Sunday, 19 June 2011

Get A Life!

Asterix comics contain 700 traumatic brain injuries, say academics

Academics have carried out a detailed analysis of the 700 head injuries suffered by characters in the Asterix comic books, in a paper published by a respected medical journal.

The German scientists calculated that the “plucky little Gaul” and his sidekick Obelix were responsible for causing more than half of the wounds, “under the influence of a doping agent called ‘the magic potion’”, with Roman soldiers their most common victims.

They found that many of those who were knocked out in the 34 books, more commonly enjoyed by schoolboys than neurosurgeons, were often left with an outstretched tongue or amnesia but none appeared to die.

The researchers, led by Marcel Kamp at Heinrich Heine University in Düsseldorf, conclude: “The favourable outcome is astonishing, since outcome of traumatic brain injury in the ancient world is believed to have been worse than today and also since no diagnostic or therapeutic procedures were performed.”

Their paper, published in the official journal of the European Association of Neurosurgical Socities, known as Acta Neurochirurgica, sets out with no apparent irony their aim to “analyse the epidemiology and specific risk factors of traumatic brain injury in the Asterix illustrated comic books”.

They explain how in the books, published first in France in the 1960s and 1970s, the inhabitants of a small village in Gaul resist the Roman invasion with the help of a magic potion brewed by a druid.

The main characters “thump” Romans, pirates and Goths but a “detailed analysis had not been performed hitherto” of the injuries they suffered.

By “screening” all 34 books, the authors found 704 cases of head or brain injury, all but six suffered by men.

The victims were mostly Romans (450) but also included 120 Gauls, 59 bandits or pirates, 20 Goths, eight Vikings and five Britons. In 402 cases the perpetrators of the violence were Asterix and/or Obelix themselves.

In 696 cases “blunt force” was used but eight people were strangled and six suffered a fall.

More victims (390) suffered severe trauma than moderate (89) or mild (225), with the researchers using the standard Glasgow coma scale to assess the seriousness of their wounds.

About half (390) lost consciousness after being attacked and 188 were drawn with hypoglossal paresis – “an outstretched or sideward pointing tongue”. Half also had periorbital ecchymoses or “raccoon eyes” and some had “sporadic amnesia”.

The druid Getafix took the longest time to recover after “a case of massive force” in the form of a large stone known as a menhir falling on his head.

However the paper notes: “No case of death or a permanent neurological deficit following traumatic brain injury has been found.”

Most of those attacked were wearing helmets at the time but the “vast majority” lost this protective barrier “during the traumatic event”.

Asterix typically drank some of Getafix’s magic potion before fights.

“Ingestion of the magic potion by the aggressor was believed to give superhuman strength and was in fact associated with severe initial impairment of consciousness of the victims.”

However the researchers say that the potion was also used to treat wounds and point out that mistletoe, one of its key ingredients, “has been shown to have effects on brain tumours”.

In a comment piece, Karl Schaller, a neurosurgeon at the University of Geneva, describes the Asterix comics as “very important” in European history and adds: “Fighting against pretension of hegemony by the bad guys – be it on land or on water – has never been illustrated in a more decent, ironical and sometimes hilarious manner.

“Most interestingly, according to the analysis provided by this paper, it was not that dangerous either, given the low rate of serious injuries.”

……..and these moronic “academics actually get paid for this!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Saturday, 18 June 2011

Sheepish!

Sheep 'saved owner's life'

A Wiltshire woman says her pet sheep saved her life - by spotting her breast cancer.

Emma Turner, 41, from Wroughton, had no idea she had a tumour when Cotswold sheep Alfie suddenly began butting her in the chest, reports the Daily Mail.

A deep bruise developed on the archaeologist's chest over the next few days and she then discovered a lump in the middle of it.

Ms Turner went to hospital to have the lump checked out and a biopsy revealed the early stages of breast cancer.

She has now undergone chemotherapy to treat the tumour, which doctors believe could have gone unnoticed for years if Alfie hadn't butted her.

