Bottled?? Beer

Beer on sale packaged in dead squirrels

A Scottish brewery has created the world's strongest and most expensive beer and are selling the bottles packaged inside dead squirrels and stoats.

BrewDog brewery made the drink, which contains 55% alcohol, but have come under fire from animal rights activists for their unusual choice of packaging.

Libby Anderson, Advocates for Animals policy director told BBC Scotland: "It's pointless and it's very negative to use dead animals when we should be celebrating live animals. This seems to be a perverse idea."

BrewDog managing director James Watt told AFP: "For the final instalment in the strong beer series, we wanted to create something epic, something monumental."

The limited edition beer cost £700 for a squirrel bottle or £500 for a stoat bottle and sold out within hours of going on sale.

Buzz Off!!

Swarm of 30,000 bees that 'turned the sky black'

A swarm of 30,000 bees surrounded a home in Lincolnshire "turning the sky black".

Phil Sanderson, 34, said the sound of the insects was the equivalent to " a crowd of people blowing vuvuzelas".

The swarm initially swirled around the father of three's home so loudly that he couldn't hear his partner Serena Reed, 34, talking.

After an hour the bees clumped together into a 2ft long 'grape' on a nearby 10ft high conifer tree before flying away.

Mr Sanderson, a mail order catalogue worker who photographed the bees at home in Pinchbeck, near Spalding, Lincs., said the noise sounded "exactly like being at a World Cup game".

He said: "At first I didn't know what it was, it looked like a black snow blizzard all around the house and sounded like we'd been surrounded by people blowing vuvuzelas.

"But when I saw it was bees I was horrified. It was a bit of a rush to shut the windows to make sure none of them got in.

"I still can't believe it when I look at the pictures, the last thing you expect is to be surrounded by 30,000 bees."

Fruity

Motorists steal away with runaway melons

Melons fell out the back of a truck and prompted a traffic jam

Police in Switzerland were less than impressed on Saturday when motorists helped themselves to melons that fell out the back of a Spanish truck and prompted a traffic jam.

Drivers immediately behind the lorry "reacted well" when the rear doors or the lorry swung open for unknown reasons, sending "a large number of loaded melon cartons" onto the highway, local police in Basel city said.

But amid the ensuing tailback that stretched 2.5 kilometres (1.5 miles), "a few (motorists) simply stopped and helped themselves to one or a few of these melons" on the A3 motorway that links Basel with Zurich, it said.

A patrol unit was dispatched to "secure the site" and clean up the runaway fruit.

Road Kill!

Workmen paint around dead badger

Workmen painting white lines on a main road left a gap for a dead badger lying in the middle of it - because it 'wasn't their responsibility' to clear it up.

The animal had been killed on the A338 near Downton, on the Hampshire-Wiltshire border, but when council workmen came to paint white lines in the centre of the road they decided to leave a space until the body had been removed.

Hampshire County Council has responsibility for line painting in the area, but it's up to New Forest District Council to clear any road kill.

Businessman Kevin Maul was on his way home from work when he clocked the break in the road's lines.

'I couldn't quite believe my eyes when I saw this poor old badger who had been there over a week,' he said.

'I'd seen him every day as I went by and wondered if he was going to be picked up.

'Then on Friday I drove home to see his body between the lines - they had painted the road, but left a gap where he lay.'

The badger has since been removed and the painting is scheduled for completion today.

Bottle It??

Divers find oldest champagne in Baltic wreck

A group of divers exploring a shipwreck in the Baltic Sea have found bottles containing what is thought to be the oldest drinkable champagne in the world, made in the late 18th century. "I picked up one champagne bottle just so we could find the age of the wreck, because we didn't find any name or any details that would have told us the name of the ship," diver Christian Ekstrom from Aland told Reuters on Saturday.

Ekstrom and his Swedish diving colleagues opened the bottle and tasted the contents.

