Monday 31 May 2010

Doggie Heaven

Doggie creche

A British creche has opened its doors to dogs in need of losing weight.

CDPOM World in Bermondsey, south-east London, is offering podgy pooches assistance with shedding the extra pounds in a calming atmosphere through a number of interactive games designed to boost mental stimulation.

The creche's canine treadmill helps to burn off the puppy fat, while a pianist gently soothes work-out tensions.

CDPOM World's Anna Webb said: "We offer dogs a rich social and educational experience - much like the best creches offer children."

Sunday 30 May 2010

All In A Day’s Work

Mom gives birth while driving to hospital

A Minnesota mother has given birth to a baby boy while driving herself to the hospital, with the newborn's father steering the car from the passenger's seat. The Pioneer of Bemidji said 29-year-old Amanda McBride was rushing to the hospital Wednesday when suddenly her water broke and the baby "just slid out."

McBride said she was feeling labor pains at work, so she drove to pick up the baby's father and headed for the hospital. The father, 33-year-old Joseph Phillips, did not drive because he has a history of seizures.

Phillips told the newspaper that McBride yelled at him to take the wheel as she cradled the 8 pound baby boy, Joseph Dominick Phillips.

Officials at North Country Regional Hospital said they were stunned to learn the expectant mother was driving.

Saturday 29 May 2010

Winning TV!!!

One in ten 'would pick TV over partner'

Around one in ten Britons love television more than their partner, a new study has revealed.

The survey showed that 13% of people would rather dump their significant other than throw out their TV set for good, The Daily Telegraph reports.

Meanwhile, over half of those questioned (51%) admitted that television programmes were an integral part of their lives and something they would not be able to live without.

Others confessed to finding TV shows comforting and relaxing - 11% said that they felt safer with the television on, while 35% confirmed that they switch on their sets when they cannot sleep.

The research was carried out by QVC to mark the launch of its involvement in ITV1's late-night teleshopping slot The Zone.

Speaking of the results, QVC's marketing director Sue Leeson commented: ''Brits have always loved the TV and the wealth of entertainment it provides.

Whether it's for education, fun or shopping, TV has become a part of the family.''

Friday 28 May 2010

Massage Novice

Nuns set up massage service

A group of nuns have set up a massage service as a new way of making ends meet after their chicken breeding business fell flat.

The sisters at Marienkron Abbey in Monchhof, Austria, are reportedly making a fortune after converting their convent into a health spa.

The five star spa offers therapies with high pressure jets of mineral water, massage, and fitness classes with an expert chi kung Chinese breathing exercises.

Guests are pummeled with high pressure hoses of chilled mineral waters to stimulate the skin.

The Sisters of the Cistercian Order say the ice cold water treatments are good for the body and the soul and charge £100 a night for a break in the spa.

Thursday 27 May 2010

Buzz Beed

Thousands of bees cling to Michigan SUV

A beekeeper came to the rescue after a sport utility vehicle was swarmed by thousands of bees. Tanya Young of Hudsonville told The Grand Rapids Press her husband called Thursday to let her know that the bees had made the front bumper of her Honda their new home. She said she thought it was a joke.

The bees rattled the nerves of some neighborhood residents, who kept children indoors and shut windows. The bees had been living in a nearby tree, but it's unclear why they decided to swarm the SUV.

Beekeeper Jim Zoerner was called to help collect them. He and a colleague worked for about an hour and collected the bees in a wooden box hive.

Zoerner said there were no reports of bad stings.

Tuesday 25 May 2010

Mail It!!

20K pieces of mail end up in Pa. carrier's garage

The United State Postal Service has recovered approximately 20,000 pieces of mail - some of them more than a decade old - from a Philadelphia postal carrier's garage.

Special Agent Scott Balfour says it took three mail trucks to remove the letters. The carrier worked in the city's Bustleton neighborhood.

Balfour says some of the mail dates back to 1997.

Postal officials say they recovered the mail on April 28 and it was being delivered to customers this week.

Balfour wouldn't comment on what prompted the investigation but says the carrier hadn't been to work since February.

Postal officials haven't identified the carrier. Balfour says they're still trying to find the man so they can question him.

Monday 24 May 2010

Let Them Go Free!!

