All In The Mind??

Woman kicked out of church over ad

The star of an erectile dysfunction awareness commercial in Australia has been kicked out of her church until the ad comes off air.

Libby Ashby told Melbourne-based radio station 3AW she had been "disfellowshipped" from her local congregation after appearing in the ad.

In the cheesy ad, she uses her screen husband's penis for a leg up to reach a biscuit from a high shelf while a voiceover says: "Take the right step towards erection problems."

"They have said I would not be reinstated until the ad comes off the air," Ashby said, while not identifying which church she attends.

Ashby, a single mother, said she knew when she was filming the AMI ad that it was in poor taste.

But she said she had taken the job because of the money.

"My Visa was calling out for mercy," she said. "It was against my better judgment to do it. I don't like to offend people."

Hi There!!

Waving polar bear in Arctic greeting

The polar bear cuts a welcoming and slightly camp figure on an iceberg, but tourists would be advised not to get too well acquainted with the ferocious animals.

It was during a cruise through Svalbard in the Arctic that 54-year-old Hans Strand snapped the fame-hungry bear as he came out to wave hello to the excited crowd.

It was third time lucky for Hans who missed the amazing moment the first two times and had to wait for the bear to climb out of his snowy bed again.

The polar bear would be well-advised to meet fellow wave enthusiast Darren the goat.

The billy goat mastered his trick after a group of youngsters who visited his enclosure first waved at him as they left.

Student Snacks??

Students being taught to cook roadkill for dinner to stave off debts

Perhaps one group of young scholars has the answer – roadkill.

As part of a degree course, they are scraping up the remains of pheasants, rabbits and even, in one case, a deer, off the roads and learning how to butcher them.

What’s left over, they take home to eat.

A staff member who has worked at their university for almost ten years said: ‘The group would find all sorts of animals at the side of the road.

‘They were used for class demonstrations to show how butchering methods have developed throughout history.

‘But, after the lesson, we’d be left with piles of meat – so we’d have a barbecue.’

Students at Bournemouth University said the sessions left them scrambling to find more roadkill in their own time.

One, a 23-year-old studying forensic archaeology, said: ‘After a few bites, I forgot I was eating an animal that had its brains smashed in by a car.’

Steve Stone, environmental health officer for the New Forest District Council, said anyone eating roadkill should make sure they were aware of the risks they were taking, adding: ‘I don’t think it’s something that people should experiment with unless they are aware of the health of the animal and the condition of it.’

A Mini Problem

Italian town bans scanty clothing

Skimpily clothed women in the town of Castellammare di Stabia in southern Italy are to be fined by the police under new regulations banning "very scanty clothing".

The ban will include skirts judged to be too short, jeans that are too low-slung and necklines that are too plunging and is intended to guard against antisocial behaviour.

Mayor Luigi Bobbio, of Italy's ruling People of Freedom Party, defended the much-derided new legislation which prompted a small protest by female members of the opposition Democratic Party who held a Miniskirt Day rally.

"Miniskirts are not included in the ban," Mr Bobbio said before the vote.

"Miniskirts are not considered very scanty clothing unless they're so small that they are no longer a skirt and they leave the undergarment showing."

Following the vote, he said the ban made Castellammare "a civilised city".

The new rules also ban blaspheming, sunbathing in public and playing football in many public areas - a hugely popular pastime in the town.

Prime minister Silvio Berlusconi's government has given Italy's mayors greater powers to enforce measures seen as improving public order.

A Nut Hunt

Squirrel in transformer puts Ohio school on alert

Police said a lock-down at an Ohio high school resulted from an errant squirrel. Brookhaven High School in Columbus went on alert shortly after 8 a.m. Monday - about a half-hour into the school day - because of reports that shots had been fired in the area.

WCMH-TV reported investigators found that a noise resembling gunfire had come from an electric transformer malfunctioning after a squirrel got inside.

The school's precautionary lock-down was lifted shortly after 8:30.

Wash Day Blues!!

Man throws washing machine out of window

A man in Germany has got himself in trouble with the authorities after he threw his washing machine out of his 8th floor window - because he couldn't be bothered to carry it down.

48-year-old Gunther Koenig was, apparently, too lazy to carry the old washing machine down from his eighth floor flat, and so instead took the more direct route of chucking it out of the window for his Freiburg apartment.