"It was fantastic... it had a very sweet taste, you could taste oak and it had a very strong tobacco smell. And there were very small bubbles," he said.

Experts said the shape of the bottle showed it was from the late 18th century, and the bottle and its contents have been sent to champagne specialists in France to be analysed.

"We are 98 percent sure that it is Veuve Clicquot champagne and that it was probably (made) between 1772 (the year the business was established) and 1785," Ekstrom said, adding that the cargo vessel was probably sailing to St Petersburg, then the capital of Russia.

He said they had found the wine on their first dive and did not yet know how many bottles the wreck contained or what other cargo it carried.

The current title of the world's oldest champagne is held by Perrier-Jouet, which has two bottles from 1825.

Richard Juhlin, a Swedish champagne specialist, told the newspaper Alandstidningen he believed the champagne was Veuve Cliquot and said that if it was from the late 18th century, it could cost around 500,000 Swedish crowns ($68,000) a bottle.

Because the wreck lies off Aland, an autonomous part of Finland, the local authorities will decide what will be done with the wreck -- and the champagne.

A Quick Snack!!

Bear takes off in car with sandwich

A bear went for a little joyride in the town of Larkspur, Colorado Friday morning when it got into an unlocked car and knocked the gear into neutral, sending it down a hill and knocking over a few trees before coming to a full stop.

The Denver Post reports that an adult black bear got behind the wheel after the driver's son left a peanut butter and jelly sandwich and a stick of deodorant in the car. The door closed behind the bear and as it looked for a way out, the gear shift was bumped into neutral and sent the car rolling 125 feet backwards down a hill.

Neighbours called the police after hearing the car honk for 45 minutes.

Ralph Story said his 2008 Toyota Corolla is beyond repair: the interior is destroyed, the dashboard had been ripped out and the airbags have been deployed. Fortunately, the damages are covered by insurance and the bear was freed by deputies two-and-a-half hours after it's wild ride.

Cat Knap!!

Cat thief

A cat in England has been discovered to be behind a string of thefts from washing lines.

 

Oscar - who was being fostered by Peter and Birgitt Weismantel from Southampton - stole a number of items, including underwear.

Peter said: "He started bringing socks home a few months ago and then gardening gloves which we tracked to our neighbour.

"Then we had a situation in which he brought back young women's underwear.

"It began to escalate and I telephoned the police as people must have been missing clothes - especially with women's underwear being taken."

Camping!!

Caravan stolen with owner inside it

A caravan owner who was taking a nap was rudely woken when thieves drove it over a kerb.

William Roberts was using it while his home was being renovated but the £17,500 vehicle proved too tempting for crooks.

After the 73-year-old awoke and realised what had happened, he fled when the criminals stopped at a lay-by.

Mr Roberts, from Towyn, North Wales, said: ‘I’m lucky, if I hadn’t woken up I could have ended up anywhere or with an iron bar through my head.’

Two people denied theft at Llandudno magistrates.

Get Dressed

No more debating in your underwear in  town

The days when a citizen could address the Boulder City Council wearing only underwear may be over. The council will vote on new decorum rules in September, seven months after a resident stepped up to a microphone in his boxers.

The rules were already under review, but that incident led to a proposed ban on undressing during meetings.

It's not the first time the university town has wrestled with how much clothing is enough. In April, the city barred teens and adults from showing their genitals in public. That could put the wraps on two annual traditions that involve running or cycling naked.

But the council declined to outlaw topless females, despite complaints about a woman who gardens in a thong and gloves.

Up In The Air

Theme-park riders left dangling 70m in the air

Thrill-seekers at a Russian theme-park had a more exciting time than expected when a cable snapped on a rocket ride and left them dangling 70m in the air.

Ten unfortunate 'cosmonauts' had been on dubious-looking 'Rocket' ride at Divo Ostrov theme park on Krestovsky Island, St Petersberg, when the accident happened.

As the ride spun around, the cable supporting the rear of the ten-seater rocket snapped and the back plunged -- leaving the riders screaming and in fear for their lives.

