Growing Pains?

Giant prisoner 'too big for his cell'

A Dutch prisoner, described as a 'giant' by his lawyer, has gone to court claiming his cell is too small for him.

The 6ft 9ins man, who weighs 36 stone, says he cannot sleep properly or even use the toilet in his cell, reports the BBC.

Named by his lawyer as Angelo MacD, he is asking to complete his two-year sentence for fraud under house arrest.

Prison officials at Krimpen aan de IJssel have tried to relieve his discomfort by adding a a 2.15m plank and an extra mattress to his bed.

But MacD's lawyer, Bas Martens, told a court in The Hague that his client's conditions violated the European Convention on Human Rights.

"My client just wants to serve a comparable sentence without pain," Mr Martens told Radio Netherlands.

"He is 2.07m tall and a metre wide and a metre deep," he said. "He is not obese. He is a giant. He even walks like a giant, like out of the comic books."

The extra plank had helped but MacD still had to "sleep with one eye open in case he falls out of bed", added Mr Martens.

It was almost impossible for him to wedge himself into the shower, while the toilet was so low and tiny that visits had to be kept to the minimum.

MacD began his sentence in September and is not due for release until 12 April 2012. A court ruling on the case is expected early next month.

Mooning

Woman arrested for mooning cops

A US woman has been arrested - for mooning the police officers who arrested her brother.

Rita Zambrano, 45, of Hamblen County, Tennessee, saw police arresting her brother for driving offences.

She allegedly turned around, dropped her drawers and showed the officers her naked backside, reports Knox News.

Ironically, she is still behind bars, charged with indecent exposure, while her brother Ronnie Waddell, 44, has been released on bail.

Police officer David Gulley said Waddell was arrested after officers saw him driving a car outside of his sister's apartment.

As he and another officer cuffed Waddell, Gulley said that Zambrano stood in her doorway and harassed the officers.

"She was standing at her door and mooned me through the window on her front door," Gulley said.

Gulley said he was too busy to deal with Zambrano at the time, so he took Waddell to jail, then later issued a warrant for her arrest.

…..Get a life…Officer!!!!

Wheel On Fire!!

Man Removes Wheel Clamp By Setting Fire To His Car

Exeter Crown Court, where Torquay man Scott Smithers, 27, stands in the dock.

Having failed to remove the wheel clamp from his Metro with an axe (value of car: £120), Smithers set fire to a petrol-infused newspaper on the backseat and watched his car go up in flames.

He is said to have told police:

“My brain ended up being an idiot.”

Judge Paul Darlow sentenced Smithers’ brain to a high level community order.

Pussy Problem?

Drunk driver blames hungry cat

Says she had to drive to feed the pet

An unlicensed drunk driver in Australia blamed her hungry cat for forcing her to drive while almost five times over the legal alcohol limit.

The 27-year-old woman told police she went to the shops to buy cat food when she was intercepted near her home in Mudgegonga, Victoria - about 200 miles (322km) northeast of Melbourne.

The rear window of the vehicle was smashed after the driver allegedly backed into a tree when she first got behind the wheel.

She will appear in court at a later date.

Pussy Power??

Cat ordered to court for jury duty

A pet cat has been ordered to report for jury duty, despite being "unable to speak and understand English".

If the matter was not resolved, Sal the cat would have to report to Suffolk Superior Crown Court in Boston, United States, on March 23.

Owner Anna Esposito said she had told authorities that Sal could not speak or understand English. The cat's vet had even written a letter explaining that Sal was a "domestic short-haired neutered feline".

"Sal is a member of the family so I listed him on the last census form under pets, but there has clearly been a mix-up," Mrs Esposito said.

"When they ask him guilty or not guilty? What's he supposed to say - meow?"

Mrs Esposito said Sal was not suitable for jury duty because he could not understand English, one of the 10 statutory disqualifications preventing people from serving.

Her husband, Guy, said the summons for juror service was a surprise.

"I said, 'Sal, what's this?' I was shocked," Mr Esposito said.

"He likes to sit on my knee and watch crime shows with me but even so he's still under-qualified for jury duty if you ask me."