Mall slammed over bra contest

A shopping centre has been slammed for staging a competition to see how quickly contestants could unhook women's bras with one hand.

Anyone who could undo eight bras with one hand in under a minute won a shopping voucher to spend at the mall in Guangzhou, Guangdong province, China.

Eight women stood in a line on a stage, wearing only a bra and a face mask above the waist, for the event, reports the Guangzhou Daily.

Some of the watching crowd clapped and cheered as contestants successfully unfastened bras - but others were shocked by the event.

One angry shopper, Zhang Zhengyi, complained: "This must have been the brainwave of a dirty old man - why would anyone want to take part in such a degrading spectacle?"

But a spokesman for the Modern Development shopping mall defended the competition which he said was to promote underwear awareness.

"The workings of a women's bra are a mystery for many men - this activity helped more people understand bra culture and explore its secrets," he said.

Ironically, the competition was won by a woman who successfully unfastened eight bras in just 21 seconds.

She did not wish to be identified but said: "I thought it was a lot of fun. I didn't expect to win - maybe it was because I get so much practice in my everyday life."

Sunday 23 May 2010

Caught on the Hop

Amorous Aussie roo has outback residents hopping

An amorous kangaroo in the mood for love has female joggers hopping mad in the Honeymoon Ranges of Australia's outback Northern Territory, prompting a flood of angry calls to authorities.

Territory police said Friday they had received reports of the kangaroo stalking residents in the ranges near the township of Tennant Creek, including a woman on her morning walk.

"There was no doubt about what he wanted, the randy old thing," the woman told local papers. "I turned around and saw this big kangaroo behind me, so I hastened my steps," she said.

The woman said the obviously aroused animal bounded off when other walkers approached and she sought to escape.

Later that day a mother-of-three encountered the aroused kangaroo at a night-time speedway meeting, while a man said he challenged the intimidating macropod and came off second best, receiving a swift punch in response.

Northern Territory police told Reuters they were not pursuing the salacious mammal unless it continued to cause trouble.

Saturday 22 May 2010

It’s A Zoo In Here!

Police discover snakes, alligators and spiders in house

Police called to a house in Milwaukee were surprised to discover that it was filled with hundreds of reptiles including alligators and anacondas, as well as rodents, and spiders.

Police were originally called to the house to investigate a report of an alleged sexual assault, but upon arriving discovered the menagerie, both in the house and in a nearby building that doubled as a residence and a storage facility.

Among the animals discovered were at least five anacondas between 20 and 30 feet long, alligators, spiders and one chicken (who was presumably feeling rather nervous).

Some of the animals were in containers, while others were roaming freely.

Police needed the help of an animal control unit and staff from a nearby zoo to round up all the animals. A 50-year-old woman was arrested, and could face charges.

Friday 21 May 2010

Taking A Nap

Man sleeping in trash bin nearly crushed

Police in northern Indiana said a man who was apparently sleeping inside a large trash bin narrowly missed being crushed by a garbage truck. Police Lt. Ed Windbigler said an Elkhart Truth newspaper carrier spotted the 42-year-old man on top of the garbage truck about 4 a.m. Thursday and yelling for it to stop. Windbigler said the man fell to the pavement before emergency crews arrived and underwent surgery for injuries that included a possibly lacerated liver and spleen.

Windbigler said the truck's driver had compacted its load just before dumping the bin holding the man or he likely would have been crushed.

Thursday 20 May 2010

Let Me In!!

Snoopy prisoner

A British man tried to break into prison - dressed as Snoopy.

The unnamed man - who wore fancy dress as the fictional dog in the long-running comic strip 'Peanuts' - stunned jail workers when he tried to break into prison with an un-costumed sidekick.
When Snoopy and his friend failed to break down a door, they pelted prison officers' cars with concrete missiles.

A source at Isle of Wight's Albany prison said: "They weren't exactly inconspicuous - but it was taken seriously because they appeared to have a gun. They caused a real commotion and it was only later they were found to be armed with a water pistol."

The duo - who were arrested and detained under the Mental Health Act - later realised they had targeted the wrong jail anyway.

Wednesday 19 May 2010

Something Fishy!!

Giant Herring

A Swedish man has discovered a giant herring.