Luckily rescue teams were quickly on the scene to free the riders from their 70m dangling position and no-one was seriously hurt.

And there was us thinking the joy of theme-parks is that while scared to within an inch of your life, you are always entirely safe. Guess Russia has a slightly different approach.

Quench That Thirst!

Belgium Plans To Turn Dead Bodies Into Bottled Water

IN Belgium, undertakers are looking for fitting way to make the passing of a life. Having circled life’s plughole in Belgium their entire lifetime, the Flemish Association of Undertakers, suggest dissolving local bodies in caustic solutions and flushing them down the toilet.

It’s what they would have wanted. Says a spokesman fro the FAOU:

“The idea is for the deceased to be placed in a container with water and salts and then pressurised and after a little time, about two hours, mineral ash and liquid is left over.”

It is thought that if the sludge enjoyed a calcium-rich diet in life, the process will do wonders for the bottled water industries.

Remains can be placed in the fridge and enjoyed with chips, muscles and bars of chocolate…

Coupe Le Grass!!

Drunk lawnmower charge

A US man was arrested after allegedly drunk driving his lawnmower down a motorway.

Robert Grimstad was apparently swerving across Highway 17, near Des Moines, when he as pulled over by sheriff's deputies.

He told officers he was collecting cans to help out the community.

However, the deputies smelt alcohol on his breath, took a blood test and charged him with drink driving.

Sheriff Fehr couldn't confirm how fast he was driving.

He explained: "I don't know. How fast can a lawn mower go?"

Money, Money, Money

Drivers steal €10k in cash lorry spill

Drivers in Italy have reportedly stolen thousands of euros after a lorry carrying €2 million (£1.67 million) overturned on a motorway in southern Italy.

Before police arrived to deal with the crash in Foggia, motorists had stopped and apparently made off with over €10,000 in one and two euro coins, Reuters reports.

The lorry was transporting the change from the Italian mint to local banks. The lorry's driver and its one passenger were reportedly injured in the crash.

Mummy’s Boy!!

Man holds his mother hostage for not doing his ironing

A man in the US has been charged after authorities say he took his mother hostage for six hours because she refused to do his ironing for him.

The 29-year-old man is facing charges of aggravated assault and false imprisonment after he allegedly pulled a gun on his mother and wouldn't let her leave the house for at least six hours when she wouldn't iron his clothes.

Sergeant Marc Griffith of Carroll County Sheriff's Office in Georgia said that the man, who lives with his parents in Villa Rica, Georgia, insisted that doing the ironing was 'woman's work'.

'Mama finally said, "I’m not ironing your clothes," and he went cuckoo on her,' Griffith told the Atlanta Journal-Constitution, saying the man then pulled out a gun, took his mother's keys and mobile phone, and refused to let her leave.

The 51-year-old mother eventually managed to escape, and went to a police station. She was unharmed in the incident. The man surrendered to police without incident, and is being held in jail.

Stuck Up!!

Father In The Dock For Slapping Boy Who Tried To Glue Granny To The Toilet

Mr Llewellyn lost his temper as a result of the youngsters prank. He struck young Kai. He left bruise that a witness reported to the police. (You can legally hit your children so long as you don’t leave a mark, which is why torturers make good parents.)

At Manchester Crown Court, the assembled heard that Llewellyn had been living “in harmony”, whose mother had died in 2007.

The grant, Mr Llewellyn’s mum, was reportedly “amused” by the attempted gluing.

Says the accused:

“I was extremely annoyed by this and over-reacted, assaulting him to the arm. I accept on occasions I have used physical actions to correct Kai. I no longer use physical methods to control my son.”

Llewellyn, from Beswick, Manchester, is ordered to serve a 12-month community order and attend a Probation Service ‘New Direction’ programme.

Grandma is advised to lift the seat. And Kai is warned that if you glue granny to the toilet, first make sure that you can reach the sink and have a good store of carrier bags…

Disturbing The Animals!!

