable, and have the right to request assistance."

Mr Fogel said the new law was part of a broader trend of scapegoating poor people for America's economic woes. "Plenty of people born with a silver spoon in their mouth are laggards all their life," he said.

However Dave Norris, the Mayor of Charlottesville, rejected the accusation. He said the law was needed to stop beggars distracting drivers at two important road crossings and annoying diners at the mall's restaurants. But they are free to "panhandle" elsewhere in the city, he said.

"The restriction also applies to musicians and people trying to raise money for non-profit groups," said Mr Norris. "We're not unfairly targeting homeless people. As long as it's applied equally, there's no problem."

Mr Norris said Charlottesville was a "very compassionate community" investing heavily in schemes to help the homeless. "We're certainly not turning a blind eye to the problem," he said. "But there's better ways to help them than giving money on the street.".