The fish, which measures 3.5 metres - the first found in the Scandinavian country in more than 130 years -, was found dead in the small fishing village of Bovallstrand by passer-by Kurt Ove Eriksson.

He said: "There was something big floating... at first we thought it was a big piece of plastic. But then we saw an eye. I went down to check and saw that it was this extremely strange fish."

The Regalecus glesne, which is known as the King of Herrings or Giant Oarfish, has since been frozen.

It had a deep cut through its body and was missing its back fin, but will now be added to an exhibit on sea monsters.

Tuesday 18 May 2010

A “Right” Production!!

Doggie theatre

An Australian theatre is staging a concert for dogs.

The world famous Sydney Opera House plans to hold an experimental twenty minute outdoor show which will feature music in such a high pitch that only dogs will be able to hear it.

The one off concert, which will take place on the building's northern foyer, is being held as part of the upcoming Vivid Live music festival.

Local dog owner Renee Russell said she couldn't wait to bring along her spaniel Ollie.

She said: "I'm definitely going, I want to see how he'll react. It's getting harder to find places you can take dogs so it's nice they are putting on an event for them."

Monday 17 May 2010

All Tied Up!

Dominatrix 'Mistress Tia' banned from village hall

Professional sadomasochist Sophie Allen, 27 – stage name Mistress Tia – hired the hall in Waters Upton in Telford, Shropshire, for sessions.

She offers caning, verbal abuse, flogging, waxing, whipping and boot worship to her slaves.

Blogging on her website, she said: ‘Been getting ready for my production shoot tomorrow, can’t wait, got loads of new slaves coming, putting some really great ideas into practice.

‘Hired out the village hall again in Telford which is a really big place with nice wooden floors which really accentuate the sound of my heels.’

She charges £80 for 30 minutes or £150 for an hour, with photos available as mementos for an extra £20.

Darren Morgan, who runs the local butchers, said: ‘I am shocked to hear of such lurid activities.’

Another villager added: ‘As long as they keep away from us, they can do what they like.’

Katrina Baker, chairman of the hall management committee, confirmed the sessions had been banned.

She said it had been booked by a man ‘for auditions’ so the true nature of what was going on did not become clear until managers realised he was Mistress Tia’s business partner.

Sunday 16 May 2010

Driven Crazy!!

Woman who passed driving test on 960th try to buy car

The Yonhap news agency reported on Thursday that 69-year-old Cha Sa-soon passed the driving part of the test last month on her 10th try. South Korea requires a written test first, and Cha took it nearly every day since April 2005 before passing last year.

Yonhap quoted her as saying she wanted to buy a small second-hand car to visit her son and daughter, and for her business selling vegetables.

Officials at the drivers' license agency in Jeonju, 130 miles (210 kilometers) south of Seoul, were not available for comment.

Saturday 15 May 2010

Smelt It – Dealt It!!

Fart absorbent blanket becomes an online hit

An advert for a fart smothering blanket which claims to quickly absorb the odour of flatulence has become a YouTube hit.

The 'Better Marriage Blanket' is said to contain the same type of carbon fabric used by the military to protect against chemical weapons.

Since the ad - which claims to offer a "real solution to a very real problem" - was uploaded to YouTube, it's already been watched more than 1m times.

Denver science teacher Francis Bibbo says he created the material 15 years ago but it is only now coming to market as a product for gassy couples.

Makers say the £30 blanket makes an ideal wedding or anniversary gift for your loved one… or you could just cut down on the baked-beans.

Friday 14 May 2010

Penis Envy

Penis mockery allegedly led to airport beating

A Miami International Airport employee has been arrested for allegedly beating a co-worker with an expandable police baton for mocking the size of his penis, the Miami Herald reports.

A few months ago, co-workers watched as Rolando Negrin tested the airport's full-body imaging machine.

According to the newspaper, Negrin endured months of ridicule before he allegedly snapped Tuesday night and attacked a male co-worker in the airport parking lot.

He allegedly forced the co-worker to get on his knees and apologize before issuing the beating.

Negrin has been charged with aggravated battery.

The Transportation Security Administration said Negrin has been suspended and an internal inquiry has been launched.