The washing machine promptly exploded into hundreds of pieces on impact, scattering debris over a wide area and the road needed to be closed for a short while so that the mess could be cleared up.

Koenig told Local media: 'I don't know what the fuss was about - I checked there was no one underneath before I dropped it.

Armless!!

Rescuers free man with arm stuck down toilet

Chinese rescuers have freed a man after he got his arm stuck in a toilet pipe in an attempt to retrieve his mobile phone.

Emergency workers in eastern China say they found the man crouched over the toilet with his entire arm submerged in the drain.

They broke the porcelain bowl with crowbars and hammered the pipes, taking care not to injure the man.

They also managed to find the man's phone, but it no longer works.

It is not clear how the man managed to call for help.

Bum Rap?

Man denies cocaine found in buttocks is his

When sheriff's deputies allegedly discovered a bags of marijuana and cocaine between a man's buttocks, they said he gave a quick explanation. Manatee County deputies said Raymond Stanley Roberts told them "The white stuff is not mine, but the weed is."

Deputies stopped the 25-year-old Wednesday in Bradenton for speeding. Officers said they smelled marijuana and searched him. That's when they allegedly found a bag of marijuana between Roberts' buttocks.

Officers then discovered another bag in there; the report said it contained 27 pieces of rock cocaine.

The Bradenton Herald reported Roberts was arrested for drug possession and has bonded out of jail. The person who answered Friday at a phone number listed for Roberts said it wasn't his.

Anger Management??

Woman stabbed during anger management class

A woman in Bellvue, Wash., is accused of stabbing another woman during an anger management class.

The Seattle Times reports that Faribah Maradiaga is charged with second-degree assault after police allege she "blew up out of control" and stabbed a classmate in the arm and shoulder several times with a three-inch blade Saturday.

Maradiaga was reportedly complaining about a video the class was watching, when the victim told her "the video was good and to give it a chance." The two women exchanged words and violence broke out, police said.

Maradiaga, who was already facing another pending assault charge, reportedly told police the other woman started it.

A Goat’s Revenge?

Killer mountain goat strikes in US

Despite what PETA would have you believe, not all animals are cute and friendly. In fact some are psychopathic nut-jobs -- like a certain mountain goat.

A 63-year-old hiker has died in the US after he was attacked by an aggressive mountain goat on Klahhane Ridge in Olympic National Park.

Robert Boardman had been out walking with his wife in Washington when they were approached by the goat as they ate lunch.

He tried to shoo the crazed animal away, but the ram -- which was known to rangers as being aggressive -- charged and gored him in the leg.

Park rangers said they had tried conditioning the goat to be scared of people by shooting it with bean bags… maybe they just aggravated it.

Boardman was taken to hospital but was unfortunately pronounced dead. The goat was also killed.

A Bedtime Story?

Sleepy bra

A Spanish woman has been arrested after wearing a bra packed with sedatives to steal from men.

Veronica Palmez, 35, put her victims to sleep by using the stash of pills and police claim at least one man died after she spiked his drink.

A police spokesperson said: "We believe she targeted married men who were then too embarrassed to report what happened. We believe there are many more cases of people who woke up with a sore head and relieved of their possessions who did not report it. And in one case we believe a 59-year-old man who was one of the victims did not wake up at all."

Veronica denies ever knowing the man and claims she simply wanted to put her victims to sleep in order to steal their wallets.

Wolverines??

Traffic cop charged by wolves

A traffic police officer in Russia had to dive for cover - when a pack of wild wolves started chasing after him on a motorway.

The shocked officer had pulled over a motorist who had a headlight out on the M23 highway, near Rostov-on-Don.

Suddenly, he spotted the pack of maurauding wolves behind him and jumped into the back of the car he had just stopped.

The officer stayed inside the car until the 10-strong pack of wolves had passed by before returning to his patrol car.

Wolves have been in the news in Russia this week following a seperate accident in which wolves attacking shoppers in a Moscow supermarket car park.

The two wolves were caught on camera by passers-by who filmed them scavenging in grocery bags dropped by scared shoppers.

The animals, thought to be grey wolves, appear to have overcome any fear of humans in their search for food

Bill Wins Again!!

Merlin the dolphin prefers PC over Mac

Merlin, the bottlenose dolphin who had his own iPad before the tablet even hit shelves in most countries, has traded in the trendy device for a tougher alternative.