Naked model provokes angry farmer attack

A disgruntled farmer attacked a group of art students after he found them photographing a naked woman on his land.

After berating them, angry farmer Hu Wen hit the students with a stick until they ran away from his farm in a local beauty spot Zhengzhou, eastern China.

'It wasn't just the students. We get a lot of tourists walking through the valley and they had all stopped too and were snapping away with their cameras and phones,' explained Wen.

'They complained to the police but I'm not sorry and I won't apologise.

'I'm not having those kind of perverts on my land and those students should be painting or drawing, not taking obscene photographs,' he added.

He added that he didn't hit the naked lady, instead helping her back into her clothes and giving her a lecture on immorality.

A Bed For The Night?

Naked drunk man misses bed by twenty miles

A drunk party-goer whose attempt to get back home saw him miss by twenty miles and fall asleep naked on a complete stranger's couch made an 'honest mistake', police said.

The man apparently thought that he'd successfully managed to walk to his home in Mission Valley, California when he undressed and fell asleep on the couch - but in fact he'd walked in completely the wrong direction, ending up at a condo in San Diego, around twenty miles away.

When he arrived after a night of drinking, he decided for some reason to take all his clothes off on the porch, before getting inside the condo and passing out on the couch - where he was discovered in the morning by the homeowner, who promptly headed back upstairs, armed himself and told his wife to call the police.

Police Lt. Jim Filley told the San Diego Union-Tribune: 'This gentleman thought he had been walking into his own home. We think it was an honest mistake.'

The homeowner, after the initial scare, agreed with this interpretation, and declined to press charges. The naked interloper was allowed to retrieve his clothes and return to his actual home, where he presumably tried to recover from a monster hangover.

'He was sober by then, so he got dressed and went on his way,' Filley said.

Buzz-Off??

 

Girl buzzing after 'growing' bee beard for charity

A brave 16-year-old schoolgirl has raised money for charity by 'growing' a beard made from hundreds of bees.

Nellie Odam-Wilson got the bees to land on her chin and neck by placing a Queen Bee on her face and therefore attracting the rest of the swarm.

The youngster - who works part-time at Quince Honey Farm in Devon - completed the feat to raise £400 for a charity trip where she will work at a Ugandan orphanage.

She says the bees were incredibly itchy and though they were only on her face for around seven minutes it felt like much longer.

Slightly worryingly farm owner Ian Wallace added that it was the first time someone had done the stunt without getting stung… we wonder if he told her that beforehand.

Never Too Old!

Pensioner 'beats up' husband

A 98-year-old Russian woman reportedly beat up her husband over his wondering eye.

The pensioner apparently attacked her 78-year-old spouse in a jealous rage after he showed an interest in their next-door neighbour.

Her much younger husband retaliated by apparently hitting her back with a rolling pin and injuring her hand. It is not known if he was hurt in the incident or how old the woman he allegedly flirted with was.

The elderly woman may face charges over the jealous attack.

Always Brush Your Teeth?

Bad set of teeth end negotiations for sex in Fla.

A man went to the police after getting robbed by a woman he intended to pay for sex, but refused when she flashed a smile full of bad teeth. The man told investigators he and a 25-year-old woman were negotiating a price until he noticed her dental problems. He told police that after he resisted, she snatched a checkbook containing $78 from his shirt pocket and fled.

The man told authorities the woman did not realize that he had tucked a wad of cash into her bra and that she got scared and ran away.

The woman was arrested on a robbery charge.

Gainesville police said it was unlikely the man would face misdemeanor charges for solicitation, because he was the victim of a felony.

“Salad” Days!!

Penis Cucumber Is Too Good To Eat

THE penis cucumber might look good enough to eat but to 35-year-old Iren Harsca, from Esztergom, Hungary, it is too good for your sandwich.