Ms Turner said: "Alfie is normally really well behaved but that particular day he went nuts and it took three of us to hold him down.

"The doctors and nurses said that if Alfie hadn't done what he did, when he did it, I wouldn't have found the lump for a few years, by which time it would have spread.

"Everyone at the hospital is convinced that Alfie saved my life."

Ms Turner rescued five-year-old Alfie when his mother died during childbirth and nursed him through a number of illnesses during the first 18 months of his life.

She devoted months of love and attention to him and he became a firm favourite with visitors to Vowley Farm, in Wootton Bassett, Wiltshire, where she keeps him.

Friday, 17 June 2011

A Knight’s Tale?


Knight's bid to win maiden backfires


A would-be knight who tried to woo a maiden by riding into her home on a horse is facing five years behind bars for aggravated breaking and entry.
Lovelorn Jan Rudnicki, 40, hatched the scheme to bowl over divorcee Gosia Domoslawska after a night's drinking down his local bar in Jarnoltowka, Poland.
But terrified Gosia, 36, dialed 999 when her drunken suitor - stripped to the waist - galloped up her garden path and smashed his way through the front door like a battering ram.
"He's a loon. I was at home watching TV with my daughter when I heard this deafening crash and suddenly this half-naked man on a horse appeared in my front room," she said.
"I never fancied him before and I certainly don't now. If this was supposed to win my heart he must be seriously off his rocker," added Gosia.
Pal Mirek Nowak explained: "At first we thought Jan was joking. But then he went outside, climbed onto this horse - which he'd ridden to the pub - and set off bare-breasted and bare-backed.
"The next thing we knew, he'd been arrested."
Now the divorced dad-of-seven Jan has apologised and offered to replace the door.
But a police spokesman said: "Smashing into someone's home uninvited is a crime and he will be punished for it."

Thursday, 16 June 2011

All Steamed Up!


Steamroller joyride ends with man pinned
A man who allegedly took a steamroller on a joyride had to be rushed to hospital after he became pinned beneath the machinery.
Police were called around 3:20 a.m. Sunday after received reports a man's ankle was under a steamroller and he was pinned. He was taken to hospital with a serious leg injury.
Police said the man had allegedly taken the steamroller for a joyride and lost control, the steamroller tipping over on him.
Police said alcohol was a factor.
The man is facing charges of theft and impaired driving. An investigation is underway.

Wednesday, 15 June 2011

Here Piggy Piggy?


Pigs cause jam after escape attempt

Eight pigs have caused a traffic jam after tipping over a trailer they were in to try to escape being slaughtered in Novokuznetsk, Russia.
Eight Russian pigs caused a big traffic jam after trying to escape being slaughtered.
The "stressed" porkers broke out of the trailer they were being transported to an abattoir in by rocking the vehicle from side to side - and their actions caused big queues on a bridge in Novokuznetsk, Russia.
A spokesman for the traffic police department in the west Siberian city said: "The pigs might have been under stress during the ride and started rocking the trailer."
Drivers helped try to catch the porkers and some members of the public assisted in moving the trailer, but two of the crafty pigs have so far managed to avoid being butchered and still remain at large in the city.

Monday, 13 June 2011

The Gravy-Train Never Stops In Europe!


European parliament refuses to release expenses report

The European Parliament is refusing to release a secret report detailing widespread abuse of MEPs expenses despite an EU court ruling that there is "overriding public interest in disclosure".