Merlin was using the iPad in June at a dolphin facility in Puerto Aventuras, Mexico, identifying objects by tapping the screen with his beak. It’s all a part of the SpeakDolphin project that aims to build a complete language interface between humans and dolphins.

But when it comes to teaching dolphins how to communicate with humans, Windows is apparently the superior operating system.

After trying out a few different tablets, SpeakDolphin chose to use Panasonic’s Toughbook 30 notebook and Toughbook 19 convertible tablet.

“He was more comfortable with the Toughbook experience, which offered greater screen visibility and sensitivity. We were able to hold the Toughbook notebooks closer to the water and our bodies, which makes the dolphin more comfortable and willing to interact and learn,” said Jack Kassewitz, president of SpeakDolphin.

I’ve Had Enough?

Partner stabs grandmom for 'nagging for 30 years'

Grandmother Judith Scott, 62, was found with a knife sticking out of her chest at her home  after a 999 call by Dennis Long, the Daily Mail reported.

Long, who denies a charge of murder, told police in the emergency call that he had killed her, saying: 'I just lost it. She gave me grief so I knifed her.' 
Prosecutors claim Long, 59, murdered Scott in North Shields in March this year.

Newcastle Crown Court heard Long had returned home from watching Newcastle play Bristol City at a pub, and was upset at receiving abuse from a man on his way home.

Later that night, an argument flared between the pair and Long stabbed her to death before dialling 999.

Former plumber Long does not dispute inflicting the fatal injuries, but claims he was provoked by Scott being abusive towards him and repeatedly nagging him.

Long said Scott would lash out at him during frequent rows, hitting him with her fists, hurling ornaments at him and regularly attacking him with a heavy poker.

Asked how many times he had been hit with the poker, he  said: 'Over 30 years, dozens of times'.

Long said: 'She started calling me weak, she said I was weak, it was constant, I would go out and come back in and it would start again.
'She said I was weak, a pansy, a poof, she said she should wear the trousers and I should wear a dress, she kept going on saying I was weak.

'I snapped. I remember looking at the knife, I remember seeing the knife but between that and standing in front of her I don't know. It was peaceful. There was no sound, it was just quiet.
'I do remember thrusting the knife.'

Mrs Scott's daughter, Kerry Scott, told jurors she had seen her mother being nasty to Long but said she couldn't believe her stepfather, who 'hated violence', had killed her.

Miss Scott, 37, who said her children regarded Long as their grandfather, added: 'When police said my mum was dead I was shocked, even more so when they said Dennis had been arrested for it.'
The trial continues.

Who Can Blame Him??

Englishman fined for racism after insulting Welsh policeman

Lorry driver Royce Mackett, 51, called in police after his mobile phone was stolen.

But a court heard he had a "heated" exchange when two officers from South Wales police arrived to investigate.

Prosecutor Lucy Dowdall said: "He told them: 'I don't like you because you're Welsh, you're breathing and you're here'."

Mackett was charged with using racially aggravated threatening words by magistrates in Rhondda, South Wales.

The court heard Mackett was an Englishman who had moved to live in the Welsh valleys for work - but was now living off disability benefits after a traffic accident.

Mackett spelt out his address in Aberllechau Road, Rhondda, in court after telling magistrates he could not pronounce the Welsh names.

Anthony Ormond, defending, said: "He was slightly aggrieved at the lack of progress being made by the officers.

"Yes, there were insulting words of a racist element but there was no violence offered to the officers."

Mackett was fined £35 with £85 costs after admitting using racially aggravated threatening words.

Play The Game!!

German footballer sneakily gropes female referee

A football player in Germany has been caught sneakily groping the boobs of a female referee -- during a game on live TV.

Hertha Berlin defender Peter Niemeyer claims the incident was an accident, but many claim this TV footage suggests otherwise.

Niemeyer was playing in the second division Bundesliga game against Alemannia Aachen and after a ruling from ref Bibiana Steinhaus, says he went to pat her on the back.

But Steinhaus - who was refereeing her first live TV match - had stepped backwards meaning the player instead ended up cupping her left breast. He didn't end up scoring… the game ended 0-0.

Milked??

Cow rescue

Fire-fighters in England have rescued a cow that fell ten feet down a well.

The one-year-old bovine landed in the muddy water at the bottom of the well without severe injury, and was rescued by a total of 11 experts.