The full-body scanning machines, which have been used in the U.S. since 2008, have sparked outcry from privacy watchdogs like the American Civil Liberties Union.

Some Canadian airports introduced the scanners in January.

Thursday 13 May 2010

In The Deep End

German pensioner fined €14,000 for cannonball dives at public pool

A 74-year-old retired teacher, identified only as Axel G., was accused of terrorising a local pool, where cannonballs, or Arschbomben, (literally "ass bombs") are forbidden.

He appeared before the Alzey district court this week to appeal the fine. According to The Local, the pensioner had been accused of terrorising fellow swimmers for years with his explosive dives, spitting in the water and even dunking a young girl underwater.

Axel G. initially denied all of the charges, but CCTV footage of the pool revealed evidence of the disruptive diving.

He has since withdrawn his appeal, and has agreed to pay the fine.

Wednesday 12 May 2010

A New Drive-In

Man in burning truck drives to fire station

Truck on fire? Forget calling 911. Craig Brown of Carlton just drove a few more blocks to the McMinnville Fire Station when smoke started to billow from under the hood of his pickup. McMinnville Fire Marshal Eric McMullen said a firefighter who'd been outside Friday morning washing an ambulance rushed inside to get help.

Firefighters opened the hood and found flames licking around the engine. They quickly grabbed a hose and put out the fire.

McMullen said the crew was happy to be able to help without leaving the station. And he adds, "We were joking today about our new drive-up service."

Tuesday 11 May 2010

Dying To Score!

Referee Books Dying Footballer For Diving

A football referee gave a yellow card to a player for diving - only to find moments later he had actually collapsed and died.

Goran Tunjic was playing for Croatian side Mladost when he fell to the ground in the 35th minute of the match against rivals Hrvatski Sokola.

The referee had warned the teams before the match that he would not tolerate any diving or over-the-top behaviour.

After seeing 32-year-old Mr Tunjic lying on the ground, he marched across the pitch to wave a yellow card at him.

But it was not until other players gathered around him that they realised he was not faking it.

The referee immediately saw that he had made a mistake and called for medics.

Mr Tunjic was taken to hospital where he was declared dead on arrival.

Doctors said he had died on the pitch from a massive heart attack.

"Doctors tried to help him, but there was nothing they could do," a team spokesman said of the player, who had no previous medical problems.

"He just fell dead on the spot."

The game was abandoned with the score remaining 0-0.

Monday 10 May 2010

Cheesy!!

Cheesy sandwich ban

A British nursery banned a child from eating his cheese sandwich - because it was too unhealthy.
Staff at the Westfield Children's Centre, in south Wigan - who confiscated two-year-old Jack Ormisher's lunch and offered him their fruit and vegetables instead - claim it broke their healthy eating rules which deemed it a snack.

Jack's mum, Dorothy, 32, has since moved her son to a different nursery after she was informed his sandwich would need to include lettuce or tomato in the future.

She said: "It is absolutely pathetic. When I told people at his new nursery what had happened some laughed with shock - but others were horrified."
Nursery manager Aukje Clegg said: "A place is still available at Westfield should the parents re-consider."

Sunday 9 May 2010

Children’s Books You Will Never See

"You Are Different and That's Bad"
"Dad's New Wife Timothy"
"Pop! Goes the Hamster...And Other Great Microwave Games"
"Testing Homemade Parachutes Using Household Pets"
"Babar Meets the Taxidermist"
"Curious George and the High-Voltage Fence"
"The Boy Who Died from Eating All His Vegetables"
"Start a Real-Estate Empire With the Change from your Mom's Purse"
"The Pop-Up Book of Human Anatomy"
"Things Rich Kids Have, But You Never Will"
"The Care Bears Maul Some Campers and are Shot Dead"
"How to Become The Dominant Military Power In Your Elementary School"
"Controlling the Playground: Respect Through Fear"
"You Were an Accident"
"Strangers Have the Best Candy"
"The Little Sissy Who Snitched"
"Some Kittens Can Fly!"
"Getting More Chocolate on Your Face"
"Where Would You Like to be Buried"
"Kathy Was So Bad Her Mom Stopped Loving Her"
"The Attention Deficit Disorder Association's Book of Wild Animals of North Amer-Hey! Let's Go Ride Our Bikes!"
"All Dogs Go to Hell"
"The Kid's Guide to Hitchhiking"
"When Mommy and Daddy Don't Know the Answer, They Say God Did It"
"Garfield Gets Feline Leukemia"
"What Is That Dog Doing to That Other Dog?"
"Mr. Fork and Ms Electrical Outlet Become Friends"
"Bi-Curious George"
"Daddy Drinks Because You Cry"
"Beat Up Enemies Fast, and Other Fun Recess Games"
"The Best and Complete Guide to Throwing Tantrums"
"My daughter, Billy"
"Let's chase that Rabid Raccoon and See What Happens!"
"Barney and His Dinosaur Friends Trample New York City"