She says that on the point of emasculating the vegetable, she looked again:

“Then I realised what it was. It reminded me of my husband too much and I really love him, so I didn’t have the heart to cut it up.”

Vampire Gets Blame!

Vampire crash

A US woman blamed a vampire for a car crash.

The unnamed female had been driving her SUB along a dirt road in Colorado when she claims she saw the blood-sucking creature in the middle of the track, causing her to put the car in reverse and drive the vehicle into a canal.

The woman was not injured in the accident and her husband arrived to take her home.

There were no other witnesses to the incident.
Police say they do not believe drugs or alcohol played any part in the vampire incident.

Careless

Thief loses loot

Police in the US are on the hunt for a thief who gave them and his loot the slip.

The robber got away with just $1 and several packs of cigarettes when he held up a Uni-Mart convenience store in Lowrie Street in the Troy Hill area of Pittsburgh.

Wearing a ski mask and black baseball cap the man pointed a handgun at a store clerk, demanding money.

When the server told him she didn't know the combination for the safe, he took $66 in cash and the smokes, but as he fled the clumsy villain dropped all of the meagre amount of cash except a $1 bill.

Nobody was injured during the crime and police say they are now examining CCTV footage of the robbery.

On Ice!!

Man who kept body on ice in California is deported

Federal officials have deported a New Zealand drug dealer who kept his dead girlfriend's body on dry ice in a swanky Newport Beach hotel after she died of an overdose.

Immigration and Customs Enforcement says Stephen David Royds was deported June 25.

The 49-year-old Royds was paroled in May after serving about 1 1/2 years of a four-year prison sentence on felony drug charges.

He was arrested in 2008 for allegedly selling cocaine and pleaded guilty to drug charges. Investigators who searched his room at the Fairmont Hotel found the body of 33-year-old Monique Trepp in a plastic box filled with dry ice. Acquaintances said she died of an accidental drug overdose nearly a year earlier.

Cock-A-Doodle-Do!!

Pet rooster falls foul of legal system

The northern Michigan fowl whose address has been the focus of at least two court challenges is passing on the chance to crow before the Michigan Court of Appeals.

Andy and Sharon Peters, Beaker's owners, have instead opted to send the animal to the Second Chance Ranch and Rescue in Petoskey.

Authorities in September said the couple violated a county ordinance by having a farm animal on residential property. The Peters unsuccessfully fought the decision in Emmet County 90th District Court and 57th Circuit Court.

Resigned to their legal fate, the couple has begun Beaker's transition to the rescue ranch, where executive director Dr. Pam Graves tells the Petoskey News-Review that he's settling in and "acting like a chicken."

Fly-Blown

Maggots on plane

A plane was stopped from flying in the US after maggots began falling out of overhead lockers.

Horrified passengers were left stunned when the creatures started dropping onto seats as the US Airways flight - bound for Charlotte from Atlanta - prepared for takeoff.

Passenger Donna Adamo said: "It was like out of a creepy movie. It was disturbing."

Another passenger, Desiree Harnell, added: "There's loads of them, and they never stop growing and rolling around. I just couldn't wait to get off the flight."

A spokesperson for US airways said the problem was traced to spoiled meat in a passenger's hand luggage.

The man who packed the food was placed on another flight, while passengers had an hour wait for their plane to be cleaned.

After reaching its destination, the aircraft was fumigated as a precaution.

Snappy

Police make snappy arrest

A baby crocodile is back behind bars after leading police on a two hour chase when he escaped from a circus.

Cops in Gross-Rohrheim, Germany, thought pranksters were playing a joke when they were called at 2am with reports of a crocodile in the High Street.

But they found the 3ft long beast - who'll grow up to be more than twice the size of a man - sitting on the bonnet of a parked car keeping warm above the engine bay.

"He didn't like being disturbed so he was off and we were chasing him all over town," said one officer.

Police finally tracked him down two hours later and managed to bind his powerful jaws with gaffer tape to keep his razor sharp teeth out of action.