Adam Martin, a rural safety officer and crew manager from Wiltshire, said: "The cow was in an extremely confined space and would have been very frightened by what had happened, so the challenge was to get her sedated and then lifted free.

"The water was drained from the well, which allowed the vet access to carry out sedation."
The cow is now believed to be recovering well.

Commuter??

Pensioner drives down railway platform

After taking a wrong turn, the confused OAP ended up on the London-bound platform of Esher Station in Surrey and drove 75 yards down it in his Saab, with his wife in the passenger seat.

Chaos ensued, with passengers jumping out of the way and a Waterloo train timetabled to stop passing straight through on safety grounds.

Astonished onlookers quickly dialled 999 and British Transport Police eventually managed to manoeuvre the car back onto a public road.

Eye-witness Suzan Baker, 47, of Esher, said she was gobsmacked by what she saw. She told the Daily Mail: 'I was absolutely amazed when I saw the car on the platform. It was not what you expect to see.

'Everyone was doing a double take and wondering what on earth the car was doing there.

'When I got to the platform, the car was parked and the man was standing outside.

'He looked so mortified and embarrassed. He had driven the entire length of the platform, bless him, then reached the point where he could not go any further forward.’

The man passed a breathalyser test, but was arrested on suspicion of dangerous driving.

Not Too Bright!!

Pizza driver falls for 'mom is in the shower' scam

A pizza driver made a delivery Tuesday to a house in Hoquiam where a child answered the door, took the pizza and said his mother was in the shower and would be out to pay soon. KBKW reported the driver waited about 30 minutes before calling police.

Officers found the house was vacant and the child apparently escaped with the pizza out the back door.

Don’t Disturb

Sleepy bear in tree challenges firefighters

Firefighters in Bend, Ore., are trained for rescues - even for saving a 300-pound black bear passed out 60 feet up a tree.

Police say the bear was knocking over trash cans and making other mischief Monday night in a city neighborhood before it scrambled up the tree. KTVZ-TV says Fish and Wildlife workers went to remove it and shot it with multiple tranquilizers because of its size.

After the bear nodded off, two firefighters climbed up and put harnesses on it, then took their time carefully lowering the bear to safety.

Bend fire engineer Tom Edwards tells the TV station it all went well.

Dangerous Veg!!

Woman fends off bear with courgette

A woman has used a courgette to fend off a 91kg black bear in her back garden in Montana, USA.

The bear attacked one of the woman's dogs, but fleed when she hurled the vegetable at it, reports the Associated Press.

Missoula County Sheriff's Lt Rich Maricelli said: "She kicked the bear with her left leg as hard as she could."

But the animal would not retreat until struck by a 14-inch courgetted plucked from the home owner's garden.

All three dogs were uninjured and the black bear is still to be caught.

American Know How??

Phew….Now’s That’s Work!!

"Father" of 55 children arrested in suspected benefits scam

The 54 year-old of African origin, who authorities did not identify, was arrested in his two-room flat in Paris during a police raid which yielded documents showing more than 50 people were registered as living at that address.

Police suspect the man was involved in a social benefits scam which could have been costing the state over 1 million euros ($1.27 million) annually in claims by the mothers.

"At the moment 42 women have been identified and each claim that the man is the biological father of their child," Paris police said in a statement.

Authorities said the man claimed he met the women at bars, night spots and occasionally during visits to their home countries, including Senegal, Cameroon and Mali.

For a fee of 150 to 200 euros, he registered the children and their mothers with French authorities, enabling them to obtain residency permits and claim social benefits.

Some of the mothers told authorities they had received up to about 7,500 euros on various monthly allowances.

"Investigations are on-going and an investigating magistrate will decide whether DNA tests have to be administered to determine the children's paternity," a police spokesman said.

They’re Here?

UFO shuts down airport

Witnesses claim they saw a 'flat and tubular' object hovering around two miles from Baotou, Inner Mongolia, forcing three flights from Beijing and Shanghai to be diverted to airports nearby.

The panic apparently stemmed from the Unidentified Flying Object circling the airport and vanishing without warning.

It was first spotted by air traffic controllers in Hohhot, the capital of Inner Mongolia, who noticed the mysterious figure on their radar screens.

After attempting to make contact with it - and failing - they sent out warnings to the airport in Baotou.

Though Chinese authorities have refused to comment on the incident, an airport spokeswoman said that the diversions were carried out 'to avoid a collision'.

