This Is For Real!!!!

Hot dog 'must be redesigned to reduce choking hazard'

The respected American Academy of Paediatrics is calling for sweeping changes in the way hot dogs are designed and labelled to minimise the chances of youngsters dying.

Every year food-related choking kills up to 77 children in the US and up to 15,000 more are treated in emergency rooms.

About 17 per cent of the food-related chokings are caused by hot dogs, according to a report by the academy.

It wants to see the shape of hot dogs "redesigned" to stop them lodging in children's throats.

The academy said: "Food manufacturers should design new foods, and redesign existing foods, including meat products, to avoid shapes, sizes, texture and other characteristics that increase choking risk to children."

Lead report author Gary Smith, director of the Center for Injury Research and Policy at Nationwide Children's Hospital in Columbus, Ohio, told USA Today: "If you were to take the best engineers in the world and try to design the perfect plug for a child's airway, it would be a hot dog." "I'm a paediatric emergency doctor, and to try to get them out once they're wedged in, it's almost impossible." The academy also said other high-risk foods including raw carrots, grapes and apples, should be cut into pea-sized pieces for small children. Other risky foods included marshmallows and peanut butter which could form a "tenacious seal" in a child's airway.

US federal law requires choking warning labels on certain toys including small balls, balloons and games with small parts.

Unless food makers voluntarily put more warning labels on high-risk foods, there should be a similar mandate for food, the academy said.

……….Have these people nothing better to do???? Let’s start labelling fruit or perhaps water, if you drink too quickly!!!!……..What a fucking dreadful society we now have to live in!!!!!

Gnome Alone

Gnome poster removed before Medvedev visit?

Theater posters proclaiming "We await you, merry gnome" were taken down from a Russian town shortly before a visit by the country's diminutive President Dmitry Medvedev, a local website reported on Friday.

The advertisements were for a children's theater show, but were removed from a street that the president's convoy was due to use on his visit to Omsk on February 12, the nr2.ru website reports, citing local sources.

Russian media say Medvedev is 5 feet, 4 inches tall.

The poster depicted a child fairy but was one of a number of sudden renovation projects that took place ahead of the Medvedev's visit, it reported, quoting bloggers and journalists.

The authorities recommended that fresh snow should be sprinkled over older dirty snow as part of the facelift, it said.

……….I do hope Sarky doesn’t hear about this!!!!

A Name To Far!

Risque bridge regains original Tickle Cock name

A bridge which was renamed by a politically correct council has regained its original Victorian name of Tickle Cock Bridge.

When the bridge was part of a recent regeneration scheme, council bosses tried to change the potentially smutty name from Tickle Cock to Tittle Cott.

They even erected a plaque baring the new name - but locals were not going to take it lying down and mounted a campaign to restore the glory of Tickle Cock.

Residents said the risque name was part of their local history and dated back to the late 19th century... and many of them had good memories.

Wakefield district council have now agreed to revert to using the original name and provided a replacement plaque. Which will no doubt get stolen and placed in a teenage boy's bedroom.

A Trip Out!

Escaped hippo returns home

n the end, the zoo keeper was right. The 2-ton hippo that escaped from a zoo in Montenegro has returned home, without hurting anyone.

Some officials said Nikica should be shot and killed when it escaped from a zoo on a small island in a lake, and entered a nearby residential area.

Flooding had allowed the animal to swim over the cage surrounding its pen, and hippos are considered one of the world's most dangerous species.

But Dragan Pejovic, the owner of the private zoo, said Nikica was being monitored and returning to the island from time to time to eat bread and hay.

On Wednesday, 9 days after its escape, Nikica walked through the open door of its gate and returned to its pen.

Pejovic says he is happy his hippo didn't attack anyone while it was away.

For The High Jump

'Rabbit jumping' club launches in UK

A woman has launched what is claimed to be the UK's first ever rabbit jumping club.

Retired office worker and rabbit breeder Maureen Hoyle of Huddersfield, West Yorkshire was inspired to set up Rabbit Jumping UK after a visit to Sweden, The Seferm Post reports.

Hoyle said: "The rabbits love it. The rabbits are very agile and a lot of people are surprised by what they can do. The rabbits have to clear the jump without touching it.

"In more serious competitions the obstacle has a delicately balanced weight at the top which will fall if the rabbit makes contact. That will add a penalty to the rabbit's total time."

The competition is reportedly popular in Scandinavia, with world champions able to leap heights of up to three feet.

Tee Up!!!

Dog swallows 13 golf balls

A Pet pooch stunned vets when they found he had eaten a total of 13 golf balls.

Owner, Chris Morrison, who walks Oscar the black labrador around his local golf course, became concerned when he could hear a rattling noise from the dog's stomach.

Concerned about Oscar's health, he took the five-year-old pooch to the vet and both parties were amazed when they discovered the source of the rattling.

When Oscar was operated on, his vet found a total of 13 golf balls inside him that the swallowed during his golfcourse walks.

A Wii For Women

Sock It To Me!!

Novelty sock ban for paramedics

Ambulance chiefs are threatening to sack paramedics if they insist on wearing novelty socks.

Uniformed staff have been barred from wearing socks with images of cartoon characters, jokes and garish patterns after bosses branded them "unprofessional".

North West Ambulance Service's new uniform policy also bans wrist watches, visible body piercing, excessive make-up and certain tattoos.
Staff have been warned they could be disciplined and ultimately even sacked if they flout the dress code which forms part of their terms of employment.

However, the move have been condemned by critics who have dismissed the novelty sock ban as a step too far, reports the Daily Telegraph.

Jonathan Fox, a spokesman for the Association of Professional Ambulance Personnel, said: "I am a firm believer in having a dress code but this is stretching the rules too far. The majority of staff wear boots so their socks can't even be seen.

"North West Ambulance Service should be addressing more important issues like why paramedic training has been stalled for months."

"To concentrate on socks seems fairly innocuous - it's not like there's been an epidemic of novelty sock wearing! Perhaps this is just something to divert our attention from the bigger issues."

Jon Lenney, NW Ambulance Service Director of Organisational Development, said: "We would expect our staff to wear uniforms provided and do not feel that novelty socks with slogans and images are appropriate for presenting a professional image to patients and members of the public.

"The trust does provide full uniform, including plain dark socks, and as the role of frontline staff requires physical movement socks can be visible."

How Not To Advertise Your Zoo!!