Tips For Those “Useless” Function Keys.

F1: Blocks the Wi-Fi signal that Mr.-Sit-at-the-Best-Seat at-Starbucks-for-Nine-Hours is using, forcing him to shut down and vacate the premises.

F2: Sends a nasty e-mail to Microsoft execs' personal
e-mail box relaying that a Windows bug is about to crash your system and you really appreciate the
inconvenience-again (this could work for any vendor, of course).

F3: Deletes embarrassing Facebook photos of you
posted by high school classmates.

F4: Brings up an image of Megan Fox in "Transformers."

F5: Quickly quarantines any guilt-ridden e-mail from your mother and sends automated "Out of Office / Can't Respond for 3 Weeks / Do Not Contact" response.

F6: (See F4) You were just on a website of "questionable" integrity and you might have been infected with spyware-Automatically kills anything on your machine that resembles malware.

F7: (For IT people only) Sends a reply to those
less-than-savvy users who send indiscriminate barrages of help-desk e-mails: "Hit restart, genius."

F8: Sets your PC ablaze because it's 8 years old, still
running Windows 95 and you just can't take it anymore.

F9: Sends a digital shockwave to the spammer's
keyboard who just filled up your inbox with links to
purported photos of Megan Fox in "Transformers."

F10: Kills any Apple DRM feature.

F11: Crashes Twitter feed of any of your followers who are still tweeting about Michael Jackson.

F12: For when you're feeling mad at the world, plays
five-second burst of Jeff Bezos's freakishly maniacal
laugh ( hear it here).

OH…….and if you are wondering what the picture has to do with “keyboards”…..BUGGER ALL….I just liked it!!!