"What Happens if I Pour Gasoline in the Fireplace?"
"Let's use the Kitty as our Lasso!"

Saturday 8 May 2010

A Lite Snack!!

Man eats 1,500 lightbulbs

Wang Xianjun, 54, of Sichuan Province, started to snack on broken glass because he says it is 'crispy and delicious.'

He recalls: "I accidentally swallowed a piece of thick fish bone, but nothing happened. With curiosity, I tried several pieces of broken glasses secretly and nothing happened also."

From then on, from time to time Wang would eat a light bulb. "I am not eating it every day, but from time to time.

'I only eat the light bulb during my breakfast, and each day no more than one bulb."

When eating a light bulb Wang first smashes it before swallowing it piece by piece, sipping from a glass of water.

Wang's family said they have taken him to have checkups in the hospital, but it would seem that his unusual diet has had no adverse effects.

Friday 7 May 2010

It’s A Fair Cup!

Mom turns in son for stealing drugs from her bra

A Memphis woman called police after she found her son stealing her prescription sedatives from her bra. The Commercial Appeal reported that police found a 28-year-old man hiding under a neighbor's sport utility vehicle Wednesday morning. The mother, whose name police didn't release, told officer she awakened before dawn to find her son filching Xanax from her bra, where she kept it to prevent him from stealing it.

Police said the man had 22 Xanax pills, 15 of them wrapped in toilet paper and hidden in his sock. Officer said a search of the man's room turned up more pills and various drug paraphernalia.

He was in jail Thursday with bond set at $40,000.

Thursday 6 May 2010

Ear Ear

'Fat' woman tries to eat man's ear

A woman has been arrested on suspicion of biting part of a man's ear off after she became angry at being called fat.

Police were called to a hospital in Lincoln, Nebraska to talk to the injured man who was missing part of his ear, reports The Metro.

According to police spokeswoman Katie Flood, the 24-year-old man said that he had been bitten after getting into an argument with people at a party.

He said he had called the alleged biter, 21-year-old Anna Godfrey, 'fat'. Godfrey then reportedly retaliated, biting a chunk out of his ear.

Godfrey has been arrested on suspicion of felony assault. The lump of missing ear has not been found.

Tuesday 4 May 2010

Netted!!

Netball team stuck in lift for 2.5 hours

Members of an under-16 netball team had to be given oxygen when they got stuck in a lift shortly after a match.

Eight players in the St Austell team became trapped between floors for two-and-a-half hours at their hotel in Manchester, Western Morning News reports.

Coach Jean Davis said: "The girls had been playing all day and thought they would have an ice bath.

"Eight of them got into the lift to go to the spa and about a minute later we heard an alarm going off - then we heard the girls shouting."

She added: "The lift had got stuck between floors and the management called for an engineer but he was an hour away on the motorway, so we waited and waited.

"The lift was not a big space and it was getting hot in there. We could pass the girls drinks through a gap but in the end we insisted they call the fire brigade."

The fire services were unable to free the girls but provided oxygen before their rescue when the engineer arrived.

Monday 3 May 2010

Left For Dead

'Dead' patient checks himself out of hospital

A hospital in Melbourne has offered an apology to a patient for declaring him dead.

Peter Thornton was admitted to the Alfred Hospital in early March for a severe bout of gastro.

He checked himself out after he says he was left lying on a trolley for 12 hours.

On visiting his GP yesterday, he was shown a letter from the Alfred stating he died on March 9.

"I can't believe that a doctor has declared me dead," he said.