It is understood that Sal was inadvertently included on the juror list when paperwork was misread at the last census.

Just A Quick One Then!

Whisky comes home after century on ice

Three bottles of whisky abandoned in the Antarctic ice by British explorer Sir Ernest Shackleton more than a century ago returned home to Scotland on Monday.

The bottles of Mackinlay's were part of a cache recovered last year from beneath Shackleton's Antarctic hut, built in 1908 as part of his failed attempt to reach the South Pole.

They made it home Monday to Whyte and Mackay, the brand's owner, for analysis to see how they have fared after so long preserved in the polar chill.

The wooden crate containing the whisky, marked British Antarctic Expedition 1907, was frozen solid in the minus 30 degrees Celsius (minus 22 degrees Fahrenheit) temperatures but the whisky in the bottles was still liquid.

Two more crates of whisky, along with two of brandy, were also discovered but they were left under the floorboards of the hut.

The whisky is believed to have been bottled in Scotland in 1896 or 1897, making it among the oldest in the world.

Richard Paterson, Whyte and Mackay's master blender, said the analysis would be "for the benefit of the whisky industry".

"Never in the history of our industry have we had a century-old bottle of whisky stored in a natural fridge and subjected to some of the harshest conditions on this planet," he said.

"It is an absolute honor to be able to use my experience to analyze this amazing spirit."

For the next six weeks, the whisky will be analyzed, nosed, and tasted in full laboratory conditions.

The Antarctic Heritage Trust shipped the crate to Canterbury Museum in Christchurch, New Zealand, where it was painstakingly thawed in controlled conditions, allowing historians to get to the bottles inside.

The bottles are so rare and valuable that Whyte and Mackay's owner Vijay Mallya personally collected them and flew them back to Scotland.

"Shackleton made history with his travels and adventures, and I am sure we will make history ourselves when we unlock the marvels of these unique 100-year-old time capsules," he said.

Going Down?

Thieves get trapped in elevator

Two would-be thieves called in their own crime to police in Germany after they could not escape from a broken-down elevator over the weekend, police said in a statement.

“This sounds really dumb,” one of the thieves told police in Cologne over the elevator’s emergency phone, “But I’m afraid that we wanted to break in and the elevator has gotten stuck.”

When police arrived they found the two thieves aged 31 and 37 stuck in the elevator of an office building.

The thieves allegedly broke into the building and were attempting to reach a higher floor when the elevator became stuck, the police said.

They decided to phone for help when one thief injured his hand attempting to pry open the door.

Firemen eventually freed the men and they were arrested.

Finders ….Keepers?

Woman 'finds drugs in vacuum cleaner box'

A woman who was given a refurbished vacuum cleaner as a present reportedly found $280,000 (£176,000) worth of illegal drugs inside the box when she opened it on Christmas Day.

The unnamed woman discovered 2lb of crystal methamphetamine in the package, as well as 2.2lb of cocaine, the Green Bay Press Gazette reports.

Brown County Drug Task Force head Lt David Poteat said: "This was an 'are you kidding me' incident."

It is believed that the illegal substances were placed into the box before it was shipped from Mexico. The woman who received the cleaner is not suspected of playing any part in the alleged smuggling.

Just Weeding??

Giant hole opens up behind house

A Chinese family had to leave their home after a giant sinkhole suddenly opened up in their backyard overnight.

The hole is nearly 70ft wide and nobody has so far even been able to measure how deep it is.

Zhang Fengrong, 58, of Leshan, Sichuan province, said he suddenly heard a roaring sound at 2am.

He stepped outside and was amazed to see the giant hole opening up, and getting closer and closer to his house.

At first, it was only 10ft wide, but within 24 hours it had reached it's current size - and the family say they will lose their home if it gets any bigger.

Zhang said he had tried to measure the depth of the pit by letting down first a 130ft rope, then a 200ft rope, but they still hadn't reached the bottom.

"We can hear the sound of water when we stand on the edge of the hole, but when we throw down stones we don't hear them land or splash," he added.

The family are temporarily living in two rooms offered by the village office, and neighbours have helped them move most of their belongings from the house.