The incident joins seven other sightings in China since the end of June.

Flag-Flying!!

Conn. man stole flag, put up hippo toy

Call it the case of the flying hippo. Connecticut police said a man stole an American flag from Waterbury's Town Plot Park and hoisted a stuffed hippopotamus toy in its place. Twenty-three-year-old Jeffrey Kovic, of Waterbury, was arrested and was being held in lieu of $100,000 bail on misdemeanor larceny, criminal mischief and conspiracy charges.

Kovic was arrested Tuesday. A message left for his public defender Friday wasn't immediately returned.

City police told the Republican-American of Waterbury that they're also seeking arrest warrants for several minors suspected of taking part in last week's prank and for damaging park bleachers.

Surprise…Surprise?

Dozens of NYC taxi drivers accused of charging double fare

Fifty-nine of the worst alleged offenders were arrested on Wednesday, but officials said the criminal cases represented the tip of the iceberg, and that up to 22,000 drivers were believed to have deployed the fare trick before the city took steps to stop the practice in the spring.

Forty-five of the drivers arrested were charged with felony or scheming to defraud, while misdemeanour petty larceny cases have been lodged against another 14.

Six drivers reeled in more than $10,000 (£6,400) apiece by repeatedly bumping their meters up to a higher suburban rate when they actually were in the city, the Manhattan district attorney's office said.

One driver overcharged more than 5,100 times between November 2008 and June 2010, prosecutors said.

Unsuspecting passengers overpaid an average of about $5, officials said. But they said the overcharges added up to a sprawling scam among the cabs.

The city's 13,000 taxis are now equipped with warning systems that alert passengers if the higher rate is being charged.

The New York Taxi Workers Alliance, an advocacy group, criticised the criminal cases, derived from data collected through taxi technology that includes GPS systems.

Drivers said some seeming overcharges were actually honest mistakes. Taxi Commissioner David Yassky said in May that cabbies who overcharged once or twice would not be punished.

Women Drivers!!!

Motorist gets herself into a tight squeeze

This motorist managed the impossible after squeezing herself in between a barrier and a passing truck.

She found herself in the unexpected predicament after stopping for petrol and then trying to return to the main road in Germany.

35-year-old Gabriele Bayer, from Sittensen, apparently misjudged the amount of slip road she had available to her after a visit to a petrol station, which led to this strange predicament.

The hapless driver soon found her Renault saloon car sandwich between the huge truck and a crash barrier - or crush barrier, if you will.

A police officer at the scene believes it was lucky no one in the vehicle - which included various members of her family - was hurt in the incident.

'Her car was dragged for about 150 metres along the top of the barrier with herself, two children and her 78-year-old mother inside,' he said.

'They were all pretty lucky to walk away from it.'

French Farmer Is Bailed?

French Farmer is Bailed??

It’s A Poodle??

Poodle disrupts commuter trains

A runaway poodle has been blamed for disrupting a number of commuter trains in Oakland, California, after jumping onto the tracks.

The dog, which appeared to be travelling on its own, jumped down from a train before bounding onto the tracks and down a tunnel.

The mischievous mutt caused delays along the Bay Area Rapid Transit (BART) lines in and out of the Lake Merritt station in Oakland, California, on Thursday morning.

Despite transit police and station operators mounting a search for the wayward dog, it managed to escape any punishment from angry commuters.

BART spokesman Linton Johnson stated that the poodle was last seen exiting the tracks above ground a little further along the line, joking that he hope the dog 'had a ticket to ride'.

Hovering Up!!

Vacuum heist gang suck up cash from supermarket tills

The gang has found a way of plugging into the pneumatic tubes used to transport notes from tills to safes, then sucking out the money with a modified vacuum cleaner.

‘These are sophisticated, hi-tech criminals who know exactly what they are doing,’ said police.

The thieves, who have stolen about £750,000 in at least 15 raids across Paris since 2006, last struck on Monday, when they took £100,000 from a Monoprix store in the Paris suburb of Saint-Ouen.

‘We are certain there are at least two men involved and they have exploited a weakness in supermarket cash systems,’ officers added.

'Effectively they find a quiet place in store, drill a hole in the pneumatic tubes which transport money around the store, and then suck money out using their own vacuum cleaner. The cash is neatly rolled in tubes which makes it very easy to get out.'