Mr Thornton's GP, Dr Beng Eu, says he was shocked to receive the letter.

"This has never happened before, I've never come across this before in all the years I've practised," he said.

Sunday 2 May 2010

Those Were The Days!!

I WAS BRUNG UP PROPER !!

CONGRATULATIONS TO ALL MY FRIENDS WHO WERE BORN IN THE
1930's 1940's, 50's, 60's.

First, we survived being born to mothers who drank while they carried us and lived in houses made of asbestos.
They took aspirin, ate blue cheese, raw egg products, loads of bacon and processed meat, tuna from a can, and didn't get tested for diabetes or cervical cancer..
Then after that trauma, our baby cots were covered with bright coloured lead-based paints.
We had no childproof lids on medicine bottles, doors or cabinets and when we rode our bikes, we had no helmets or shoes, not to mention, the risks we took hitchhiking.
As children, we would ride in cars with no seat belts or air bags.
We drank water from the garden hose and NOT from a bottle...
Take away food was limited to fish and chips, no pizza shops, McDonalds , KFC, Subway or Nandos.
Even though all the shops closed at 6.00pm and didn't open on the weekends, somehow we didn't starve to death!
We shared one soft drink with four friends, from one bottle and NO ONE actually died from this.
We could collect old drink bottles and cash them in at the corner store and buy Toffees, Gobstoppers, Bubble Gum and some bangers to blow up frogs with.
We ate cupcakes, white bread and real butter and drank soft drinks with sugar in it, but we weren't overweight because......
WE WERE ALWAYS OUTSIDE PLAYING!!
We would leave home in the morning and play all day, as long as we were back when the streetlights came on.
No one was able to reach us all day. And we were O.K.
We would spend hours building our go-carts out of old prams and then ride down the hill, only to find out we forgot the brakes. We built tree houses and dens and played in river beds with matchbox cars.
We did not have Playstations, Nintendo Wii , X-boxes, no video games at all, no 999 channels on SKY ,
no video/dvd films,
no mobile phones, no personal computers, no Internet or Internet chat rooms..........WE HAD FRIENDS and we went outside and found them!
We fell out of trees, got cut, broke bones and teeth and there were no
Lawsuits from these accidents.
Only girls had pierced ears!
We ate worms and mud pies made from dirt, and the worms did not live in us forever.
You could only buy Easter Eggs and Hot Cross Buns at Easter time...
We were given air guns and catapults for our 10th birthdays,
We rode bikes or walked to a friend's house and knocked on the door or rang the bell, or just yelled for them!
Mum didn't have to go to work to help dad make ends meet!
RUGBY and CRICKET had tryouts and not everyone made the team. Those who didn't had to learn to deal with disappointment. Imagine that!! Getting into the team was based on
MERIT
Our teachers used to hit us with canes and gym shoes (now that's a thought ...) and bullys always ruled the playground at school.
The idea of a parent bailing us out if we broke the law was unheard of.
They actually sided with the law!
Our parents didn't invent stupid names for their kids like 'Kiora' and 'Blade' and 'Ridge' and 'Vanilla'
We had freedom, failure, success and responsibility, and we learned HOW TO
DEAL WITH IT ALL !

And YOU are one of them!
CONGRATULATIONS!

You might want to share this with others who have had the luck to grow up as kids, before the lawyers and the government regulated our lives for our own good.

Saturday 1 May 2010

A Sickie!

Man 'deliberately vomits' on police officer at baseball game

21-year-old Matthew Clemmens, of New Jersey, allegedly made himself throw up over the off-duty officer at the game between the Philadelphia Phillies and the Washington Nationals in Philadelphia last Wednesday.

Reports suggested it was in retaliation for the fact that a friend of Clemmens had just been ejected from the stadium for unruly behaviour.

'It was the most vile, disgusting thing I've ever seen,' victim Michael Vangelo said on Friday. 'He has two fingers down his throat, he lunges forward and vomits on myself and my 11-year-old.'

According to Vangelo, as he tried to shield his children, Clemmens then punched him in the face, before other fans rushed to help - holding Clemmens until police arrived, and punching him in the face when he tried to escape.

Clemmens now faces charges of, among other things, assault, reckless endangerment, and disorderly conduct.