The existence of the document, written by Robert Galvin, a senior EU official who is the parliament's chief internal auditor, was first disclosed by The Daily Telegraph in 2008.
Despite public controversy across Europe over misuse of generous allowances paid to MEPs, parliament officials have fought tooth and nail to keep the Galvin report, number 06/02, secret.
During an internal investigation, Mr Galvin discovered large scale abuse of £185 million in MEP staffing allowances and general expenditure expenses, paid without receipts.
Parliament lawyers argued that publicising the report "could be used to derail" decision-making in the EU assembly.
"The use members make of the allowances available to them is a sensitive matter followed with great interest by the media," said a legal submission.
EU judges threw out the special pleading in a judgement on Tuesday but parliament officials yesterday continued to refuse to disclose the report until an administration decision on whether to appeal in August.
Ciaran Toland, the Irish lawyer who took the case to court, said he was disappointed that parliament would not hand over the document.
"They should publish it and accept the finding of the court. It is a principle that this kind of report should be published now and in the future," he said.
"No self-respecting parliament should ever be afraid to discuss its finances in front of the citizens who elect it, and who pay for those very funds."
Heidi Hautala, a Finnish Green MEP, said: "Instead of inventing trumped excuses to deny citizens access to information that should be in the public domain anyway, the parliament should be helping."

Sunday, 12 June 2011

Cooling Off?


Horse rescued from swimming pool


A horse had to be rescued from a swimming pool after it bolted and fell in when his rider hopped off to answer a call of nature.
It took 11 firefighters and wildlife experts more than an hour to haul the terrified stallion - called Coco - from the open air pool, in Wels, Austria.
"The horse wasn't tied up and he just took off. It crashed through a hedge and went head over hooves into the pool," explained one firefighter.
"He was very frightened but just couldn't seem to haul himself out of there so we waited until he was calm and hauled him free," he added.

Saturday, 11 June 2011

Photo Opportunity?


French customs agent axed for fun with Obama passport

French authorities suspended a customs inspector for having a photo taken of himself with US President Barack Obama's passport as the leader entered France for the G8 summit, officials said Friday.
The inspector annoyed traveling US officials by posing for a souvenir picture after stamping Obama's passport as the White House delegation arrived on May 26, a union and local radio station France Bleu Cotentin reported.
"The American officials who handed over the passports of their delegation did not appreciate it," Philippe Bock, a local customs workers' representative of the Solidaires labor union, told AFP, confirming the report.
"The punishment came quickly," he added, saying the inspector was suspended and is likely to be transferred to another department.
The head of communications for the customs service, Jean-Roald L'Hermitte, confirmed there was "an incident involving a senior manager, during the passport check of foreign delegations."
France Bleu said it was the regional head of the customs service but L'Hermitte would not confirm this. He said the agent was suspended for up to three weeks and an investigation was under way.
Arriving for the summit in the northwestern resort of Deauville, Obama's presidential plane Air Force One landed at a minor local airport where customs officers rather than border police carry out passport controls.

Friday, 10 June 2011

Pull Them Up!!


Saggy pants mean no ride on one Texas bus system

The Ft. Worth Transportation Authority, known as "The T," has implemented a new policy that prohibits any passenger from boarding a bus with "saggy" pants that expose the person's underwear or buttocks.
"Riders don't want to see a person dressed like that on a public bus," Joan Hunter, communications manager for The T, told Reuters on Thursday. "Our customers think it's disrespectful."
The saggy pants look has been around for more than a decade, tracing its roots to prison attire because inmates are not issued belts. It spread to the rap and hip-hop music community, and from there became a popular symbol of freedom and cultural awareness for many young people.
Hunter said the new saggy pants policy is simply an extension of the dress code that The T has had for years, which has long required shirts and shoes.
"A lot of different people ride the bus," she said. "And many of them told us it's not a good idea to have your pants below your buttocks."
So up went signs in city buses, reading "Pull 'em up or find another ride."
Hunter said a Ft. Worth City Council member is looking for a donor to pay for billboards that carry the same message.
She said the decision on whether a potential rider's pants are inappropriate is up to the discretion of the bus driver.
The first day the policy was in place about 50 people were removed for improper pants, Hunter said.
Some passengers have complained that The T is trying to dictate what they can and can't wear, Hunter said, but overall reaction has been positive. She pointed out that many Ft. Worth-area schools have a similar policy.
"Following this rule is actually easier than following any other clothing policy we have," she said.
"All you need to do is pull your pants up before you get onto the bus. You don't have to go home and get a shirt or get a pair of shoes. Then, after you get off the bus, you can dress however you want."