"The officers have no special training to catch crocodiles, but they had plenty of guts," said a police spokesman.

The crocodile has since been returned to its keepers - a local circus that was visiting the town.

“Armless”

Prank severed arm closes  motorway

A Halloween-style joke fake arm was caused a motorway to be closed for several hours after it was spotted by drivers.

 

Dozens of motorists traveling on the M62 in Merseyside had seen the faux arm lying at the side of the road and assuming it was real, called police.

As a result a search was launched and the road was closed while officers looked for the bloody arm and any other body parts.

After an extensive several hour hunt the joke arm was recovered and the road reopened -- but only when council workers contacted police to say they'd picked it up earlier in the day.

Officers say they don't know how the plastic arm ended up in the road… and if anyone could give them a hand finding out they would appreciate it.

D.I.Y. Zoo??

Car Thieves Steal Jonas The Tiger And Two Camels

THE police in Canada – the Sureté du Québec – are looking for a stolen trailer containing a tiger and two camels.

The beasts were on a trip from Bowmanville Zoo when the drivers stopped for a break. The trailer was stolen.

For any trailer thieves tuning in, the camels answer to the traditional names Sean and Todd, and the tiger is called Jonas.

Should the thieves not be animal lovers, the tiger is the one who likes tummy rubs…

Drunk As A Skunk??

500,000 UK workers have hangovers each day

Over half a million Brits turn up for work each morning suffering from a hangover, it has been found.

A study by a drink awareness charity discovered the average person goes to work suffering from the effects of too much alcohol three times a month.

Once there, almost one in five admit struggling to keep on top of their workload and to making mistakes.

The survey of 1,000 people also found seven percent have even had to leave work early because of a hangover.

On the bright side, ft least if you reading this while hunched over your computer at work and vowing never to drink again you know you are not the only one, and you won't be next time either.

The study also revealed contradictory perceptions of drinking with nearly two thirds (60%) of respondents admitting they’ve joked about having a hangover with their colleague or boss, despite nine out of 10 people thinking that having a hangover at work is unacceptable (89%).

A spokesperson for Drinkaware, said: "Having a hangover at work doesn’t just affect the person who has drunk to excess.

"With hundreds of thousands of people going to work every day after a heavy night, it impacts work productivity and even results in employees going home sick.

Chipped Off!!!

Sack of potatoes cost woman £750

A woman was duped into paying £750 for a sack of potatoes by fraudsters - who pretended they were electrical goods.

The horrified victim, from Ribbleton, Preston, believed she was paying a bargain price for two laptops and three mobile phones.

The conmen, who are believed to be Polish, even showed her what she thought she was buying before she handed over the cash - but switched the bag for one containing a sack of spuds.

The trusting woman only discovered the fraud when they had gone.

It comes after a 28-year-old Preston man fell victim to a similar scam in which he thought he had bought an i-Phone and laptop - but found they had been replaced by two bottles of water.

Detectives in Preston, who are linking the two frauds, are appealing for other potential victims who may not have reported the crime to come forward.

Det Insp Dave McKenna of Preston CID, said: “This is a very unusual but orchestrated fraud, and one that members of public must be vigilant against.

“If you are offered electrical goods for sale on the street do not accept it.

“If it seems too good to be true it probably is.

“The goods are probably stolen.”

In the first case a woman was approached by two Eastern European men on Beenland Street in Ribbleton, Preston, who offered the goods for sale at £750.

The first offender was of a large build with cropped hair and drove a Vauxhall vehicle.

It is being linked to a fraud on May 27 in the city, close to Deepdale Retail Park.

A man was approached by a group of three men as he was gardening in the front garden of his home on Dixon Avenue, in Deepdale.

They offered to sell him a laptop and i-Phone for £220.

The man accepted and they all went to the nearby Shell garage forecourt to do the transaction.

But while he was distracted the fraudsters replaced the goods with two bottles of water.

The three conmen had been travelling in a blue Ford vehicle.